Another Mirror
Another mirror broke by me
Broke by a fragile touch
Shattering in front of me
Images turning to dust
Single tears slide down my cheek
Burning holes so deep
The pain increasing gradually
Until beginning to decease
But always will there be a mirror
One to show my wrongs
One to point out my imperfections
To take me oh so down
But still it lays there broken
Shattered upon the ground
Each piece with its own reflection
The horrible reflections of pain
Like deceiving pictures
Those are always shown to me
Each one taking a small hit
Eating away my security
All the emotion I try to hide
Slowly seep away
This all started with that mirror
One broke by my fragile touch
One that points out my imperfections
One that eats away my heart
Author notes
I know this isnt to good. I just wrote what came to mind. First off, there was some contest I saw about a mirror awhile ago. And had certain sayings that inspired me to write this. Then just thinking about how much I hate mirrors. I hate looking in them, I hate what I see. I always get so down. So..yah. I just felt like getting my emotion out in this. I know it probably sucks. But be nice. This is only my second poem written... ;-; Oh yah. And please dont correct mistakes for me. If I see them, I'll fix them. This is more of a personal poem than anything. I feel so eatten up, or even feel like my self conscience mind is taken away. Ah... Yah.. Well ...just be nice please..
Written August 27th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
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Hehe thank you for the comment. ^^ I love when Ig et comments on the poems I do have on here, since I normally dont write them, more of a story person. =/ dont think I write good poetry. Only when something comes to me I guess. Can't ever just sit and write like most of my friends. ^^ Thank you for the comment again, and I hope to go back and fix this poem up, I think I could make it more..graphic, show mroe than tell as I did. Thank you again..
-MisFitAmerica.- -
I really liked this poem! it was really graphic and, whats the word.... sensual? I dunno, but I really liked it, gr8 jarb!
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i really enjoyed this piece! mirrors suck! always pointing out imperfections...anywho i reallllly liked this.!! it flowed well and it all goes together. w00t
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this was very good.... with emotion the best kinda poems (in my opininon lol)........... i can relate to this big time i hate mirriors it like there here on earth for one pupose and that is to point out ur imperfections and thats all.....ohhh and tell ppl that r pretty that they r so they can bring us ugly ppl down srry im not getting into that lol.......... but all in all this was a really good poem as again i love emotion and u show it well in this poem.......
hillary* -
I think that you did a great job writing this piece, even if you do say it was rushed. I especially liked the flow of this piece. I think that you did a great job with your emotions, and the description of all the things that were shattering. Great job!
Crissy -
ALLY ::HUGS:: i know damn all those fuckin mirrors!!!! yea your not the only self concious one...but that was beautiful! especially only being your second one!! ::applauds:: yea i've got some poems that i wont post on here because they're like so personal and there are people i know on here and i dont want them reading it...such as erik, or jess, or what ever...lol but that was a great poem!!
OMG! school is almost starting!!! on monday! i'm gonna be so scared and alone erik is like my only friend and we're not in any classes together!
OMG! i swear tommy was going to rape me yesterday! ok we were in my room and i was playing sims and he was laying on my bed under the covers and he was like "come and lay and cuddle with me rachel." and i'm like " no i'm trying to fix my guy on here." and then he comes over and like sits on me and asked me who my first kiss was and i said "i'm still working on that." (erik says if i havent kissed anyone by christmas he will...lol)( ew i'm not sure why any one would want to kiss me but sure...) and he's like "well i'm here for your kissing needs." and he kissed my hand and then the lower part of my arm and then my arm a little higher up and i was like "Hey! i need to use the phone!" and ran out of my room and called erik...lol but i was scared!!!!
We HAVE to get together!!! i miss you!
luves
PoTTeR -
First off, thanks for your comment on my poem! It's greatly appreciated! I'm more of a hip hop guy myself. Haha. Now, onto yours. I'm gonna start by saying this has a good structure to it. Makes it easy to read. I like how there's some rhyme and some free verse mixed in. Good change of pace. I will say that some things are kind of vague. What are your "imperfections" that you speak of? What kind of "pain," are you trying to show. Etc., etc. "SHOW," don't "TELL." If that makes sense. Other than that, good job on this one. Thanks for sharing and til next time...
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