Sunset,
a passionate
giant sits balancing
on the horizon rimmed by a
soft haze.
Author notes
This is my first attempt at a cinquain. I took the chance to enter this contest in order to experiment with different forms.
Written August 10th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Cinquain Championship by Ava Noire.
370 points, ended August 13, 2004, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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First of all I want to say I absolutely love how you described the sunset. Sunsets are not uncommon topics in poetry, but you have managed to steer clear of cliche and create a new image full of creativity. I think “giant” was a clever description, as well as “rimmed by a soft haze.” Very pretty. It lured me in without going overboard with imagery and leaving bits and pieces up to my imagination. The form and syllable count both look correct and I thank you for entering my contest and trying a form that was new to you. I hope you will continue to experiment with the form, as you’ve done a marvelous job. It was a joy to read your cinquain.
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ooooOoooo....lovely. its cool that ur experimenting different styles, i am doing that too.
wonderful write.
~elmy. -
well, this is a wonderful first attempt at cinquain. You handled the syllables perfectly. I sometimes, also look at the giant in wonderment...... but then, I think all of creation fits into that wonderment of mine..
Nice work
Don -
The enjambment of the second to third doesn't sit well with me. But, that's the only thing I feel is wrong with this piece.
Not to be cliche or even over-used, sort of gave me the image of Shrek committing the scenery in which you are displaying here.
Either way, it's a lovely image.
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Wow, this is very beautiful. I love how you personalized the sun. Excellent work, good luck in the contest!
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