another long hard day has passed; she heaves a sigh
before so much was born again, so much was lost
slivers of moonlight shift across an empty room
intricate shadows phase and fold on mind and wall
nothing but silence penetrates this steady gloom
try to tell her of all the peace that seeks her heart
hardly seeming to hear she turns to face the dark
eventually she softly dreams on drying tears
Author notes
Written August 27th, 2004
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Great!
It seems as if the person doesn't want peace while reading the last 3 lines..... or it could be that they can't make up their mind with the title coming into play and all.....anyway great write.....
nk ma -
Just surfing by, but I had to stop and say great job!!!!
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The thing I enjoy about reading your poetry, is that my vocabulary is increasing. Not that it was low before
, it's just increasing even more. The line I liked the most was the last line. Some people kill poetry by having the last line so, bleak. But you ended it well, and summed it all up. Nice write 
, thanks for sharing.
>>Kami<< -
Often an acrostic will be simply played out, with too much attention on relating directly the content of the poem with the word that is spelled out. I think the true beauty of the acrostic is to hinge the word on the edge with such a leap of a connection that it cause the reader to look for those layers...and then backs it up with content.
"much was born again, so much was lost" this has the heart and soul of a poet. -
Great!
It's an acrostic? oooo. Absinthe. Hehe, only found out from reading another comment. It's a beautiful poem that conveys a detailed image. I could see the snapshot of the woman in my eyes. My favorite line was "shadows phase and fold on mind and wall" because the wording makes it special and otherworldly. -
..this is probably the best acrostic poem I've seen. Usually I sort of disregard it.. it seems more like a gradeschool excersize than a poem. But wow! This is poetry. I didn't even notice the acrostic part of it until after reading.. it's like a little hidden code - kind of metaphoric
it's a beautiful piece
~Scarlet -
A dark tribute, I liked it a lot- wonderful acrostic I liked it a lot, a wonderful tribute Keep writing
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Another very well written acrostic. Yes, it is kind of dark but the end brought some light to it
And I guess we all need to face the dark side of life in order to fully appreciate the light!
Hugs,
Mari
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Very nice. Short, sweet, and the ending was superb!
You write so well!
Must...read...others...
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Oh yea... very nice :-)
I especially like;
"slivers of moonlight shift across an empty room
intricate shadows phase and fold on mind and wall"
This is excellent !
Enjoyed,
~ Wendy -
Yes, yes, beautiful indeed. Well-spoken of the hidden facets of women, I say. You see too much (and you know what that means).
Much respect,
Sarah
PS I swear at some point I'll find something worth criticism. Really. And then you'll see my comments aren't all just arbitrary words of a poor point whore.
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*glee!!!*
Edited on Aug 27, 9:24 p.m. because ''. -
I love it. There are two sides to everybody I think. The shadowed side just as important as the side in the light.
Absinthe
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whew! i was worried you might not like it.
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Well that was certainly not uplifting. LOL! But so very true it is.
. Thank you very much for so beautiful an acrostic.
Absinthe
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