Moon...
How are you tonight?
We come to you as two,
who wish to be as one…
Cast your sensual glow,
upon our faces…
Our hearts wish
heightened desire…
As we bare each other's bodies
our breath quickens…
Bathe us with your sensual light,
bring our hearts desire…
We are yours,
as each other's…
Our bare skin glows,
as you fill our desire…
Allow our desire to wax and wane,
throughout the night…
In evening's afterglow,
bring peace, serenity, and newfound love,
to us both...
© Jonathan Wikkins October 13, 2001
Revised March 7, 2008
All Rights Reserved
Author notes
Written October 13th, 2001
A contest entry
- What Inspires You? by honorable mention.
726 points, ended April 4, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Awesome write. Thank you for keeping it clean and pretty. Good luck poet.
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very beautiful piece. crafted wondorously. i love how you are speaking to the moon, i find i do that often in poems about the moon as well. if it could speak to us, i wonder what it would say? blessed be.
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Very nice...so sensual, sweet and simply beautiful.Truely poetic in every sense.I personally enjoyed this write very much.
Nice Write! -
I feel you have almost created a chant styled feel from this one followed by the afterglow, which has inspired many unions, songs, poems and artworks. Such a strange 'place' conjuring up contentment, warmth, fullfilment, and many other of what could be called 'Buddhist' traits in we, mere mortals. -tj-
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This is really good it show love in shuch a beautful way . I love the way that you put the words to gether her. It show that you have a very love heart. thank you for shareing
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don't touch it!
absolutely beautiful!!! well penned and sensual
hugs
xxx -
What a romantic piece..... well done.. Karen
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AWE Rick, C'mon now! Read it again dear! I like it it sounds like a prayer almost. Very sensual!
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this is a beautiful write,
great job -
Nice style and imagery...
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Great poem, very romantic in a way.
caf -
I likes this. Very pretty.
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I think 'Cast your sensual glow' is the reflected glow from the naked bodies, I liked the layout.
I would delete the 2nd stanza, it removes the duplication of sensual and desire and it flows better. the last stanza I would replace Allow our 'desire'(used twice already) with Allow our 'passion'. you did request critical comments :o) -
I think this was a lovely piece so much Imgination running in my veins excited and happy at the same time..wishing this could be what my first love could be like. I think you did exceptionally well in my opinion..very Vibrant and Gorgeous and sounds like it would be fun to be with someone on a full moon night,sounds so romantic. that though most dont like romance. so pooh on them. *smiles*
Thanks for the read
*~IceRose~* -
'Cast your your sensual glow,'
I don't get it???
This is decent -
Great poem! Wonderful imagery. Keep up the good work!
b-za
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