As night begins to end at dawn
Nocturnal life scampers away
The earth stretches its arms and yawns
and gets ready for another day
On grass and leaves the sparkling dew
Shines brilliantly ere it parts
Advances the time to bid adieu
When with sunrise bright day will start
Birds serenade the blushing sky
Sing to the glory of the sun
Their sweet notes of praise rising high
Ecstatic that the day's begun
The bush is alive, beasts awake
Birds, feathers aflutter fly high
All head to waterhole or lake
As the sun travels in the sky
Glossy starlings closely huddle
Their blue green wings shine dazzlingly
happily splash in a puddle
drinking together merrily
A fork tailed drongo likes to stay
In a lonely Morning Glory
A grey lowrie calls 'go away'
High up from a Syringa tree
Above the road on a wire high
A lilac breasted roller swings
Marshall Eagles take to the sky
Gliding with their enormous wings
Secretary birds look displeased
An expression they practice well
And guinea fowls are ill at ease
Some danger in the air they smell
A blue heron stands immobile
While crowned cranes dance amorously
Hornbills amble in their own style
And an ostrich runs awkwardly
Candelabra raises its arms
Perhaps to God it quietly prays
Asking to keep all life from harm
A prayer it repeats each day
Silent witness through centuries
The gigantic Baobab stands
Caressed and soothed by the breeze
gently smiles at this ancient land
The broad armed acacia sways
As elephants rip off its bark
Some trees they will viciously slay
Leaving others quite bare and stark
The giraffes munch leaves off the trees
Kudu, Zebras and Sable feed
Wildebeest herd eat all they please
Nature's provided for all needs
The bush seems serene and peaceful
Tranquility hangs in the air
The lion lazes, his stomach's full
The leopard's resting in his lair
But in a moment tides may turn
Scents of danger may float on air
Lessons in caution they all learn
Sometimes escaping by a hair
Predators are not their worst foe
For they kill only as they need
Hunters with their guns are the woe
Killing for pleasure and for greed
A stately bushbuck on a stroll
Saunters beside his pretty hind
Stops to drink at a waterhole
Unaware death waits in a blind.
Author notes
a morning in the bush is southern africa.
Written August 27th, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 41 of 41
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Wonderfully written! You go through so many details, attracting us, luring us into this silent world of peace..we are atteched, longing to go and see the birds, the wildlife..and then...
BOOM!!!
Time to learn a lesson...and a great one at that.
Another great poem, and thanks for entering it Pari
Princess -
OH MY GOSH your words are like a paint brush ./... u keep amazing me with your talent ... i cant give all three trophies!
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I liked the flow in this poem....congratz!
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Amazing! I absolutly love it. The flow was amazing. The message was grand. This piece is so terribly true. Keep up the good work. There are not even words to describe how it made me feel. Blessed be.
† Kristen † -
Just browsing through, and I saw yours. It's a great write. Not even words can describe it, its that good.
I like it, keep it up.
->Kristen<- -
WOW......I love it. Thanks for entering my contest & I wish you the best of luck. La x
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i think this idea has some potential. there are a lot of forced grammatical inversions, which are tough to get around when working with strict rhyme, but i feel they are always worth getting around whenever possible. the idea behind this piece is excellent enough to take whatever time it takes to work out all metrical hiccups and make the language flow as naturally as possible while still sticking to the general iambic tetrameter you're employing most of the way through the poem.
it takes a lot of time to analyze a poem all the way through, so i'll just look at one stanza:
Above the road on a wire high
-- syntactic inversion used to effect rhyme -- normally the
-- adjective comes before the the noun, "high wire". also,
-- "wire high" doesn't flow in the same way as "roller swings"
-- (it's metrical counterpart in the next line)
A lilac breasted roller swings
-- solid iambic tetrameter -- this line flows very well
Marshall Eagles take to the sky
-- has a nice flow to it -- the firsst three feet are metrical
-- inversions from the iambic tetrameter, making this line a
-- compatible trochaic tetrameter with an inverted closing
-- closing foot
Gliding with their enormous wings
-- again, nice flow. metrical inversion on the first two feet
-- is well employed to vary the tetrameter without going so
-- far away from the scheme that it ceases to flow. the only
-- line in this stanza that really should be reworked is the
-- first line.
anyway, some thoughts for you. hope they seem useful to you.
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Pari,
When can I come to visit you? I want to see these birds!!! so many beautiful birds that I will never see where I am now. I can't believe it. I don't even have a book that I can look these up in. Thank goodness for the internet!! I'm going to look them up right away. This is so beautiful, thanks for this wonderful write.
Cheryl
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This is a beautiful poem which I liked a lot It was rather long but filled with natural beauty
Thanks for commenting on my poem and keep writing
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you knew i would love this poem. astounding in image and message. i deplore hunting. the nature scene that your words paint is just amazing. and the end is heart breaking. all too often true. you have touched on one of my most steadfast convictions. the rights of simply living for all creatures. wonderful. i truly love this piece.
