I try to rearrange the alphabet
and find sense in swirling masses of syllables
because alone, my thoughts are illogical
a cluster-fuck of black and white
polaroids and panoramic views
of phrases, places and faces, fact and fiction
idle information and shit of no use.
I try to transform these thoughts into
something I can recognize
so I put it in the form of a word
a pathetic attempt to personify
this runaway train of thought and feeling.
This paper is my savior.
Holding my hand through the mystifying journey;
the process of sorting through my personal contents
absorbing the impact of tormented tears
irrational fears, and resurfacing memories
from some forgotten years.
Ink guides me like the compassionate lover I wish I had
encouraging vowels and consonants to flow free
and construct a palpable reality
out of inexplicable emotion, and with the words I had chosen
unleash a flood tide of underlying expression.
paint visuals of hopelessness and loneliness,
trace the face of my inner child and
cut copy and paste the hollow space
that my cynical living has created.
So it becomes a photograph, recording, a piece of my mind
suspended in time in curvy vocabulary and incoherent scribbles.
Every time a sentence is born, I am hidden in spaces;
laughing, breathing, screaming, fucking,
dreaming, crying, bleeding, smiling
living.
This paper is my savior.
Author notes
maybe you get it...
I hate the title
Written August 30th, 2004
In a list
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Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Damn.
That was good.
Now time for me to say something with a little more intelligence.
I think you speak like a master here. Mature and professional. Keeping pace in your wording and describing your thoughts with just the right tone to make it simply beautiful falling off the lips.
You can see that you have a passion for your art and that you craft each line like a sculptor with his chisel, forming the curves and lines to perfect the model of his subject.
Your work is like a breathe of fresh air on a site that is mostly filled with mindless rambling thoughts, while your poetry is filled to the top with emotions that I can just fall into and swim around, loving every second of this read and all the times I can read it again.
You are a fantastic poet and I can't wait to see what else you have written.
much love,
James
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Oh yea and the title, hm... I think that you could have came up with something a little more elaborate, but who the hell cares about the title when the poem is as beautiful as this.
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Well to tell you the truth the first thing I noticed about this poem was the fact that the swear words seemed to actually fit in very well with the rest of the piece. Strange how something like this could express even more with that included when usually words like that will ruin certain poems. Well besides the use of cuss-words the poem was very well put together. I liked the subject matter more than anything else. I can relate with most every thing you conveyed throughout this piece.
"This paper is my savior"
That line seemed to fit very well with the rest of the content, I suppose the reason you put it in the poem "by itself" if i may, and twice, is because of its importance to the rest of the writing.
This is really one of my favorite pieces of writing I have found on this site in a while, Just like listening to a great song, I read because I can relate.
Thank you for sharing this piece and I plan on adding you to my favorites so i will be back to read your other work at a later time.
Thanks again, Mark. -
i'm not sure if you had a different title than the one which is reflected, but i think itz a great title (just noticed that you didn't like it according to your author's comments). this is an outstanding piece of work and i applaud you for it. have a happy thanksgiving, luvya, DARK.
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Yeah, I hate the title too. I agree with twistedpisces on the favourite line too- I love the idea of a 'cluster fuck of black and white' to describe your writing. I mean, anyone's writing, not yours specifically.
I think writing is a similar refuge for a lot of us- but you express it so painfully and palpably. I missed your poetry. It's always so vivid and angry. -
I am not coherent enough to write you a worthy comment so I will come back and try later. For right now I must say "wow!" And I also must point out that you, once again, took the words right out of my proverbial mouth.
For some reason my favorite line was... "a cluster-fuck of black and white..." It makes me smile for some twisted reason everytime I say that in my head.
~JayLynn
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The emotions that touch through this somehow run through my mind...and remind me that life needs to be lived honestly as it can!
Thank you for reminding me my friend!
Bill -
Outstanding! A most complete expression full of honest determination.
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