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Candy Come and Claim Your Muse (M)

Missing image
by Gregg Rowe

I found a muse, sometime last night
Sleeping beside me, holding me tight
It just doesn't want to seem to go away
Defiantly telling me she's here to stay

Someone please come and claim this muse
My body from fighting, is all bruised
It's not that I don't love this spirit
But she's leaving me quite the irit

She's the most lovable muse in the world
But I am a guy and this muses' a girl
If I were a woman it would be dandy
But I think this muse belongs to Candy

Unless of course I have a sex change
Then to my friends I'd be very strange
Because they would not know what to say
Knowing that my sexuality is truly gay

Candy, come claim your muse -- disrupting my life
But turn me straight, she might become my wife
Because I'm not confused with my identity
Just want my life back -- full of serenity



Author notes

Okay, so I am not very good at humour, but at least I attempted it. Just a light poem, nothing in here should be read too deep, just having fun penning a poem. Gregg
Written August 18th, 2004

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 55 of 55

  • SarahD
    November 25, 2006
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    hehehe

    I really enjoyed this! It was written really well, rhymes perfectly throughout and had an effortless flow as a result! I liked the light hearted way in which it was intended too! Thanks for your wonderful entry and good luck! Blissful Princess


  • candy177
    August 22, 2004
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    Well, prompted by Dean's comment - I happened to look at your author's page (I have been quite absent lately so I hadn't read anything by anyone) - I am glad you're doing alright - just one day at a time! (Wow, first woody since the operation was last month - that's great! hehe) I feel honored not only that you took the time to write an original for the contest, but also that you've added me to your LONG "Spotlight Poets" list! That's so cool! Now, onto your piece - this was just great - absolutely hilarious! I did notice it was featured the other night - and apparently some of the people commenting did not notice my name as contest holder! Oh well...you'd marry my muse if you were straight? WOW, that's impressive! I loved the rhyme here, gave it a very whimsical feel (no, you do not need a sex change, you're fantastic just the way you are!). I absolutely loved this piece!

  • Shahoodeh
    August 19, 2004
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    I liked the poem a lot..i found it really cuuute..then the sex change thing was surprisingly funny

  • Dark Acolyte
    August 19, 2004
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    Hey, you did a really good job, the humor was ok, right when you mentioned the sex change.. btu before i thought it was a very loveable poem and what not.. BUt really great job, you are a wonderful writer.. Keep up the good work

    Steve


  • Meridian
    August 19, 2004
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    Dude, where's my muse?

    LMAO!
    So it was your muse I read about in the paper today
    Hope you're not missing out on too much sleep Gregg, I know what these damn muse types are like. They come at you when you least expect it and especially in the middle of the night and nearly always give you the most inspirational idea when there's no pen or paper in sight.
    A great piece of writing, well done

    ~Samantha


  • duana
    August 19, 2004
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    aw. Another perfect write. You are an example of writing at its very best on here. very nice job! I love the poems that you write.


  • SilentScar
    August 19, 2004
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    Generally, I'm not one for humor... I'm not a very funny person. I do, however, quite enjoy this poem. I wasn't quite sure what to expect... humor... hmmmm... but it was a lovely, light read.

    "Unless of course I have a sex change
    Then to my friends I'd be very strange
    Because they would not know what to say
    Knowing that my sexuality is truly gay"

    That was totally out there; it caught me by surprise! Very funny.
    SilentScar
    (Elizabeth)


  • MagicLady silver member
    August 19, 2004
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    I thought you did a great job with this Gregg!!!!

    Comical, cute, and sooooo YOU! Well, the hummor isn't typical of you, but I like seeing that side of your muse. Must have been that female muse in your bed.

    Cheryl

  • pozo
    August 19, 2004
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    I love it, muses can be a pleasure and a pain- this was funny and well written. Good luck in the contest

  • glahiri
    August 19, 2004
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    Fascinating.
    Compelling read.
    Gopal


  • Jonathan Wikkins silver member
    August 19, 2004
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    i think you're quite good at it myeself!
    i wrote a piece to the muses of old quite a while back, i hadn't seen the contest, so i don't know if it fits the criteria, but, i will be looking into it!
    good luck in the contest!
    mike


  • Rose Patrick
    August 19, 2004
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    this was a vey sweet funny little poem . and i think that you did quite weel with it. so don't be so hard on yourself. i think that you did this just right. I do want to thank you for this light hearted poem of your i did so enjoy it. thank you for sharing it


  • cherche -d -ame
    August 19, 2004
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    the humor was good indeed...somehow i got a visualof this entire scene and I really laughed. It was as if i saw this nymph (the muse of feminine gender) and Gregg , the gay guy go at it back at forth and you tugging the sheets tight around you Gregg , I must say , I hope by you being so openen in most of your writes about being gay that you will open minds and hearts for future generations of those stoic "oldschoolers" and that by the time my kid's kids will have kids.....it will have become a subject that does not even need to be debated or discussed.It will be as normal as aluting the flag....keep up the good work

    Reenie


  • Paint Me Beautiful
    August 19, 2004
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    I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you so much for sharing, You are very talented and I look forward to reading more rom you in the future
    ~~amber~~


  • jonnyfaint
    August 19, 2004
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    i duno, it was humorous, i don;t know if that is what your were going for, but i thought the ryhme was like kinda childish, sorry i have to be honest, but you have like a million happy face guys, so your poetry is much more popular than mine, so keep it up i guess

  • Red Dwarf
    August 19, 2004
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    Not very good at Humour? LMAO! I think this was really pretty funny. Write More!!! Red who is laughing His Tush Off!


