I saw you crying today
I don't think you noticed
Or cared
Your sobbing made me worry
But you never knew that
I was there
If I had gone to you
Would you have smiled
And laughed
Should I pretend with you
Like everything is fine
Not bad
You seem so scared inside
But you're hiding
Like me
We must be kidding ourselves
I was beginning
To believe
But now I stand in the light
And it's true
I see
We're not so different
You know
You and me
But I keep walking away
And you don't notice
Or care
I guess you're still crying
Expecting me
To be there
Author notes
I just wrote this poem from an idea I had...it doesn't reflect me personally, it's just something I wanted to write about. I think it's my first poem that has anything to do with relationships. So, it's a little different. It was originally a free verse, but it kind of bugged me so I changed it a bit and now there's rhyming or assonance. So now you see how me doing free verse turns out...
Written August 21st, 2004
A contest entry
- Sad poems by Godsbabygurl.
300 points, ended November 5, 2004, 41 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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i love this piece - its so deep. i envy your fluency
i loved the lines;
"You seem so scared inside
But you're hiding
Like me"
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Black text? It's green...but that's ok, have it your way. And I did give a crap about your contest, but you seem to want me not to...ok.
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WHAT I MEAN IS I CANNOT READ BLACK TEXT ON BLACK FONT. IT DOESN'T SHOW UP AND I REFUSE TO HIGHLIGHT SO I CAN SEE IT. IT SEEMS OBVIOUS TO ME THAT YOU DON'T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT THIS CONTEST, SO HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY. GET IT?
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What the heck are you talking about? You can't read it? That makes no sense, unless you're legally blind. In that case...my sympathies.
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sorry, i'm not even going to read your entry because i can't read it. thanks for entering.
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lol...don't worry, I never really like free verse anyway. This is a great poem. I really like the struggle of the two parties. I could feel my self going back and forth screaming "go over" and not wanting anything to happen. Anyway, this is a really good poem.
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I love this! Great Write and Good Luck
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I think this is written very well. Sometimes we are in pain and we wish someone would notice, usually someone does notice but is not sure how to approach. You captured this very well.
Queen
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thank you!
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good poem
very good poem, i'm not sure i have ever been able to relate to a problem like this or what not but nonetheless, i enjoyed it! keep up the good work -
Thank you for the comment. I have Where You Want To Be and Tell All Your Friends, and I've heard this song on the radio a couple times recently. It's really awesome. I tried to find out what album it was on, but all I could find on the song were the lyrics, so I assume it's a single that's going to be on their next album.
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i really like this poem and the depth it holds. im not too sure what song you're refering to, what album of TBS is that song from? thank you for entering and good luck <3
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that made me feel it the emotions and i love the set up of it in small stanzas
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Thanks
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this was good. the imagery and flow was really good. i could just feel the emotion. good job.
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Thank you. Your warm comment means a lot. Thanks for the positive feedback. I hope you enjoy(ed) my story
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hmmm... this was a good piece. i started to read your story that you wrote, but then decided to read some of your poetry first. i enjoyed this... i liked the way you wrote this and everything. i don't think i've ever been in a problem like this, but something similar has happened. it was a good piece. i liked the emotion and imagery. keep it up!
crissy
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