Oh god,
You’ve got to help me.
It’starting again,
It’s eating me up inside.
I can feel it.
I don’t want to go back,
I don’t want to be that way anymore.
But it’s creeping up on me.
I can feel his sweaty hands around my neck,
His hot breath against my cheek,
Tempting me.
I know the about the lies in his words,
And the truth in them as well.
I’m scared of giving in,
I need someone to show me,
To prove to me it isn’t right.
But I can’t ask,
Oh God,
What do I do??
I have to control him,
I have to fight my own wishes,
Cause they aren’t mine anymore.
They want to hurt me,
To take me back to that place where I’m trapped in myself.
It’s the hardest thing I ever had to do,
To quit,
To start what he warned me against.
I want the assurance he gave me,
But not the torture that had to come first.
not finished
Author notes
thoughts. Can't help myself. so much more to say. as a poem this absolutely sucked, but heh.. for the hope of not feeling alone?
Written August 21st, 2004
What did you think
Comments
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A dozen roses for a job well done
This poem is so good. It sounds to me like either Satan is trying to get you to go back to your old ways or that someone's husband is telling you to do something and if you didn't do it he would batter you. It is sad but good. I can't wait to read the rest.
roxy
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It is easy for people to judge and say, just don't do it--don't fall for his lines, but when you are caught in the middle it is so much more difficult--hopefully you'll find the strentgh to stand up for yourself--I have my fingers crossed.
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that sounds so hopeless... So many of us often feel like the darkness has swallowed us up.. but how many times do we suddenly discover the end was no where near? It's rare that someone actually is completely unable to help themselves, and thank God, I've yet to reach that point. Thank you for your comment.
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when you can no longer help yourself you've lost.
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that is really good great job love always cassie
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This is really good.I hope yu finish soon so I can read more
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