the sky should make sense now,
for its pouring down.
rain.
today tomorrow yesterday.
it was too clear..
the stars too bright. intentions obvious enough.
now its cloudy
and the sky… consistently falling.
unlike your verse,
which was consistent, but intentions not…obvious.
your intentions still not obvious.
my heart cloudy like the sky,
making much less… sense.
Author notes
Written August 22nd, 2004
What did you think
Comments
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Interesting form... a little hard to read... but once I did I liked it's message. Good job.
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A good use of wording and also poetic shape, I liked it a lot- a great concrete poem
I liked your use of pathetic fallacy in this poem Keep writing because this was great, thanks for commenting on my poem
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Totally agree with Tears here. Awesome poem. I see...another liker of the rain.
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cool form...nice word usage...good job
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