So this is the choice we get, huh?
Bumbling Bush or Purple Heart Kerry?
A guy who can't even say "nuclear"
and a big ol' stretch-job fairy?
As November draws closer and closer,
the mud-slingin' keeps getting meaner
until I'd rather vote for Charlie Manson
then either one of those two weiners.
Of course, we all know who's to blame
for these two schmoes comparing erections.
If it wasn't for the Al-Quaeda nutjobs,
this would just be a humdrum election!
But then, what would the liberal left do
without a big, bad Republican to demonize?
Asking them to support a Christian conservative
is like asking Michael Moore to run out of lies.
He says George Bush lied about why we went to war
When in fact Saddam Hussein himself was the WMD!
How many innocents should die before we step in?
Hussein killed thousands. That's enough for me.
When someone tells me that they're against this war,
All I hear is they don't care about people being killed
Unless those people look, act and worship like them,
Who cares how many more mass graves are filled?
I wish mankind could be one big family.
But we're no closer, not even a smidgen.
And as usual, the ones disrupting the peace
are the fools who misinterpret religion.
Just stop for a moment and think about it -
how absolutely whacko does a man have to be
to scream out his God's name with tears of joy
while thousands of innocents die needlessly?
After 9/11, who cares what they're mad about
or if we helped put their tyrants in power?
Terrorism immediately overrides other evils
and it was they who declared zero hour.
So here we stand at the brink of doomsday.
There's no choice left but to stand and fight.
We're under threat of attack so we must defend.
It no longer matters who's wrong or who's right.
We didn't start the war in the Middle East.
To think we did is simplistic and trite.
A civil war has been brewing for decades now
between their own left and religious right.
It's a choice between Inquisition or Reformation
and humanity has been at this crossroads before.
Occasionally, lunatics try to destroy the world
and the civilized people must settle the score.
Al-Quaeda, the Jihadis, and Wahhabi fanatics
are determined to finish the Nazi Holocaust.
It's another battle between tyranny and reason
and they must be defeated, no matter the cost.
In a few years, they would have had nuclear weapons
and the world would have a lot more to fear.
And every terrorist killed on the streets of Iraq
is one less we'll have to kill over here.
So who do you want in the ring for us?
Someone who faces the foe without fear?
Or a man whose opinions change like the tides
depending on which group of voters is near?
If Kerry calls himself a hero again
or mentions his three purple hearts,
I'm going to volunteer for his campaign
just so I can kick him right in the nards.
I've never seen anyone use four months
in Vietnam as so much political fodder
and all he did was pull a fellow soldier
into a boat from out of the water.
Hello?! That's what he was SUPPOSED to do!
I mean, who would have let the guy drown?
A "hero" does something nobody expects!
What a pretentious, sanctimonious clown.
If Kerry really was a warrior-hero-type-guy,
a bad-ass commando with a thousand-mile stare,
then why do all his buddies from back in the day
say he's lying about what happened out there?
The Democrats call Bush a war-mongerer.
They say he's psychotic and half-insane.
Then they make Kerry's fictitious war record
the main thrust of his entire campaign!
The truth is he was a big, clumsy oaf
so he got injured three times! Who cares?
In fact, he was probably TRYING to get hurt
so he could get his yellow ass out of there!
The only reason Kerry survived at all in 'Nam
was because Charlie was afraid he might bite them.
(Have you seen those choppers? Wow! But I digress.)
The Viet Cong prob'ly got one look at that kisser
and thought we'd sent Herman Munster to fight them!
The enemy would huddle together, petrified,
with horror that made them shake to the bone,
saying, "The monster-man looked right at me
and said, Hello there, Lovey! I'm home!'"
I know it's not nice to pick on somebody's looks.
At least that's what they taught me in church.
So I'm sorry I said he looks like Herman Munster.
The truth is he looks a lot more like Lurch!
Author notes
Written August 9th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Bush OR Kerry???...(plz enter! its my first contest :)) by .
300 points, ended October 26, 2004, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Thanks Nick! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Mark -
Great poem... I was just looking at random poetry and this one came up... it was nuckin futs man!
lol... looking forward to reading more of your work. keep it up!
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lol i liked this very funny and deep at the same time i like alot..(the picture is kol to) well good write and good luck in the contest
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Great idea! But I would want to go back in time and wake up in 1956 when America was fat and happy, and there was still such a thing as "far away". Thanks for reading and not kicking my butt over my anti-Kerry remarks. I know it's hard to resist. lol
Mark -
I make no secret of the fact that I prefer Kerry over Bush, but even so, I got a good laugh out of this!
so this election, our choices are:
FrankenKerry
or
Emperor Bushatine
how about you just deep freeze me until the next election? -
There's also a video made by the same people called "It's Good To Be In D.C.", or something to that effect. You can find it at this link: atomfilms.shockwave.com/af/content/goodtobeindc_af
I'm sure you've seen it before, but if not, you'll probably find this one just as funny as the first. Enjoy! -
Hi Becky,
I just reread your comment on this one and wanted to say I'm sorry to hear you lost friends in Vietnam. If you get a second, check out the article I posted on my author page and let me know what you think. I'd like to get your thoughts on it.
