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Broken

pink toenail polish adorned her perfect toenails and drops of silver tears covered her rosy cheeks
alone she sat inside her new red mustang
her head placed delicately on the steering wheel
her heart placed on a cutting board

blood dripped off of her knuckles soaking through her new white shirt
though that was the least of her worries

she was suffering from the worst thing in the world
not only a crushed heart
but a broken soul
for he was the one she lived for


Author notes

ahhhhhhhhhh. I tried to write something about a stupid broken heart and although I've suffered from one a few more times then I'de like to admit this sucks.
I had no idea what I was doing, but i tried my best
Written August 9th, 2004

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • hopeleslytaken
    January 16, 2005
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    HAHAH for having no idea what you were doing it was great. it was kinda sad though. the last line got me. beautiful job. um yea i dont really have anything else to say about that. except why exactly were her knuckles blleding? i didnt quite get that lol. ok well ttyl...*much love* -Ebi-


  • DeadlyPoetic88
    January 15, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    wonderfully written and it did not suck

    Why did you say that this sucked? I think that it was very well-written and you shouldn't think that your stuff sucks. It only leads people to think that that it sucks and that it not worth to read when you say that. I learned that the hard way. Well, keep up the good job and write more stuff that is as good as this.

  • xLivingDeadGirlx
    August 20, 2004
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    well despite what you said in your author's comment i thought that this was really good...i didn't think that it sucked at all...i loved the image that i got in my head when you said that her heart was on a cutting board or something like that, great job on this one.
    christina

  • Prodigy
    August 19, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    It didn't suck! I like how it is, its brief and vivid, and I'm so glad you covered the broken soul!! Most people regard a broken heart as something fairly irrelevant that will pass quickly, and they don't stop and think how it mars one's soul. Good job


  • kay a
    August 17, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    this...does NOT suck at all...it was straight and to the point and filled with emotion in such a short poem
    great job on this
    i liked the flow, it was heartfelt and honest and that makes the best poems
    kay

  • dccrunner
    August 10, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Sam,
    Please do me this one favor and STOP SAYING EVERYTHING YOU WRITE SUCKS! It really gets me annoyed. I mean, you can't really think your stuff sucks that much or you wouldn't write at all.
    A portrait of a broken heart. It is never easy.
    The only thing I didn't understand was the blood on her knuckles. Did she beat her boyfriend up or something?
    Elizabeth


  • meganxrenee07
    August 10, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    awesome poem! please check out mine

  • polly
    August 9, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I really love the last line.


  • sedatednomore
    August 9, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Oh this is a great poem. So sad but I really like how you wrote this. I hope life is going good for you.

1 - 9 of 9