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Holy Communion




Dance me to a wake ‘tween two wafting gentled palms
Moving must to lithesome sheets of subtle suede.
Still motions most evolving, turn the whorl upon thy feet,
As strong arms wrest long worried ways aweigh.
Breast strokes float to curtsies and then bow
As morning glories meet Amazing Grace.

~*~

Author notes

Sorry guys - I missed my mark by a mile here.  If it helps, think of it as a stumbling witness to early morning services at the beach.
Written August 24th, 2004

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Comments


  • dp robertson
    August 25, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Am I in the olympics or in love? Sensual writing

    David


  • hugh wyles silver member
    August 25, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Jane,
    Well, I could be persuaded to attend your church (once anyway)which sounds a lot more exciting that most. I take it that this was a Palm Sunday service that you attended clad in sheets of suede and flip-flops?
    Now the fifth line has me buggered. Is there a typo, a grammatical error or a deliberate confusillation here? Just when I thought I was doing so well on the comprehension scale ('bout 5 out of 10).
    Great word utilization and splashes of alliteration and I can see how you've been so busy struggling to put this together that you just don't have time to read or comment on my latest languorous literary labours. I applaud all but the fifth line.
    Love and hugs, XXX Hugh.
    Edited on Aug 25, 4:51 because 'Lost my grass tutu somewhere!'.


  • pastiche
    August 24, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Rich as a cream cake!

    Fabulous use of the language! Can be read on so many levels, according to change of emphasis within a line. It's a totally different poem when read aloud!
    Perfectly delectable and quite, quite original!
    Best,
    p