As I lay naked, the truth exposed
All I wanted was some clothes
You took my secrets and all my fears
You took them all and laid them bare
Everything I held dear and close to my heart
You used to rip it out and break it apart
Everything I feared somehow came true
I can’t believe this, how could you?
I thought you were someone I could love and trust
I felt like being honest with you was a must
As I lay naked, the truth exposed
All I wanted was some clothes
Something to cover all the pain
Something to shelter me from the rain
The words of hate came in a downpour
Those words of hate beat me up more
With those words you took a piece of me
You eroded away a piece of Dee
They knocked me down, I was out cold
They made me realize I’m all alone
As I lay naked, the truth exposed
All I wanted was some clothes
I don’t know what hurt more,
You exposing me, or you walking out that door
Why would you do something to hurt me so?
All your insecurities I did not know
Finally you showed me the real you
I’m so heartbroken I don’t know what to do
I pick up the pieces and try to move on
In my head I still hear your words of scorn
As I lay naked the truth exposed
All I wanted was some clothes
To cover up the lies and hide the real me
The person I never wanted anyone to see
I needed shelter from judging eyes
All I could do was lie there and cry
My mouth glued shut, my body paralyzed
Bound to this miserable life by my lies
And all those secrets I had to hold
I still can’t believe you told
As I lay naked the truth exposed
All I wanted was some clothes
I told you my secrets and all my fears
You took them all and laid them bare
For everyone around to see
You showed them all the real me
With all these things I trusted you
Remember the saying about the things you do
If what they say is true
Then you have a lot coming back to you!
Author notes
Written August 10th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Anything... by Asinine..
900 points, ended August 27, 2004, 63 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Very stellar imagery here. Keep writing what fits your emotions. This is splendid and the first two lines are essential to these feeling of nakedness! Excellent!
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Good.
I like this poem. It sort of reminded me of a chant. But then the coplet does that. Still you had good use of repetition, thats hard to do in my opinion. Rock on. -
You did a great job expressing your feelings in this poem. I could feel every bit of your pain and sorrow in this. *sigh* When someone betrays you, especially a close friend, it's hard to cope with it. In fact, it's even hard to believe at first. But time will mend that scar. I hope it has for you. Beautiful poem =]
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Thank you so much Tina. I am trying to write more since I feel I express myself better that way. Thanks again,
Dee -
Lander, Please don't be heartbroken! I did'nt want to make anyone sad but I was sure that someone could relate to what I was feeling. Thanks for reading,
Dee -
245Trioxin, I am a very nice person but I don't let anyone walk all over me. Yes he hurt me, yes I feel pain, but there is no way he was going to get away with it. I can only be but so nice you know? Thanks for reading and leaving your comment,
Dee -
Thanks DarkAngelic, I was really trying to put in to words what I felt at that time. I have a hard time expressing myself sometimes but I felt so "naked" having everything about me "exposed" and laid out "bare" for everyone to see. Thanks for stopping by,
Dee -
Darell, I'm glad you can put a comical spin on this. It was something that was very difficult to deal with at the time. I thought I was over it but it came back to haunt me one day. I guess in time the pain will go away. Thank you so much,
Dee -
Thanks Diamond. Unfortunately there is a lot of truth to this poem. It was a horrible experience but one I will never live again. I tried my best to put in to words what I felt but it was difficult. This is one of those poems that will have to be re-written. Thanks again,
Dee -
I feel a lot of energy and emotions surging from your poetry. Descriptive details about such feelings as painful as you have described above, definitely need to be voiced for it they are locked away they will fester inside and it will only make them more painful to bear. Awesome piece - keep it up, though I have no doubt you will.
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I agree with all of the above comments, though they have left nothing for me to say...this poem has left me heartbroken. I love this poem- it is so very emotional and powerful. Fabulous poem.
-Lander -
I agree with the above in that your first two lines speak volumes in themselves, and in each stanza you back up their power.
Most of all I enoyed how you ended the poem. When things come full circle, no gaps....no getting away with what he did. It's the sort of finishing touch that leaves the reader feeling accomplished.
I'm glad you're able to wash your hands of this..it does seem quite the mess. -
this is very good. you did a great job on putting the title into the poem and having these lines in the different paragraph things:As I lay naked the truth exposed All I wanted was some clothes. this makes it even more powerful. great write
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Powerfully Raw!
The was a very telling pieceof work. How many of us have trusted
someone who we thought was special in our life only to be betrayed. As I read each line I felt the deep wounds that betrayal inflicts. It's good that you vented so you can now move onward and upward. Remember,"one monkey don't stop the show!" Powerful writing. Raw and very dramatic!
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Sad yet Amazing write
WOW Girl, I loved this write, the way you began each verse with, "As I layed naked, the truth exposed
All I wanted was some clothes"
Dee, this was really great, I felt from this write that you were finally able to get so much off your chest. The very ferst verse was a violation of trust. Taking your secrets and fears and laying them in the open. All you wanted was some clothes to hide your exposure, not a naked exposure but the exposure of pain, hurt , lies, physical and emotional pain that comes from someone violating your trust. Someone that you had grown to live and even trust. To make matters worse, were those judging eyes, everyone seeing but not understanding what is realy going on. Dee, this was awesome. I know that many people will read it and see themselves and hopefully this poem will help them to realize that they are not the only people that is going through stuff like this. I've been there myself and I was so glad that I got out when I did. Thanks for sharing Dee and i'll see you later. Keep on writing girl, you're great. 
Avril
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