Embraced by your eyes
ocean deep in mystery
souls entwined
in tune before Time
in step as one in Now
Author notes
♥
Written August 17th, 2004
In a list
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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Aha! I think I get it...It's about the one you love..how you loved each other in the past life now you're back as one as how it should be
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This is short yet it is one of the best short poems ive ever read
,WOHAH new shakesphere in town keep it up!
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I only realized coming to read this second poem of yours the help you offered me once during a Haiku Contest--(it was the dog nipping for fleas haiku if you recall). I think your haiku-background really shines through your poetry in that you take an image and write it for the basic beauty that it is...and let the reader take in that image for all the emotion of the poem. there's a simplicity to your writing, but it is not "simple."
the time element within this poem--(before time/now) just feels this may have been written for an anniversary or wedding, but it really is a beautiful poem of love over time...
really enjoyed the read, Maat!
Jo -
Nice write. I absolutely adore the word entwine and it was nice to see it used.
Peace. -
Beautiful!
Ah! This is a rich and deep tanka. So nice this is and it makes you think of the one you love...that your souls are bound together until eternity. I love the upper part {Kaminshu} of this tanka. The saying, "Eyes are the window to the soul" sort of proves itself after reading this beautiful tanka. L3 has balanced this tanka well and does a fine job as the Kaori{pivot}. I believe this tanka has a classical air to it{I may be wrong, but that's the way I felt}. You packed alot in these five lines
I love the background as well here.
Thanks for sharing!
Charishma -
Lovely summation of a lot of emotion in a very few words. Good job and excellent write. Nothing constructive to criticize!
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Thank you! Pleased you appreciate the Japanese forms, they are my favourite.
~G
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I really love the Japanese forms of poetry, the Tanka and the Choka and the Haiku/Senyru. A soft, relaxing piece here, a nice read for this early morning as the dawn wraps itself around the sky.
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Do you know this feeling, when we read a poem and keep staring at it and ....sigh To become one with so many different parts of ourselves and of someone else, is a very diffucult task. But when it happens, I think we reach heaven.
Wonderful tanka Ge!
Kisses and love,
Mari
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gorgeous poem
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Thank you for your lovely comment and applause, baxi666!
AndrewHide teaches classes in writing tanka here on AP, if you'd like to join.
~G
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that has to be the shortest yet so meanful poem thank you for writing such a beautiful tanka i wish i could learn to write like that
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Very short indeed yet the message clear. Before time we were all one of the same love and as to be in the end of time. Tell me, did I see with mine eyes or was mine heart in place?
Edited on Jan 08, 9:02 p.m. because 'uht oh = typo'. -
excellent
Excellent.
Jim Dunlap -
Thank you, Danae! Appreciate your comment.
~ G
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This was truely a beautiful piece of poetry. Short and powerful, created such enotion in the reader that felt warming. Well done.
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Ooooopps.....yes, look what love did to me, Gennelle
. Anyway still a great poem!
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Thank you, again! Hehe! You must have forgotten you were the second person to comment on this when I first posted it, I even applauded you. See what love does to you, Nicolette.
~ G
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Awesome!
This form of haiku is perfect to paint love and you did a splendid job with this tanka! The "message", the economy of words, the depth makes this so much more special. Indeed, what is more "as one" as hearts and souls wrapped around each other. Stunning poem (from someone who says that she does not write poems !
Take care - and keep on stepping as one in this Now.Thank you for directing me to this one...
Nicolette
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Thank you, AngelEyes! That is beautiful!
~ G
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I love you
In fathomless depths
Breathing..in your neon blue
I love you
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Thank you so much, Susan! I appreciate your applause (and all the reading). I will certainly catch up with yours asap.
~ Gennelle
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A beautiful tanka you have composed here
Good luck in the contest
So much said in such few words
Do come and see me as well
Susan~~
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short but absolutly beautiful. I love the sentiment and love in this poem. thank you for entering
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Good luck in the contest!!!!!!!
Don -
my mouth gapes open in awe wow. I loved this. So many of my poems were a mere choking and gasping to say this and only this:
Embraced by your eyes
ocean deep in mystery
our souls entwined
And here you did it perfectly. Geeze girl if only I had your quality of being maybe my life would have went smoother. Amazing, powerful, excellent poem.
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Thank you, Steve! Interesting choice of words, I have an early haiku called 'Sublime' (in response to a friend's haiku last year).. allpoetry.com/poem/438057
~ G
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the power of Haiku .. love, and skillful scribe. evokes the very sublime.
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Wow- a wonderful write, I liked the way you wrote this. A deep write which was important, a wonderful tanka. Keep up the good work because this was wonderful
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Deep and Beautiful
Hi Gennelle:
Tried to leave you feedback earlier, but ran into confuser problems. This is a deep and meaningful Tanka. Love does empower the spirit, sets it free from bondage like the first flight of a bird. Very nice! Thanks. Bill -
Perfect!
woah i love this. like i remember feeling this way! lol i am going to book mark this. -
Beautiful!
Oh, Genelle, this is an absolutely beautiful tanka - what a lovely love letter and embrace. Just loved the line "we were in tune before time"...it paints a picture of entwined destinies and eternity! Beautiful in its simplicity - a sure winner - you should write more love poems, my friend!
Nicolette
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Wonderful
I love this expression, more would be less.
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