You stupid, stupid
fucken bitch,
what the fuck are you doing?
your doing it again.
Look at that face and how pathetic you are,
smash it, smash that fucken face,
that's all it deserves.
Your ugly and vile,
deserving life is one of your
fucked up sickening thoughts.
Yeah go on do it again,
HATE HATE HATE that's
all I see in you,
you have no beauty no fucken
idea.
I see the aggressive 16 yr old bastard
that caused hell for others,
every time your disgusting face looks back at me
in the mirror.
Author notes
You probably won't understand this but that's ok....it's a burst a burst from within. Within someone...
Written August 19th, 2004
A contest entry
- What ever you want to enter. sad, dark, gory, happy, ect.. by illegalfairy.
300 points, ended August 20, 2004, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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hehe, rose patrick thinks you're 16. Ultimate complimate there cheeks..
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wow wow wow this is great u wrote this so well its so powerful a great read...well done hope to b hearing more from you..XXX
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all 16 years old feel this way at one time or another.it is just part of growing up. i know that does not make it feel any better to hear word like that. but in time you will look back on this and more than likly say how could i have thought those things. For I can see from the poem that you write that you are truly a very good person with so much to give this world with your grand poetry . so try to be a little kinder to your self if you can. for to me i see a pretty good person there that I would like to call friend.now to your poem I think that you wrote it quite well the flow of it was realy good I think that in time you will be a very very good poet indeed. I thank you so very much for sharing this poem with us
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wow this is a very powerful poem, I get the feeling maybe this is how someone feels or felt towards you, or made you think they felt. There is so much hate within this piece, and I hope that this hate will turn to love if it hasn't already.
A very thought provoking piece, now we are all wondering what the hidden meaning of this poem is.
Well written
Take care
Elaine
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Very good Flawed Destiny....you almost hit the nail on the head...thankyou for your comment it was well appreciated and your intuition is well tuned.
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painfully angry - i hope writing gave you some peace and insight and whatever it is about ... that the anger and pain get resolved somehow.
powerfully written - leaves me wondering and worried somehow
elaine x
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I'm a little disturbed, but I found it intriguing as well.
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This is well written with true angst and raw emotion. There are several things that come to mind as to the acutal subject matter which is what a good write is all about, always leave them wondering just a little bit. It almost seems to talk of a husband scolding a wife over something that happened with a young boy and herself.
Then, depending on how you read it, it can be about a father yelling at a daughter for a young boy who caused something to happen, perhaps something vile. So many things it could be, and yet does it really matter? The piece stands so well on its own that the authors intent is only to deliver an outstanding piece and that was achieved without a doubt.
Victoria Lin
Edited on Aug 20, 8:16 because 'just because'. -
I think I may understand this a little. Sounds to me like you regret something that happened. Sounds like something terrible happened to you. Good luck to you. I hope you recover. {or whoever this is about}
~*Destiny*~ -
Wow, wow!!! I am sorry that you had to experience such pain, but i really like this write it's very real very true. Great write great job!
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it's all good, the important part is that even though it was a burst you were able to get in on paper (kinda paper) i typicaly am too enraged and shaking to put messed thoughts like these in to coherent words
-pixy -
Cheeks would have been proud. This is one of hers for sure. All that raw emotion and unashamed power that anger can muster. If this poem came directly after one of those insect stories then I would be left wondering, but the break makes up for it. I wont say I understand it, because I'm not sure I do. But what I do understand is how to say, welcome back
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very unique
this is very uniquely written..andi think it relates to alot of the teens and lost souls..how they feel and see them selves..very well written... good luck in the contest.. -
Thankyou so much...I haven't written in ages so I'm thrilled to get such a positive comment....You always know how to make me feel good....glad to hear from you...Dali..
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wow i hope everything is okay, no i dont competely understand it but wow it sure does make me want to read it over and over again. u always seem to reach out and touch your readers with your way of writting and i love that. your unique and quite amazing.
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