Always, when silence prevails
she sneaks into the loft;
Climbing in through the
hatch, she pulls up the stairs,
to solitude;
Whirling thoughts, scramble
for attention;
Clamouring until released;
As her busy
mind sifts and divides;
Feverishly motivated,
she taps, rapidly pouring forth
love, hate, philosophy and
whimsies, till she can type no more;
She escapes into a world of her own;
Till drained and weary, ever
mindful of the sardonic
eyes that follow her
from the loft.............
~~~~~
Author notes
Choice 2#
Commented on;
"To Be A Poet" by IBelieve1nMagic.
"Your Carefree Mask" by Lavender Shadows.
Written August 15th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Portkey to Poetry by lavender shadows.
300 points, ended June 24, 2005, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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Wow,
An amazing piece you have weaved once again my friend.
Thanks for sharing..Nice to be able to release the emotion we have through our poetic pens, pen on.
-Timothy aka poeticweaver~ -
The escape
Sometimes when we write I think we may go to any lenghts to find that peace. Just then only can the words be put down on paper. A fine write -
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Thank you Bob, yes how true...the lengths we go to, to obtain that fraction of peace needed to un-clutter(sp)? our minds
Many thanks for your kind comments 
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splendid poem
As I search for poets on this sight I realize how much I have to learn & every once in awhile I come across a teacher.. Again ,as you are.
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No, I am no teacher...just a pupil who enjoys writing poetry. There is a special magic when the words one has been searching for come to mind. I had forgotten this poem but am grateful for it's awakening
Many thanks for your kindness and good luck with the writing 
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Lol...not sure about the "Brit" bit
but close enough 
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a picture
this is excellent - and your a brit too so clamouring is not misspelled. -
Many thanks . I am delighted that you enjoyed it
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Oh, gosh! I just realized that you're from Ireland! Stupid me. I should check these things before I make stupid American comments, lol. Sorry!
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Thank you so much for your kindness in pointing out errors. I do appreciate it "Clamouring" is listed in my dictionary as being spelt as written. "Collins English Dictionary". I have to agree with you regarding my punctuation I shall work on it
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Great imagery! You described this really well, I could see this all take place in my head. I love the language you used, really appropriate for a writer. At first, I thought that maybe “clamouring” was spelled wrong, but then I saw that that was the Irish way to spell it. (Being a Canadian, I have had people point out my unusual spelling of words as well such as “colour”, “flavour”, “favourite”, etc… And “clamouring” is even spelled like that the Canadian way as well!) I really like it when poets use the spelling proper to their ethnicity, it really adds flavour to the poem! This is short and concise, really giving the poem everything in under 20 lines! I love your ending, really intriguing! Also, I really like the way you punctuated this poem. So many poets these days seem to underestimate the powers of proper spelling and punctuation.
One little grammatical suggestion: I believe that “whimsy’s” should be spelled “whimsies”, because you are not saying that something belongs to “whimsy”, but rather the many “whimsies”. Next, I found when reading this that the lines seem to be cut at awkward places. May I suggest something more along the lines of:
“Climbing in through the hatch,
she pulls up the stairs,
to solitude; (for emphasis, this is perfectly fine on its own)
Whirling thoughts,
scramble for attention;
Clamouring, until released,
as her busy mind sifts and divides.”
I will stop the example there, because I believe that you probably know what I mean. If the lines don’t cut a thought, then the flow seems to improve, in my opinion. Anyhow, these are simply suggestions so you are free to take them or leave them. If you have any queries on the matter, feel free to IM me.
I adore the eloquent vocabulary used in this poem. Also, the background really adds to the poem. You did a great job of showing vs. telling the reader. You did a great job on this!
Thank you for entering and good luck in my contest!
~lavender shadows~
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This is good. I love the ending. "Clamouring, until released," -Clamoring is spelled wrong here, and you might want to look a bit closer at your puncutation. It seems a bit random.
"Whirling thoughts, scramble
for attention;
Clamouring, until released," - These lines are wonderful (save for the typo, lol)! The imagery is great.
"Feverishly motivated,
she taps, rapidly pouring forth,
love, hate, philosophy and
whimsy's, till she can type no more;" - I really loved this part, too. More beautiful imagery, and nice word choice. The ending puts a nice mysterious twist on this that wraps the poem up nicely. Keep up the good work and best of luck to you in the contest! - Ky. -
Ah...you see through me Yes, I am probably like most writers and get lost in their own Ivory Towers I guard this place with my whole being... Many thanks for your kind comments
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Many thanks for your kind words
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reading this again, i can see that writing is also your ivory tower as much as this place is. lovely, the duality of it all
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you do a fine job of describing your actions and thoughts with this one. i really liked the added author's note - i can relate. it is clear why this place is your ivory tower, i only wish i could see it painted with your words.
thanks for entering!!
illusions -
An escape into the dreams that linger in the back, middle and forefront of the mind. I haven't a loft, but I am going to make one now. I wish I had a hammer, this old shoe will do for the moment I think. A good poem, good luck with the competition.
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Thank you I am glad you enjoyed it
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Very nice Ms Cutie you are painting well of late; I wish I had a loft I can feel the atmosphere, its good - thank you.
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Thank you That is high praise indeed I shall keep on listening
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meditative frame of mind
OH Cutiepie, WELL DONE!!! Seems you have been reading alot and taking peoples advice.... and it all has taken place.. this, My Dear is absolutely insatiable!! You did a wonderful job hun!!! -
Thank you
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thank you
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I am pleased that you enjoyed this, thank you for your comments
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Thank you I am glad you enjoyed it, who knows maybe there will be more
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Lol maybe Emily........Glad you enjoyed it
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A Beautiful Thing
Wow...yes, writing is really the greatest escape for me, too. This is a great poem for a site like this. Definately something we can ALL relate to. If I had a choice, I would just write and write and write, all day long, with no interruption. And of course some reading, too, but ah, the pleasure of writing...it's a beautiful thing. -
That was really good!
Sara
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very nice
Very good! it was quite different, and I like it!It reminds me of something.....but I isn't quite clear....
anyway, awesome job!
MAriah
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good job
This read like the beginning piece to a mystery or a thriller. Goo djob, yoru tone was very stated and the undercurrent was dramatic and kept my attention through the whole thing ( no easy feat). Good luck in the contest and oh yeah loved the ending made me go "noooooooooo I want more" -
Something about this reminds me of Emily Dickinson, not the write itself , but the way I picture her always having been in that room...just writing away, very well done
Reenie
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Thank you I am glad you enjoyed it
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I like this piece, I feel i can partly relate to the words you wrote, beautiful Also very thought provoking! Well done
Melissa
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