Starved for attention
I scream, "Wolf!"
But no one comes running.
Lonely and alone I cry
afraid in the night
no one extends a hand to comfort me
I'm back to just me again.
Hello, self-reliance, my old friend.
The tools that once worked to fix this broken girl
now lay in scraps on the cellar floor
Promiscuous
Attention-craving
Workaholic
Sexaholic
Alcoholic
Doesn't work for me now
Now that I've glimpsed peace
and sun-filled skies
These showers aren't welcome here anymore.
But my raincoat's fulla holes
No umbrella in sight
Whatever do I resort to
To make things turn out right?
Suicide won't work; we've been down that road before
Popping pills and drinking gin
and writhing on the floor.
I'm so used to swallowing pain
you'd think I like the taste
So used to being slapped by life
you'd see bruises on my face.
But these scars no one can see
And they'd care not if they could
For I'm the girl the world just couldn't love
and wouldn't if they could.
Author notes
Yup, was feeling terribly sorry for myself that night. Reading it now as I type it I think how lucky I am that I DO have people who love me. But sometimes not the people we want...
Written August 23rd, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Good job. But not exactly what I was looking for.
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I liked this very much, great use of descriptive words. I felt the flow was lost a little with your lack of punctuation and random capitalization, I found myself having to go back and re-read to see where the lines ended. But this was beautifully written and your words are eloquent and emotion filled. I particularly liked:
"Hello, self-reliance, my old friend.
The tools that once worked to fix this broken girl
now lay in scraps on the cellar floor"
Great imagery and portrayal of depression, this would help a lot of people feel less alone, I certainly saw myself portrayed within your words. Great work thanks for entering. -
Thanks for the comment... yes, I realize that (about the coulds), but haven't come up with anything different.
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This was really good. I have not seem a poem of late in this 'genre' that was written this well.
The only problem I have with it, really, is using 'could' twice at the end of lines 32 & 34. I would find a substitute for one... -
thank you for the wonderful response to my poem! but actually i'm sorry you can relate so well! like i said in another response, i wouldnt wish these feelings on anyone. thank god for me they are fleeting, feelings of self pity... i hope they are fleeting for you as well and that you have someone who loves you!
thanks for the comments.... you make me curious to go check out your work now!
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omg i could relate to this so deeply i felt as if i wrote it myself. I love these lines:
Hello, self-reliance, my old friend.
The tools that once worked to fix this broken girl
now lay in scraps on the cellar floor
i feel like that a lot as if whatever mechanisms i used to use to save myself have disintegrated and i'm left broken and useless and un-repairable.
This ending was just perfect:
I'm so used to swallowing pain
you'd think I like the taste
So used to being slapped by life
you'd see bruises on my face.
But these scars no one can see
And they'd care not if they could
For I'm the girl the world just couldn't love
and wouldn't if they could.
The feeling of being unloved or unlovable. All the descriptions of the girl you feel you are promiscuous, workaholic, attention craving etc. are everything i feel i am as well.
Anyway great job!!
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i raelly liked the message here- some lines, such as 'Lonely and alone I cry' didn't sit well with me, but this was overall a unique, lovely piece.
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It always makes me sad when other people can relate to such a dark, sad poem. I wouldn't wish these feelings on anyone. But I guess there is comfort in knowing you're not alone.
Thanks for the comment!
love and happiness to you
Teri -
This poem I can relate to quite well, and I loved the imagery you gave in it. The last two lines are the ones I related to the most. Great write, keep it up.
X_Sleep1ng_Beauty_X
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beautifully sad
This is a powerfully sad poem with great imagery. I loved these lines and wonder why I have never though of them. (I'm so used to swallowing pain
you'd think I like the taste) Thank you for sharing this write
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aw thank you very much! i'm so flattered! i will return the favor tomorrow to all who applauded me once i get more applause back LOL
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This is such a great poem, so dark and so beatiful. I loved your imagery. I espicially liked the lines:
"For I'm the girl the world just couldn't love
and wouldn't if they could."
it was a very powerful piece, such a great write. Keep em coming.
You have my applause
Forever Dent -
Wow, I have to say I'm honored that ARTIS would make a comment on a poem of mine! You are my idol as far as writing goes. I think you are one of the best on this site - if not THE best. So thank you for commenting on my work!
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Great poem, even though it was a little dark. Great imagery used. Very powerful piece of work the way that you wrote it. Well done!
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when love is looked at in the mirror it reads evol and so to often does the soul who looks down on themselves at an angle the mirror reflects badly on, but it seems you have reversed that image and are seeing the true reflection of what you can be....and I love you for that, if that counts for something then add it to the rest....lol..Artis
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I love this poem! You did a great job with it! It was full of imagery...and it was very powerful! This was AWESOME!
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Um...I'm just gonna start off by saying this is cliche in it's subject matter, but not cliche in the content, if that makes any sense. Your words are quite simple and makes it very easy to read and understand. (It seems this site is filled with simple minds who holds a dictionary while reading poems. Hah) So that's good. Look forward to reading more. Thanks for sharing. Til next time...
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good
Okay, I LOVED this one! I mean...wow! I loved the last part especially
"I'm so used to swallowing pain
you'd think I like the taste
So used to being slapped by life
you'd see bruises on my face.
But these scars no one can see
And they'd care not if they could
For I'm the girl the world just couldn't love
and wouldn't if they could."
It's so well written, it flows so nicely, and I can really relate....great poem....cheers! -
I really liked it
This was very awesome......WOW -
ahh..interesting poem..i'd rather not to comment so long..thanks for the wonderful read.
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blushes wow... thank you for the wonderful comments! that made my night!
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OMG!! I'm speechless! It's absolutly wonderful, "I'm so used to swallowing pain
you'd think I like the taste
So used to be slapped by life
you'd see bruises on my face."
That's so wonderfully put, what we all feel and don't know how to say it, great job!
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good write really enjoyed it, even though it was very dark, hope you feel better now though@
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EMPATHYAWARD
Wonderful rave on life ..life is a boxer that beats up us all yet it can also be kind we just have to persevere till that moment..I love your poem it reflects the damage WE all suffer
Edited on Aug 23, 8:08 p.m. because ''.
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7 old applause
