Near daily I’m reminded of you,
(of how far away you are)
and I wonder why
you never call me anymore…
The last time I saw you,
you were lost to this world—
pupils dilated, pumped full of drugs—
separated from reality
to protect you from yourself…
I’ve heard from you once since then
(you said you’d call back)
and I’m starting to come to terms
with the fact that I may not see you again;
though I hope that’s not true…
However, your dreams seem to have
carried you farther away from me.
I just hope you find peace
wherever it is you end up…
A turn of the tides (so to speak):
I know how much easier it is
to run away from something
than to look it in the eyes
(so turn your back on me
and don’t look back—
I’ll only bring you down)…
There are many names for me,
a “good friend” was never one of them…
But even though our paths diverge,
I hope that sometime in the future
we’ll walk hand-in-hand once more…
Author notes
I miss you Isa...
Written April 5th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
I love this write and I know that I have felt this way before. It really brings back a guilty memory and makes me say the same things. I love how you captured this feeling. You really opened yourself up and its a great write.
-
I love it.Nice job. You truely put your all into this. Don't change anything about it.It's dreamy. K.I.U. (keep it up) please.
~Simply Mizundrtsud~ -
Omg ica, so im not accually calling here (technically) heh, but il writing.... I have wanted to call you everyday. I have cried and cried, you have no idea. Honestly Im not sure why i havnt. there are some things that have upset me, but thats no excuse for me not calling and explainging myself. I want to walk hand in hand with you again and there is no doubt in my mind that we wont. I think i have told you in the past that i want to grow old with you..we'll be two old granies listening to dream theatre in my house.... ok, yeah shit hit the fan here for a while and things have been REALLY shitty for me...being in the hospital, quitting drugs for good this time, trying to stay clean..omg...its hard. And it may be one of the reasons why I havnt called, because I want to stay clean...and as faar as i know you still smoking...so i dont know, its hard for me to explain... but Ica, god i wish you were here so you could hold me.. that souds cheesy, but fuck it, i dont care, I want you back in my life, but i dont want the pot. Thats what it comes down to. Im not telling you to choose at all, im just saying thats why i havnt called. I love you so much, like i said before in my livejournal, our lives seem to be the same a lot of the times, its unexplainable, when im with you i feel like we are the only two people on earth sometimes...i miss you so much. I have prayed for you a lot...i know your not religious, but hey whatever, i am and im going to pray for you..so ha! i dont want to just call you, i want you to run to me and tackle me like you always do, even though you always end up tackleing me to the ground and crush me.... i like it lol.... calling you wont be hard....seeing you will be. My mom keeps pretty good tabs on me right now, so ill have to arange something. I only ask of you that you not smoke pot when i see you. I am in Marijuana Anonomous as well as a program though kaiser for chemical dependancy...it is all my own choice to be doing all this. i only ask for your support and understanding. I love you so much Ica...
-
I miss her too...I haven't heard from her in at least a month, and haven't seen her in almost twice as long. I have no idea what's up with her...
And it's like everything I see or do reminds me of her...I don't know. I miss her so much, but I have no idea how to get her back. I'm not even allowed to call her house anymore.
It hurts...because I considered her my best friend...but what am I supposed to think now...? I don't think I know her anymore, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to know me... -
Actually Ica, I have felt similar for quite sometime. I have wanted to call her so badly but haven't; the last time we spoke she was calm and I was yelling still angry. Honestly, I always felt that she was more grounded than you, leaving us to worry about losing you. I was very glad to see that you found your way back down but it feels more and more that we lost her . . . and I never would have seen it coming. I wanted more than anything to help both of you and in the end I failed on both counts. I had no part in helping you and she is out there lost in space. I miss her.
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
4 old applause
