my body grows heavy,
as my limbs
slowly turn to lead
i am so worn sometimes
that dark oblivion,
i know so well
is calling me,
courting me,
begging me
to be it's tragic bride
i am so weak sometimes
after all these years
darkness
just feels like home
Author notes
i have been fighting this for years, i am so weary, not giving up is the hardest thing in the world, but i can't hurt the people who care about me.
Written August 12th, 2004
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1 - 12 of 12
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The ending of this...
It was perfect.
I wish that I could critique it in some way...
But I can't find anything wrong with it. =D
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This comes across so strong - written in the raw and with pain, as one sees the darkness you are speaking of. Depression is not home, and I hope that you soon leave this location and find a happier and homier place to rest your weary bones. Well written, sentiments well expressed in these lines.
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I liked this too but I felt it lacked the raw truth of your other poem. To me this was a little cliched and lacked feeling in places, but none the less a good write. Thanks for entering.
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awesome
this is a very short piece but to the point and you can feel the emotion in it,i know what your feeling, very good, keep writing!
..::rosesrblack::.. -
relatable
Very nice, I identified with this...as my life has been less then peachy lately, however things will get better, hang in there, keep writing, I'm interested in reading more things along these lines -
you did a good job on this poem. not exactly what i would have thought from the title, but still congratulations on a job well done. keep up the good writing and good luck on other pieces of poetry that you might write in the near future.
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This was such a short powerful write. I really liked it. I thought it had a nice format and flow. I like the title but I do think there could be something more fitting...but I dont have any suggestions that could do this justice. This reminded me of something I wrote recently called "The Darkness" . I felt like I could really relate to this. Great job and thanks for sharing.
Elisabeth -
Lovely little poem. I like the set up of the stanzas, alternating with single liners. My favorite phrase is "tragic bride."
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I know too well how that feels. It is a shame that you have felt it as well.
Absinthe
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absolutely inspiring.this is so simple....that dark oblivion,
i know so well
is calling me,
courting me,
begging me
to be it's tragic bride
this feels so familiar. -
good job
this poem was good. i wish that it was longer though because it was good! you did a great job writing this piece. i could almost sense how helpless you feel sometimes. it was a good piece... filled with what you were feeling. good job! can't wait to read more!
crissy -
this one is good, your pain and feeling of hopelessness comes off well. i can relate, but even if i do fail or feel miserable, Christ is there...
I hope for the best for you.
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