From this vantage point many faces shine.
Fair to the masses, medusa to the private.
Always crafty with the guile you design.
Telling what you want to hear is my crime.
My heart yearning for a small crumb of time
You would drop, leaving my desire celibate,
Was your usual demeanor, a cheap rhyme.
My ear only to your thoughts and problems.
Never caring or wanting to hear me chime,
Occasional thoughts not about only thee.
Your drama renders fair report not for me.
Noble is thy lofty brow of brazen emblems!
Author notes
Just a few lines I was playing around with. Hope you have fun with them as well.
Written August 30th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Thank you Troi for stopping in and having a read through this write of mine. Emotion tends to lead my wandering mind through many hazes and places of thought at different times. I really appreciate the grand comment, I am also glad that you liked reading through it. I was kinda partial to the second line as well if the truth where to be told.......lol. Thank you once again and take care.
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Impressive depth wtih amazing flow and style. Very much entranced. Second line is most telling and powerful. I think that you have a lot of talent, and despite what the author's comment says they seem to fit together perfectly kudos.
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poweslave you did provide a chuckle for me when I read your comment. I pictured you posing like a swedish king to speak your line about the single drop of rain falling on the brow for every second spent alone and then when you completed, dropping your hands to your side and turning to whomever was there and saying I failed miserably didnt I?.....lol. Thanx for the laugh and I do appreciate the grand comment. I didnt think you failed at all, and understood what you were talking about. I would be drenched if it were I that was recieving the drops of rain........lol. I thank you for the review and bid you a good day. Take care.
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You got that right Mythtress, and it seems that is the rule instead of the exception to the rule. We dont get what we want, and too I guess that is good sometimes. I do appreciate the review of this write and the images that it invoked for you. Every once in a while I try to be unique, though usually I find it to be the same as someone before me.......lol. Thanx and take care.
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Like a navigator sailing through the seas of life, a single rain drop falls on his brow for every second spent alone. That was my piss poor attempt at being "deep". But, seems as I failed miserably, I think I should really critique the poem. It had a very nice olde worlde style, almost Shakespearean in fact. And it was bloody good. Bloody good indeed. Nice one.
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Hey man sorry it has taken me so long to reply to your elegant description of my write. I appreciate the review. You pretty much nailed the whole thought of it and on the last line I was trying to hint at a type of mask that one uses to portray one thing to one person and then change for someone else. Thanx for the thoughts and take care.
P.S. Have fun with the workshop......lol. -
Enjoyed this... very unique and lyrical. Evokes many images...and reminds me that we don't always get who we want. Grin. thanks.
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I get the impression of the noble dance of the sexes...as if in a truly fancy French dance (pre-Revolution ...maybe Louix XIV) where desire and repression are acted out in ritualistic splendour and decadence.
Nobility is not dead, simply expressed in different ways these days...the dropped handkerchief has been replaced by emoticons and ASCII lust in these days of electronic voice.
The last line has me stumped a bit...I keep seeing UPC barcodes upon the brows...but that's probably just me. GRIN
Enjoyed it. Always nice to go swimming in other's words. -
Ah, Ye are too kind with your lavish remarks. I wished I could teach you becuase that would mean that I knew.......lol. Ah ha, I did mention that I was playing around with those lines, but what I didnt mention is how long I have been playing with them......lol
. What if I werent playing well now that is a good question......hehehehe. I too am anxious to see more 
I shall girl and I do appreciate you reading through this write and letting me know what you thought. Take care of yourself and it is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good to have you back at the site!!!!! -
I love the rhyme my dear~Awesome...
Teach me...geesh
And in your author's comments you mention a couple of lines you were just playing with...
Holy smokes....what if you were not playing....
Awesome as this was....I am curious to see more...hehe
Keep on playing and producing noble pieces
and much love~Desire
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Ah now doint go a comparing yourself to any of the fanciful things I write about.......lol. You however, do have all the time in your life to take in the sights that I describe, and I urge you to mull the flavors of each write upon your pallette to discern each tangy tart flavor until your soul is satisfied. As of the gentleman he is usually here unless he is gone.....lol. Take care.
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I seem to be me then again sometimes I wonder who I will be when I get younger. I love the poem there and I very "much appreciate" you letting me take my time thumbing through them.
Very gentlemanly of ya there buckO.....
Dove -
Thank you DeeCrepit for the lovely view on this write. I had parralled the thoughts within in this write to those you expressed and thought that the mid-evil hint provided a great modem for thought transport. I am also glad that you enjoyed yourself with this write. You where correct in your assumptions on the intent. Take care.
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Reading this poem turned out to be quite a treat!
Oh Thy Noble Brow has another level of meaning as well as that of personal experience, for the universality of "People are not always what they seem" is quite widely accepted as true. That is what the first two lines tell me. Lines three and four indicate what we must do to keep the "exalted ones" happy. There is little doubt of distance here in lines five and six and instances of self-centered behaviour, like "Let them eat cake" Marie Antoinette was reputed to have said when told the Poor had no bread. (food) The ending describes selfishness and disdain for others as if the "peasants" were of no importance whatsoever.