  • Sara Bellem
    August 18, 2004
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    What Fun! This is an interesting poem you got here, I can sense the humor, its very creative as well as it is well-written and descriptive...Thank you for sharing this, I'm glad I clicked this, I enjoyed taking the time to read & comment on this piece ---Sara

  • Ladybug1962
    August 18, 2004
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    good job

    Nice job! I am so applauding this one as you have described a truly humorous situation that I am sure plays out in many different arenas every day!

  • haley27 gold member
    August 18, 2004
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    I didn't know whether to lol or cry. Haley27

  • BeCaUsEoFyOu
    August 18, 2004
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    awesome!

    I love it. Love the way it is written and the words fit so perfectly!


  • tastetheapathy
    August 18, 2004
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    wow!! awesome


  • JennFeelsLost
    August 18, 2004
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    Very cute poem! You were very creative and I thought it was great. Best of luck to you in the contest and keep up the awesome work! --Jenn


  • August 18, 2004
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    Great job on all of them!~!!!
    ~kels~


  • August 18, 2004
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    I'm not Amused...pun intended

  • NJSem
    August 18, 2004
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    I have to ask this question of mine
    in a matter of fact and of course in rhyme.
    Since this muse you say is a girl
    who just happens to be lying by you in a curl.
    You say that your gay and she doesn't belong
    but it just might be that it isn't all wrong.
    For who is to say if we're straight or gay
    that times like this will just get in our way.
    So take your muse and do what you might.
    Take it or leave it and it will be alright.

    I like this one Gregg. It made me think and look a little deeper into it. Whether I interpreted it correctly, I guess to each our own. Thanks.

  • chasedbythecows
    August 18, 2004
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    after this showed up in the feature box twice, of course I had to read this...wow...this is the oddest poem I've seen in like two weeks (which means of course I have to applaud it...hmm it's also sad that I haven't read odder pems...be weird people! ) but anyway, very good poem; cute and funny...my brain's so fried and in the non-writing way I'd keep any muse that showed up, to hell with everything else!


    ~C~


  • Ava Noire silver member
    August 18, 2004
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    lol. I am loving the contest idea, maybe I will see what I can come up with as this was a lot of fun to read, I can imagine it was just as fun to pen it Thanks for the giggle Gregg!


  • ThisIsWhoIAm
    August 18, 2004
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    Lighthearted and humorous, definitely, and an interesting subject matter, but I have to admit that your syntax and rhythm just aren't my cup of tea -- some of it really seems forced, to keep the meter. I think that, if it weren't trying so hard to be in couplets, that it might be better. Still, definitely a fun read; keep it up!


  • rebeka
    August 18, 2004
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    cute...light, and made me smile....I think if Candy does not claim this muse, I certainly will! (although a ryhme with "rebeka" would be quite difficult.)
    light-hearted, good job on the graphics too.

  • Twol0st2bf0und
    August 18, 2004
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    I don't know if it was meant to be funny... i didn't find it so, but i guess others did... This was a good write, honest and confusing, hte best ones. Well anyway, keep up the god work!
    *Chelle*


  • torquebasil
    August 18, 2004
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    Very interesting. Fun, light, but sometimes hard to interpret. If I knew more about the writer, maybe I'd have more luck understanding what was being said. Like about who Candy is and if the speaker is gay, etc. Very fun little poem, I felt some of the rhyme was forced with shortened words and odd word order. But poetry isn't meant to be the same all the time, way to mix it up.


  • Dutch Doll
    August 18, 2004
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    Awe! What a beautiful write.
    Nice and smoothe flow, beautiful. Just great, Im pretty speechless, I suck at this critiqing thing!!!!

  • dReAmZ-cRuCiFiEd
    August 18, 2004
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    That is really awesome, just the title alone thrilled me, anything about muses is killer. AMAZING! Anyways, it was a really good write, really fun to read, I'll have to check out some more of your stuff, you know, so that I can see if you're other stuff is THIS good. Anyhow, coolness.

  • afterdark
    August 18, 2004
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    haha this is awesome! A great laugh! cool stuff!
    love, Violet


  • August 18, 2004
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    Funny stuff. Never read anything by you before but this was good. Made me laugh and the title is good. Nice Job and NICE PICTURE. Jello

  • listen
    August 18, 2004
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    this is really very cute and the rhyming is a very nice touch.different for a change.good luck in contest.

  • RiderOnTheStorm
    August 18, 2004
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    i liked it a lot, its a good write with a great idea behind it, but i think next time it would be better to stick with one genra (or however you spell it). i felt like it was serious at first and went for a little bit of comedy toward the end. nice piece!


