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I Got A Girl

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independentartistscompany.com/songs.aspx?SongID=7403&;ArtistID=9993

I got a girl,
and she loves me with no shame
Don't ask how since I'm loaded-loud,
and quite profane

When we first met
She was barely seventeen
I was 24 years old, a brief cased
poet on morphine

I took her back with me
To a place where I was a guest
But it didn't take us long
To fall victim to love's test

[Chorus]

When she got pregnant
We barely knew each other's names
But like the mother Mary said,
"I was too young when Jesus came"
But like mother Mary said,
"I was too young when Jesus came"

So life can be funny
Regardless if you get the joke
Take the wizard of Oz for example
Tilting mirrors, full of smoke

[Chorus]

Trust the action of love,
and keep your goals defined
Because if you blame then panic?
You can kiss all your dreams goodbye
Because if you blame then panic?
You can kiss all your dreams goodbye

[Improv and closing]

I have a habit of breaking everything, and
I don't know why I feel the need to hurt myself all the time
A nomad settled tends to get moody fast
The Navy took my 18th year when I went to Captain's mast
But for every fucked thing that's ever happened to me?
Became the scars that caught the loving eye of my future wife,
and now our precious son keeps our love so intact
With a laugh and hello he sits up high on daddy's back
He sits up high on, he sits up high on
Daddy's back

independentartistscompany.com/songs.aspx?SongID=7403&;ArtistID=9993

Author notes

Here take a listen for free

gangbox.com/mp 3/i%20gotta%20 girl.mp3"

independentart istscompany.co m/songs.aspx?S ongID=7403&Art istID=9993

I'd really appreciate some cd sales though guys?
You're fricking killing me.
Written August 13th, 2004

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 25 of 25

  • grannyeri gold member
    November 21, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Great words, and awesome music. Well done. Good job on this one!


  • starlite
    July 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    wicked cool

    wicked pic...i like it...oh and awesome write.....uve got talent that goes without even sayin....so u sell cds?? lol....if i had money id prolly buy one from ya....but i spent my money on lunch and a gift for my best friend lol.....(i rarely spend it on myself lol) anywayz....keep up the good work kiddo and.....keep it real.

    peace and love
    -Jana-


  • Sayyadina
    June 7, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    this is a very well written piece u have here. things worked out in the end and i'm glad- it isn't always so. u've got talent and i enjoyed reading ur work. keep it up.

  • Adam Gellings
    April 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    adam

    hey this was real enjoyable, probably the best ive read today. keep writing im anxious for more
    thanks for sharing and good luck in the future,


  • horus8 gold member
    December 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Actually, that brought me in from the cold after I had been lambasted.
    Still, 'tis only an island in an ocean of teenage blood and zit juice.


  • effundo
    December 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    The jesus/mary line is deep (reminded me of of the truth according to dan brown in the da vinci code) Your softer side is what i liek best about your writing earthy, an awareness and appreciation of femininity and wit one liners with wisdom. You've evolved and i think i've mellowed. I see your in the honest critiques group - fairplay to you i have been lambasted enough for saying what i think on here lately and i bet my last quid you were partly responsible for the origins of that group. You kick poetry forward of 2004, ahead of your time in my opinion and dead or alive you'll make the bigtime one day.

  • horus8 gold member
    November 19, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Sure thing, Buttercup.


  • Ladysarrow
    November 19, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    so these are true events? not sure what to say about this song. guess i'd have to hear it before i make any assumptions. Out of all honesty, it sounds slightly cheesy; though I have written many similar to this. I do like it because it seems from your heart. once i get my speakers for my computer i'll give the real song a listen Please don't take my critisism too hard. It's just that this piece reminded me of so many past songs I have writen and tried to break away from. I'm gonna read more of your stuff. (sorry about my spelling by the way...spell check is my friend


  • Naughtygrlred
    November 16, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    stunning


  • horus8 gold member
    November 15, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Once again, you'll find by clicking the link in the author's comments
    the answer to your curiousity.


  • jilli72950
    November 15, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    as though daddy's back were his throne..and he a prince of the affections shared between you and your wife. Indeed, a sweet poem to say the least. 'twas intriguing, and kinda sad all at the same time. But you played with it well, good job!
    Jillian


  • mascararunning
    September 24, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    soooo sweet...and amazing..all I can say..


  • Trilliana
    August 21, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    hmmm so this is you... I see I see... I was curious. Curiousity definately killed the cat... but satisfaction brought him back See ya horus

  • darkestlight
    August 21, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    awesome song is real good! i dont know much about what uve gone throu but i do know that some things dont seem like a blessing till u can look back and see it from another part of ur life. good luck!

  • Bozaloshtsh
    August 18, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    3.5/5 stars.

    A surprisingly interesting read, lol, I will admit I was originally put off by the fact that this was done in song format, but the imagery and the feeling and the reality of what binds two people together after such a rough storm was expressed wonderfully in the poem. Even if this isn't apparently your usual style, I'll be back to check out more, that's for sure.


  • NurseChilly gold member
    August 14, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    It's a good job she does.. and I've snuck a listen to this before.. heheheh as I know where to find your stuff

    LOVE YOU LOADS.. all is well here.. no longer wanting Rock Star status here.. rofl
    ~GILL~xxx


  • haikumonk gold member
    August 14, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting piece. It moves real well with an interesting story to it. I like the chorus cuz it doesn't repeat with the same words as so many do. L5 in the second chorus has a typo though.... just noticed.

    take care...

    Don


  • Mishielle
    August 13, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    awwwwwwwwwwwwww, this made me almost cry it was sooo good! I can imagine just singing to it on the radio, I kinda had my own little beat going in my head, it wsa great!


  • kotalu
    August 13, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    The song has a kinda Billy Idol sound to it. I like it!

  • horus8 gold member
    August 13, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Did you listen to the song?


  • August 13, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Good lyrics. Life and love and the moments that make us who we are today. I enjoyed reading your lyrics.

  • KeepingTheStars
    August 13, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Hey!

    "I was too young when Jesus came
    But like mother Mary said,
    "I was too young when Jesus came

    I believe that the end quote should come after "came" although, it could be intended and I just was not aware.

    Because if you blame then panic?
    You can kiss all your dreams goodbye
    Because if you blame than panic?
    You can kiss all your dreams goodbye

    Once it says then and once it says than. You're a brilliant writer, so I wouldnt question your talent, just thought I'd point it out since it didnt look right?

    I really did enjoy this. It made me smile. And if I were at home instead of at work, I might be able to listen to this fabulous song.

    : ) Take care,

    Criss



  • horus8 gold member
    August 13, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks, download the song and take a listen.

  • chrome angel
    August 13, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    This was such a pleasure to read. You make us see it from a different angle. Brilliant.

  • pepperella
    August 13, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I was reading this and it strucked me that this is quite different from your usual obscure pieces... and then the category struck me again... it's lyrics of a song that's why... lol

    I love the context of this song. It isn't the usual angsty-bangsty type nor was it the usual syruppy-chiruppy mush love songs...its like a story being unfolded by the minstrel of yores - befitting the jazz tunes.

    I'm downloading your music right now

1 - 25 of 25