Taking the content above the personal gives a clear indication of the dynamics of many instances of what may be called a "caste system." As the gap between rich and poor increases, this will approach the historical values of mediaeval monarchy, with the nobility having all the privileges and the serfs having none at all.
It is disconcerting to see it happening in our own experience today...for it does. Such social levels have existed through history, in the attitude of the rich today looking down on those who must work for a living. Their extravagance came to them through the efforts of others who must count pennies twice before using them.
Again, this probably was not the intent of this powerful poem, but because of associative reading, ripples of its meaning can spread far, and thus we know it is not an ordinary poem. Not even close!
Thank you for inspiring me to look at what you have written. I was lucky to find this one perhaps? One thing comes clear, sometimes hidden benefits come from unhappy sources. --Dee
Edited on Sep 09, 7:15 p.m. because 'spacing'. -
Hey man I got my punctuator back to working and placed a few dots and slashes here and there on this write....lol.
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Thank you for the lovely critique Nicolette. I can earnestly say that classical'ness doth truly flow freely through me.....lol. History is one of my favorite subjects to learn about. I too thought that the classical approach to appeal to the lower class from a lower class writers standpoint lent a feel all of its own to this write. I was really delighted when you mentioned the statement. I thank you for the applause and wish you the best. Take care.
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Fair to the masses!
"From this vantage point many faces shine" by reading this poem that is indeed "fair to the masses"! It has a classical feel about it...like the distance of the noble class - and thereby adding to the feeling of yearning from a distance. The lack of punctuation does not bother me - to me it adds to the flow! Ah, this is a fair report!
Nicolette
Edited on Sep 03, 5:06 p.m. because ''. -
YOu have me wondering when you questioned my earnest replies. I [[still like ya though......lol. Only a little, but its the good part of little, right down through the middle..........of my big toe......lol]]] Oh you sweet talker you! LMAO
Yes HammeR i was teasing and i do know you are sincere as am i in thanking you for sharing
take care eh
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You are correct macandrew, my punctuator was broken upon the completion of this write and the lines fell into dissaray. I know it is only an excuse and that everyone has one. I will try in the weeks to come to tidy this up a bit so that it reads a little better. I appreciate your comment and shall try to do better in the near future. Take care.
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Thank you for your kind comment,....errr, just kidding Galfalfa. You are correct about me using it to start most every reply that I write to someone. I truly mean that I appreciate that person taking the time to read through what I wrote and if I dont say it then how will they know?
Now on to the meat of the reply, I am not looking for anyone other than friends to share my mirth with. I am married and have been for about 14 years and every once in a while I will massage her feet if she has been extra good, and she gets a free dinner most every day......lol. Now I do hope you are serious when you say that you appreciate me sharing this write with you??? YOu have me wondering when you questioned my earnest replies. I still like ya though......lol. Only a little, but its the good part of little, right down through the middle..........of my big toe......lol
Your comment was "much appreciated" ( I used much ). Take care and may you always find merriment in whatever you are partaking of. -
good
I found this to be very interesting but think it would be greatly appreciated by the addition of punctuation. As is I found it hard to determine which lines go with which.
A good poem that can only get better.
John -
Ok, before i begin let me say..it's not necessary to say how much you appreciate my comment and to take care - i notice that you use that on everyone. I want something original k? Something you have never used on anyone..and don't finish with..oh thankyou for taking the time to thumb through my write..sheesh! I'll give you a thumb alright
Now..ahem - Yes, it does seem you are yearning for someone HammeR. Want me to help you land her? It's not the big things women notice..it's the small little things that are given for no reason at all. The best things that i hold dear are the simple little gestures and acts of love. But if all else fails...flattery, a free dinner and a foot massage will get you to third base too I appreciate you sharing this and once again thankyou for posting this...take off That's Canadian for take care
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Thank you Huntress for stopping in and reading through this write. I really liked how you worded your comment about "anyone looking"........lol. It is a pleasure to have someone grasp that which you lay before them as you and Queen have done. I appreciate your comment and once again thank you for reading through this. Take care.
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This is a great poem. Your feelings are veiled but easy enough to see, to anyone looking. I love it Huntress
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This write was started a few months back and I have been playing with it for a few days just throwing some words around. I did have someone in mind but I have learned words fail one in a situation such as this, so now I have written it for others to read. I know it shall never reach the one intended so hopefully others can relate, like you have discerned, or just enjoy it. Thanx for the lovely comment and I appreciate the wish. Take care.
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Maybe i am wrong but it sounds like you are wishing someone would give just a minute of their time to you. That you are the one always listening to them. Maybe you have a few thought other than about the person. Fair to the masses, medusa to the private, that line sounds like the person is different in private that only you see. I am usually wrong, i wish you only the best Queen
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