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a death it should not have had to face says it all.
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Well done Pari!! You drew the savanah beautifully, a bit more peaceful than it is for them maybe but beautiful none the less. Balance, harmony as it is in nature. Life and death, that powerful play played by the rules of only what is needed. A life for a life.. barring unusual circumstance, but then even the greatest of disasters has its purpose. All of this though.. pales against the gun.. the gun that takes with no respect no thought. Poachers. Collecting what is demanded half a world away for nothing more than a potion, a token.. while an animal once proud.. one regal is reduced to some horror by a death it should not have had to face....
~~Lisa -
this is truly outstanding...it is written with stunning imagery and great compassion for natures children.
AN amazing peace, simply beautiful.
Sam
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Moving
The amount of descriptive words you used in your pem was amazing. I am so impressed by how great a job you did. Please continue to write because you always do it so well! Great job! -
BRAVO, Pari! Beautiful & Powerful
Pari,
Oh is this ever breath taking. I love it, I truly do. I cannot get over this. Your words... they tear at my heart. Your words ring true as man uses weapons to destroy our beautiful creatures merely for sport. Oh sad is that. You reminded me of Africam so much. You know how much I want to see a leopard? Ohhhh.... so badly! I could picture everything, Pari. Thank you for sharing this. I think everyone should read it and realize the truth to what was said. Love you so very much.
What comes from the heart, goes to the heart.
With love,
Kalen -
Awsome poem! I want to go in the bush, it sounds really cool, and there is lots of Nature, though, knowing me, I would probaly get lost. This poem is lovely and so descriptive! Thanks for sharing it, your a great poet
pinkwhite xxx -
Wow! This leaves me feeling stunned. I love poetry on nature but I have never seen a piece so intense with imagery and information as you have done here. This is incredible. I love your background choice as well. Nicely done for certain!
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the brutality and beauty of nature captured so eloquently and well.. the whole of life mirrored so beautifully here in this lyrical image filled poem which left me feeling kind of sad at the hostility of hunting and the devastation of entire species..
i am glad i found your poetry ... am off on a journey of discovery to read more ~ I hope there is not a hunter in wait
~ i feel so invited in having read your author page
thank you for sharing this wonderful poem
elaine
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Pari -
I have finally made it. I decided I needed to just make time to sit and read this through and I am delighted that I have. I had anidea where this was going, it was almost too pretty and then reality struck.
it was well constructed and I am truly glad I made the time for this.
Susan -
Oh, Pari, I do love this descriptive poem full of images, I will most likely never experience physically, but in my minds eye it is a magical place..the bush. I love the balance of nature in your poetic words, and then cringe at the unnatural way man tips that balance at the end of it all. I do know of Blue Herons, we have them here, and starlings, I think are everywhere, and sadly the blind, where the hunter sits with weapon.. blind to empathy. Why can't man STOP KILLING? (When you think of it, some of the biggest animals are vegetarian. Having the intellegence to choose, man could maintain a healthy body, and a peaceful soul with such a diet. Of course then, there is the ego-maniac who wants to mount a head on his wall
) Wonderful poem that awakened me to the bush. I love the background. Diane
Edited on Aug 30, 12:25 because ''. -
This was a beautiful poem with wonderful imagery. I could see the birds fly through the air and see the lions lazing about. I love all animal life and would love more than to see a real safari. But I would take a camera not a gun because I think a picture would do me much better than the hide. I remember being in a store once and they had a mink blanket and I felt it and for a brief second fell in love until I pictured where the blanket came from and I don't think that was what God intended for us to do with his creatures. I think he meant for us to enjoy their lives. I would much rather enjoy an animal that can cuddle and be soft in my lap alive. These pictures along the side are gorgeous too!
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This poem is an ornithologist's and a wild life enthusiast's delight. Each species of bird, animal and flora have their unique characteristics and needs yet, in the ecosystem of a swamp, forest or a pond, the symbiotic relationship between them becomes pronounced.
Krishna -
a picture of the candelabra www.forestryimages.org/browse/detail.cfm?imgnum=4320089
and blue heron
www.forestryimages.org/browse/detail.cfm?imgnum=4320021 -
we have an environment page and a wildlife page I guess i could put it there
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You have put so much thought into this Pari, and as a result you have created a beautiful poem, packed full of interesting details about ‘life in the bush’.
I never realised there was a bird called a Drongo… I thought drongo was just a made up Australian word for someone who was a bit of an idiot!
And a Candelabra… I take it that is a tree and not a fancy crystal light fitting?
This is so full of information and such beautiful description Pari… I feel as though I have just been taken on my first real safari!
