Sweet crimson petals
Allure every flitting bee
With a pollen scent
Author notes
This is my first Haiku. Please let me know what you think.
Written August 12th, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
Very nice, especially for a first effort. Great imagery, wonderfully descriptive, which is very difficult with the limitations of this form. Good job and good luck in the contest, thank you for entering.
-
Pretty picture perfect!
Mmmmm.....really nice! I can smell the pollen sitting here miles away
This has a beautiful visual to it and makes good use of the sense of smell and sight, good combination, well inter-woven together! This reminds me of one of my lanturne on bees that you might like to check out
Nicely done in the 5-7-5!
Charishma -
Very very good
Wonderful haiku - you stick to the 5-7-5 form with perfection. Wow, this is your first haiku - that's hard to believe - this is excellent! This haiku sings out 'spring' what with the pollen and the bees and the petals. great!
-
Very cute. I love reading short poems to see what people can say with so little. For your first I think this is beautiful. Thanks for sharing, and congratulations on being able to try something new.
-
this haiku really rocked, the first line was off the scale in greatness, i like it, it really describes nature at its purest take care x
-
I love the poem... good work!!!! You should check out mine!!!
-
This is a lovely Haiku... 5-7-5 syllables count... though I've learnt that Haikus don't have to be of 5-7-5 syllables count... as far they don't exceed 17 syllables... they are difficult to write, they are not simple as they appear... I liked this one... thanx for sharing...
mina
-
Beautiful
Awesome Haiku, I like it much, and the first line ROCKS "sweet crimson Petals" hmmmm INspiration...Thank you! -
Lovely
This was lovely, and yes bees go to any flower that carries pollen well done.
-
Thanks i'll consider that name and it is meant to be a rose so maybe "spring rose"...Also yes i'm sure bees do go to roses.
-
"Spring flower" maybe? But the crimson lends itself to a rose...do bees go to roses? Anyway, that's all I have...Good job.
~Sydney~
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
7 old applause
