I catch my breath
Just hearing your voice
Thinking of you
Is cause for rejoice
My heart skips a beat
When you say my name
Now that you’re in my life
I’ll never be the same
The days are much brighter
And so full of cheer
The reason for this
Is really quite clear
You've entered my life
And you’ve touched my soul
Such a wonderful feeling
You make me feel whole
Author notes
Written August 26th, 2004
In a list
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Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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love? the greatest feeling ever while it last
what a bottomless pitt when it's lost -
I agree with Rubee! I hope you hang onto these feelings and I hope they never try to leave you. Thanks for sharing! Beautifully put. Straight to the point.
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this is a great poem i know you heard that a lot or read that a lot but ,i really ,really ,liked this poem and enjoyed reading this poem as i do many other poems on this website or an author like edgar allen poe and other poetry writers i enjoy reading not a lot but most or some of the time .i read a lot of poems off this website but lately i havent read any bother poems other than this website but other than that i loved reading this poem and thanks for sharing this poem with me and the others on allpoety.com . nicely done! excellent work! great work!! keep it up. i hope you write many more poems like this one.
~~charismange98~~~ -
Anna, this is a great poem. I love everything about it just the way it is and wouldn't change another thing about it. You did a wonderful job on this one.
Damon D. Brewer -
It's great to see a "happy" piece from you Anna
It truly helps when we have loving and supportive people in our lives.. just look what a difference it makes!!!!! It's sure made a difference in you A wonderful uplifting write... may these happy feelings continue for a VERYYYYY long time
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My thoughts
Anna, in your continuation perhaps you can use multi syllable rhymers. For metre' most of it's 5 beats - use that - I'm catching, And "thinking", "Now you're", "I'll not be the same", "Days are much brighter", "wonderful" can = great Just my thoughts Anna since you asked -
Nice sentiment here Anna. I'm generally not into "constructive criticism" but, since you IMed me to ask for my opinion... I think the line "I’ll never be the same" takes a bit of a quick tongue to keep the rhythm the same as the rest of the piece. You might think about using the word "not" instead of "never", perhaps?
Beyond that, you could trim a word here and there if you wanted to on other lines that are a bit long such as dropping the word "that" from "Now that you're in my life" but it reads just fine as it is (and most people are not nearly as anal as I am!)
It's nice to see you back writing again...especially when you are writing such positive poetry, my friend!
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Maureen, Yes you are right, that sounds so much better!!! Thank you. I will be by soon to read your work. It has been a while.
Hugs,
Anna -
Hi Anna,
I enjoyed reading this poem. I have only one suggestion...the reason foritthis is really quite clear.
Very nicely done!
<3 Maureen
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Unfinished? I think it's great. This is exactly how I feel about my wife Sharon. She gave me life again, merged me off the dead end track I was on. I love the feel of this because I can truly relate.
Awesome write.
Thank you for sharing it.
Rodney
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