Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

terrible drunk

Terrible
Just swallow
It’ll be ok
When its over
Talk laughing
Hug me
It’ll be ok
When it’s gone
Don’t move, feet numb
Leg bleeding, bottle-cap shapes
It’ll be ok
When I drink
More sick-cheap
Disgusting
Let me touch you
I wont ask
You don’t care
I bleed emotion
It’ll be ok
When you leave:
Me drunk-tired
Caress my hand
Make this
Worth something real
Tell me
It’ll be ok
When it’s all over…

Author notes

I wrote this several months ago. Things have changed greatly since this time... I find it interesting how I captured the feeling well enough that I can remember it...
Written August 22nd, 2004

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • Blood Talon
    August 25, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Dude, I love this poem. I dunno why, I think it's because of the little repitition you had going on there. Yeah! I really like it, you wrote it so well, that I could feel the bottle caps pressing into my legs. I love this poem so much. *hugs poem*

  • pozo
    August 25, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    A great poem, I feel the part 'I bleed emotion' was the best- great line which was wonderfully worded Keep writing because this was fantastic