~ Louise ..xx
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Dear Pari,
This is a real "safari poem" with so much detailed naming of species (although you missed my favourite rhinos and hippos?). You create a vivid image of dawn in the african bush and savannah and the picturesque border appropriately compliments your words. If you should decide to post this to PEACECHAIN and start a section calling for the preservation of wildlife
(and we all wish those hunters would shoot with their cameras but not their guns) I would be happy to send you "Our Vanishing Friends" which I wrote some time ago about the slaughter of elephants for their ivory.
You have written well, my favourite, and I applaud your poem.
Love and hugs, XXX Hugh. -
this is a lovely piece of writing which is made even better by the great background. well done and thank you for sharing
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wonderful
this was really kool i thought as if i was in the bush right there with u. where did u get the idea from, the discovery channel or could it possibly be life experience? -
Wow, this is really a long poem. But it was worth reading it all. Very nice. I like the last two stanzas:
"Predators are not their worst foe
For they kill only as they need
Hunters with their guns are the woe
Killing for pleasure and for greed
A stately bushbuck on a stroll
Saunters beside his pretty hind
Stops to drink at a waterhole
Unaware death waits in a blind."
They highlight the thing. And the need for conservation.
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Yes, your descriptions are lovely. I do have to admit that I had trouble hanging on till the end, but it was worth the read once I got there. You've a couple spots where your meter if off, but that's only a problem if you care that you're meter's off, if you know what I mean. I personally do not LOL. So, good write, and well done, and all that rot. Cheers!
Much respect,
Sarah
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My thoughts were that you had a long detailed description of a tranquil scene with animals and then two stanzas at the end hinting of danger lurking from humans. An alternate way of telling of this danger would be to describe hunters actually killing an animal and the animals reacting. In other words, I'm not entirely satisfied with the resolution. The animal desciptions were clear and nicely balanced and the poem reads well.
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Again a stunning poem, full of color and imagery!
You really take the readers to an exotic place with your words.
A very enjoyable trip to a place that I can imagine how beutiful is.
Kisses and love,
Mari
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I liked the descriptions of the swamp a lot and I like the background that's pretty cool too, some of the rhymes seemed a little forced, but I have a feeling if I went back through and read it out loud they wouldn't. It reminds me of when I went to Africa, or when I went to south America a lot, but espescially Africa because we saw all kinds of animals when we want on safari. Anyways good piece, it's nice to see something written about nature and animals instead of another poem about love or killing some else, or yourself, that's what i think I like the most about this
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wicked
I agree this is a very long piece , this isn't a bad thing though but it took me a while to get into it but once I did I totally loved this .
""A blue heron stands immobile
While crowned cranes dance amorously
Hornbills amble in their own style
And an ostrich runs awkwardly""
that was what really brought me into this poem and made me keep reading great job
Luv April M
Blessed be
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Well Done
This was a long write but I enjoyed reading it. You did a wonderful job with this. It was very visual and I like that. I could picture seeing it all. You have my praise and my applause for this piece. Alexis -
Well you have wrote the PERFECT POEM .. did you do a dance? Jump up and sing? I am still begging you to sing ha ha I find it is a glorious release (so what if animals drop dead and children cover their ears)This is one I hope you post On our PEACE CHAIN FORUM.. It is a truly deserving write, so bold and strong much like I expect Africa to be.. "
" Candelabra raises its arms
Perhaps to God it quietly prays
Asking to keep all life from harm
A prayer it repeats each day" this part reminded me of you I see you doing this daily my friend, Take Care, Be Safe, Catressa
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Very pretty. That's about all I got from it. It reminds me too much of the poetry I shied away from in school
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mm that was very good you have alot of talent and it is true that animals are ofter uselessly hunted and it is very imature of the hunters to not eat the meat off the animals the hunt or at least use their hides for clothing that was a very good write
Andrew -
The imagery in your words throughout this poem was powerful. This actually made me think of the Discovery channel for some reason. Your rhyming and meter were superb and consistent. I'm starting to become jealous of your talent <.<; And also.. I love the background. Hippos! hehe..
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Exceptional Nature Write
This is one of the most brilliant nature writes I have ever set eyes upon, you imagery is so very, very vivid, its just as if watching a Nature Documentary of African Wildlife, your words give your reader insight through your own eyes of what a new day brings, the early morning and the delights that come from making the effort to be there at sunrise, to watch such a wonderful spectacular beginning to a new day. You have put so much into your poem, so much is happening in your poem that is visual. I LOVE THIS! its ACE! hugs ~Katie~
Edited on Aug 28, 2:08 because ''. -
Good Poem
This piece is long. Very, very long. Not that there is anything wrong with having a poem of great lenth. Look at the Odessy or the Divine Comendy, for example. I actually did like it, however. It felt as though I was walking through Australia or Africa, or a really large zoo. But they don't allow hunting in zoos, so that sort of rules out the las option. I did enjoy reading this piece, you are very talneted.
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