I hope you're doing well.
Mark -
Hey BlackKnight,
You sent me a link on this poem for the "This Land" parody way back when and I somehow missed it. I did see it, as everyone in America seems to, and you're right, it is freakin' hilarious. Thanks for sending it my way. I hope you're doing well, buddy.
Mark -
Check this link out: atomfilms.shockwave.com/contentPlay/shockwave.jsp?id=this_land&preplay=1
&ratingBar=off
For all I know, you've probably watched this already; if you haven't, I can guarantee you'll get a chuckle or two from it. -
lol. . and us kiwi aussies just think . . hmm ?.
the way written shows me this came from deep in the psych
awesome outpouring . . you have touched on many things i have written on over last 2 years . . excluding the bush and whathisname election for you guys . .lol
better the blow never struck
if the result of the action
is left to luck
smiles . .
cheers
mike
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No balk. Just stated my opinion, and I have been really frustrated with many of the entries just because of their BLATENT SARCASM. I apologize if I judged you too quickly. I really didn't MEAN to, but this contest has seemed to become a "JOKE" to many on this site. If I offended you in any way, I sincerely apologize. I really liked your poem, and I am PROUD 100% that you are voting for Bush.
HP -
Hey HP,
I entered this in your contest then took it out when I realized I said a few things that weren't exactly pro-Bush, either, which is strange because I will be voting for Bush. Sorry for the balk. Good luck with the contest.
Mark -
well, this contest is really Pro-Bush, but since you made fun of Kerry and didn't really "bash" Bush I won't DQ you. I liked the way you made fun of that ridiculous fool Kerry though. lol
HP -
Well, I must say that I like the poem. It was cute, comical and
makes a point. I enjoyed reading it and the way it is presented
was great. Nice job...keep up that excellant writing. -
Mark, I can tell this is very important to you, as it is to so many across this country. I live in Oklahoma City where terrorists (american ones) blew up the federal building along with 168 people, including 19 children. I don't know who is the best man for the job - and not sure that either one of these fill the bill. But I do know that somebody better get this terrorism in check. Mass murder, no matter how you slice it, psychopaths with guns, zealots with hidden agendas, its so overwhelming. I resent a Vietnam vet bragging about his record when I hear his own fellow soldiers say its not true. How dare he? That is the time when I grew up, some of my best friends went there, and many of them never returned. Sorry for the rant, but it sure does hit a nerve, eh? I would just like to see whoever ends up in that office actually deal with these things rather than concentrating on inflating their own ego and feathering their own nest. There. Nice job you've done here. I like the pic too. lol Its perfect for this.
~ becky -
Hi Mark...firstly I can't pretend I know too much about American politicians...but I feel it's safe to say they are pretty much the same the whole world over including (or maybe even especially here in the UK.) I loved your poem...I loved it for the way it points out home truths simply and plainly...we the little people have no choices....and who to entrust with our future is a farce....world leaders should be qualified in the subjects of peace...love...humanity and most of all humility....for without humility they will only ever think of their own status and comfort...I will bookmark this one...because you have so elequently penned what many of us feel so strongly...hugs...leanne xxx
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Dear Anonymous Teen,
I understand your point about terrorism existing for a long time before 9/11. My parents were born in Belfast and I've been back there many times. That line came from a strictly American standpoint, being that 9/11 was the worst terrorist attack to ever occur on U.S. soil. The line "Terrorism immediately overrides other evils" was also a general comment about the nature of terrorism anytime, anywhere. I don't think terrorism started with 9/11 but it was definitely the worst single event in U.S. history, or anywhere else for that matter, which is another reason I'm sickened by countries in Europe and elsewhere condemning our war on terrorism. If 4000 of their civilians were killed that way all at once, they'd be out for blood, too. One of the fatal flaws of humanity is the attitude of, "If it doesn't happen to me or my people, I don't care." That's what we're witnessing now with all the lack of support, plain and simple.
One would think the world would be happy that we and our allies took out a known terrorist supporter and mass murderer, and a corrupt and evil government. They were right out of a comic book in terms of good and evil, but the U.S. is the bad guy. It boggles the mind.
Thanks for commenting. Again, I find it amazing that you're only 13 years old. Let me know where I can visit you when you're running Ireland.
Mark -
This was funny, it had a good point well made, but it was perhaps a little too personal in points. I am equally sick hearing about Kerry's purple hearts and his chin, and I live in Ireland. Neither are important.
I'm more than a little annoyed with the line "After 9/11... terrorism immediately overrides other evils". I am at least grateful that you didn't focus on terrorism for long, but I just have to shout this out (not to you, but to an awful lot of people): TERRORISM EXISTED BEFORE 9/11. It didn't change anything in Europe, there have been bombs in Britain, Spain, France and Greece for decades, there was Lockerbie, there was Oklahoma, there was the Munich Olympics, there were hundreds of security and intelligence precautions all over the world and everyone west of Greenland forgets it. -
YES. I DO APPROVE.
*giggle ooommmmmggggg.......ROFLAMO......Mark...need.....oxygen.....laughing....too...hard.......whoooooooosh!!!!......LOL!!!
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hehehe, this is good. i like it
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