  • -theheartofme-
    August 18, 2004
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    heh i was laughing so hard cause i could picture you all backing up to the muse..cuddling then turning over and its a GURL...OMG RUN...heh good job


  • angelica silver member
    August 18, 2004
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    AHH Gregg,this is hilarious, you are very good at humour, believe me my friend, I had a good cackle over you in bed with a female muse. Good luck in the contest~Joan~


  • Princess Muse silver member
    August 18, 2004
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    I'm glad I took the moment to click on this and read it. I was ready to sign off but the "muse" caught me. This made me smile and leaves me with silly happy thoughts. Such a lovely write, it is so refreshing to read things like this now and then. Great job, I see you already have quite a following! I'll have to check out your others when time allows.
    Victoria Lin...the Princess Muse

  • seaflame
    August 18, 2004
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    I love the hummor in this piece, it's great and good luck in the contest


  • Jacki D
    August 18, 2004
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    stupendous

    I found your attempt at humor quite well crafted. I can't believe that you feel you don't have a knack for it. From all the work I have read of yours, I have found you have the talent to depict anything you attempt and make into an incredible read. Good luck in the contest. Jacki


  • misselaineous
    August 18, 2004
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    Greg,
    very a- muse-ing ... sorry that was so very very bad!
    unlike your poem which was pretty good - not your usual but very palatable
    holds head in shame and leaves - a muse d

    elaine


  • starharbor
    August 18, 2004
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    Ah, we have Calliope, Clio, Erato, Euterpe, Melpomene, Polyhymnia, Terpsichore, Thalia, Urania, and the little known 10th Muse, Faghagia. Very funny, very well done, and the sort of title that commands, arrests, and rudely assaults the attention. Kind of Dr. Seuss on ecstasy.


  • velveteen
    August 18, 2004
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    Good job! I thought it was very funny! Great job, the rhyming and flow were flawless! Keep up the great work!
    God bless you,
    ~~~~~ Crosseyed387 ~~~~~

  • X2csquared
    August 18, 2004
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    that confused me a titch bit... r u gay? is that what it was about? at first idk y but i thought u were talking about a moose and in that sence it was very funny but a muse i do not understand sry laterz ~X2c~


  • Vampress
    August 18, 2004
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    This was so cute! Looking at the title I had thought it would be about something completly different, only to find out that I was wrong. It got me to smile though, which is something I haven't done in a long time. I am so glad I found your section of AP awhile back.
    Michelle


  • FlawedDestiny
    August 18, 2004
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    That's cute. I liked this a lot. Uh...if you're not using that spare muse, could I borrow her? LOL Good luck to yoiu in the contest.
    ~*Destiny*~


  • Dean
    August 18, 2004
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    I am smiling becuase this was enjoyable in every sense of the word, I mean, the words were light, I mean, thats what you intended and that is what it came out as, but an all around lovely poem with an underlying edge of humour to it. I think you'd have to be on the inside to get all of the jokes. Like, whose Candy, if I may be so bold? Oh, I noticed and was guilted by the fact you put me on your lovely list on your author page. That made my Monday, which is quite a feat to do. ^_^. I regret to say I have been limited in my computer endeavors, things to do, places to be, friendships to mend, and have been neglegent in my reading of your work. That is why I added you on my favorites list, and intent to comment on all that I can. I love your poetry.


  • MargaretG
    August 18, 2004
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    Funny

    Nice funny poem here! I got a chuckle thinking about whether muses were all female or guys had guy muses! My iambist is a lady, she never gives me dirty words... Also funny to imagine the muse clinging to you like a vine, great imagery.
    Best luck in the contest!


  • Nicolisis
    August 18, 2004
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    Excellent

    This is so funny! It made me laugh out loud. I love your humour! Excellent poem - Luv Niky x


  • NurseChilly gold member
    August 18, 2004
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    ahhh.. now you're so wrong there Gregg.. 'cause this made me smile and a lil' chortle too.. snort snort.. come claim your muse.. as it's keeping awake.. lololololol cute.. very cute
    ~GILL~xxxxx


  • SweetSorrow1989
    August 18, 2004
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    LOL! This was totally unexpected! I didn't expect what was at the end... Great write... I have a muse that use to be my boyfriend... Now he is my ex-boyfriend and he still inspires me... Sometimes you just want to choke your muse just like MissHapps said lol... Great write!


  • cutiepie gold member
    August 18, 2004
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    Terrific

    Humor is there just fine and dandy I enjoyed this it brought a smile and thats not easy to do I admire people with Muses, I seem to have mislaid mine lately.......perhaps I'll borrow yours Great write good luck in the contest


  • MissHapps
    August 18, 2004
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    Not quite what was expected, no, but an interesting write, nonetheless... Meters nicely and the flow seems to dance right on down, as it may. I, personally, like to grab my muse by the neck and just~ squeeze sometimes... Hey, those implorable eye's look good all purple and bulged out like that!?!
    Deena

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