“Let’s roll’ was the final cry.
They would not go down easily.
They would not stand idly by.
“Let’s roll’ was the final cry.
They would not allow others to die,
These heroes of flight ninety-three.
“Let’s roll’ was the final cry.
They would not go down easily.
Author notes
Dedicated to Todd Beamer and the Heros of Flight 93 Sept 11 2001
Written August 18th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- September 11th by Feline2001.
400 points, ended September 14, 2004, 33 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Very Well Done!!!! A beautiful Tribute!!!
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these are truly hero's the men and women of flight 93.
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Great job! Finally a tribute to true heros. What bravery they showed and true sacrifice to save others from certain death. They and their families should be forever honored and remembered as the heros they are.
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It makes me proud thinking about Americans who did something they didn't have to, to save the lives of others. The Americans, who on 9/11, gave me than asked of them make me proud to be an American.
~Acadia~ -
They would not allow others to die,
Mot to be cynical but that's quite the ironic statement given the awful war thathas occurred.
But you are right, it was wonderful to see Americans come together.
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I gotta say this is my favorite of all the 9/11 poems I've read so far that have been coming out in droves. THIS one really speaks of the energy and passion of the average American. I just loved it. It was short yet still managed to express such a great deal of energy. Regardless of the sad result, this one made me smile and silently say "You go!"
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Congratulations! Way cool Queen
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i really enjoy the triolet when it's written well like this.. i have yet to master this form myself.
ack so many entries, so little time
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excellent!
Melphleg, my heart catches in my throat and tears come to my eyes every time I think of those brave souls. What they gave us, in exchange for their lives, is immeasurable.
This *IS* a well-written triolet. Thank you for writing it; I enjoyed the read.
Good luck in this contest!
Regards,
Serenem -
I think in a well written triolet, the repetition flows well and is not as noticeable. In this case, my attempt was to use the repetition to show the resolve.
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Hrm. I wasn't aware of the form. My apologies. Even in a specific form, it still feels like too much repetition. Perhaps, as you said, because of the beginning phrase.
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A triolet is an eight line poem with a set rhyme scheme. Line four and line seven are the same as line one, and line eight is the same as line two.
Trilolet lines
line 1 - A
line 2 - B
line 3 - a (rhymes with line 1)
line 4 - A (line 1)
line 5 - a (rhymes with line 1)
line 6 - b (rhymes with line 2)
line 7 - A (line 1)
line 8 - B (line 2)
So it purposely repeats. That's the form of the poem. However I think you criticism of the repeating "They would not" may be valid.
Edited on Aug 18, 10:14 p.m. because ''. -
This almost made me cry
A wonderfully written poem- so powerful, I loved the way in which you wrote this A great poem: keep up the good work because this was amazing
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(Note: I'm going to comment strictly on the poetic form, so please excuse me if I sound detached.)
I think, for this piece, there is a bit too much repetition for so short a poem.
“Let’s roll’ was the final cry. X 3
Also, you have
They would not go down easily. X 2
and the phrase
They would not X 4
And the poem itself is only 8 lines! I think repetition (of a "refrain" or sorts) is an interesting device for grounding a piece, but only when used judiciously. I feel, in this particular poem, that your use is not judicious.
These heroes of flight ninety-three.
~ Also, while the 'rule' is that if a number is 100 or less, it should be written out, in this case, it feels awkward. After all, there is very rarely a place that you'll see a flight number written out, rather than numerically represented. -
oh this is a great tribute to them! after watching all of that news on tv, i never really imagined that it was as big of a deal as it was, until i went to manhattan and seen it for myself. I'm speachless!God Bless U!
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Well Said, My Friend
Ohhh, my Friend...God, what a horrifying day...the lone 'surviving hijacker' took his 'no-landing lessons' not far from here (I'm in OKC)...I sat, stunned...unable to NOT watch it...yet, not wanting to torment my eyes, my Soul with what I was seeing unfold...God Love You, Sir...Wanda
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