“Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor.”
At least that’s what the wise men say.
But Mickey always thought it was great
for totally ruining somebody's day.
Mick was the insult king of our block.
We all called him “Mickey the Mouth.”
Nobody could hurl put-downs better than him.
He was the best - east, west, north or south.
“You should always have a good one ready,” he said,
“for when some bonehead tries to give ya some lip.
Mickey the Mouth don't take no garbage from nobody!
I don't mess around. I shoot straight from the hip.”
The other night at the bar, I saw Mick go to work
when some big Mama Luke got all over his case.
Mickey said, “Hey, great moustache, tough guy!
It breaks up the monotony of your face!”
Of course, Moustache didn’t appreciate that
and he punched Mickey right on the beak.
Bleeding, Mickey asked, “Is dat all you got?
You hit like my little sistah, Monique.”
This didn't help to calm the beast down.
His eyes glared and his face turned red.
He said, “You don't know when to shut up, do ya?”
Then he broke a chair over poor Mickey’s head.
Now Mickey was only about five-foot-nothin’
and not well-endowed in skill, strength or size
so I was starting to question the wisdom
of always talkin’ trash and crackin’ wise.
But Mick kept on yappin', split lips and all.
It would have been inspiring if it wasn’t so sad.
He got back up and said, “Gee, pal, I’m sorry . . .
“ . . that you have to go to prison to visit your dad.”
I don’t recall much more after that one,
just a whole lot of elbows and knees.
The guy was a slugger but a gentleman, too,
because he stopped when Mickey yelled, “Please!”
“Finally, you’ve come to your senses!” he said.
“I was getting tired of smackin' you around.”
Mick said, “Please! Please! Your B.O. is awful!
The war's over. You can put your arms down!”
Well, that about did it for Mickey the Mouth.
The guy hauled off and laid him out flat.
Now Mick’s philosophy is right on his grave . . .
“Hey, Stupid! What are you lookin’ at?”
Author notes
This is not a true story. However, I knew a guy a lot like Mickey who seemed to have no editor between his brain and his mouth, and it was constantly getting him into trouble, along with me if I happened to be with him. So I guess this poem was loosely based on him.
I've received a few criticisms on Mickey getting beaten to death, and I guess it's a bit over the top, but I loved the idea of somebody having such a bad attitude that even their tombstone reads, "What are you lookin' at?" so I went with it.
This was also inspired by the bar fight songs by Jim Croce like Bad, Bad Leroy Brown and You Don't Mess Around Jim. (The bad guys meet grisly ends in both of those songs, by the way.)
I also went to that extreme because exaggeration is one of the main characteristics of comedy.
Maybe there's even a little message in there about diplomacy, too. lol As the old saying goes, "It's not what you say but HOW you say it."
Thanks for visiting!
Mark
P.S. The "it breaks up the monotony of your face" joke was borrowed from Rodney Dangerfield (one of my all-time heroes), and the "What are you lookin' at?" on the tombstone joke is an old chestnut that has been around for centuries.
Written August 9th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Humour galore by Aedara-Wren.
300 points, ended April 29, 2005, 4 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 44 of 44
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lol!!thats all that needs to be said!!
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Hey,
Oops! That's so funny. I just thought "Mickey" and "Mouth" went together well. It was not inspired by you at all. I haven't seen your bad side yet. (But I hear I don't want to, so maybe this is somewhat accurate accidentally? haha)
Thanks!
Mark -
Oh man this one had me laughing. It helped to put me in a better mood. It's almost as comical as Computer Induced Mania. I liked it. Keep writing.
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Oh, sure. You couldn't name him "Billy" or "Johnny" or "Mac" right? Just had to name him Mickey. I'll try not to take it personally...you did spell it differently, after all. (Although between you and me...I'd almost be flattered...)
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Spectacular Write
Poor Mickey, some guys just have to learn the hard way. This was absolutely humorous, intelligent and terribly sarcastic. You've done well with this entry. Good luck in the contest.
Avril
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Good poem, very whitty, your imagery is good and you have done well with your rhyming..loved the end bit.. good luck ~Katie~
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Great job with this "sarcasm" story - full of wit and humor, and you made it interesting and enjoyable to read. Poor Mickey got his just desserts! Thanks for entering.
Best wishes,
Moses
Edited on Aug 20, 9:40 because 'spelling'. -
Good job, I loved this. I know someone so similar to this too.
Always picking fights with bigger guys.
Anywayz, your poem was awesome. You used rhyme well to help the poem, and the only place it seemed forced was the "Monique" part, but maybe that's just me.
Anyway, great job, and good luck in the contest!
~Caroline~ -
I guess you'll be the King. Original subject and amusingly well written piece. Barbie. Xx
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Excellent, you really have a gift for these humorous poems! I expect to read more from you!!!
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This was great! I loved the flow to it, even that was humorous, hehe. If... that makes any sense at all. Anyways, the rhyming in it was great, I liked the way it sort of tied things together. Oy, this was so funny... I've known a couple of people like "Mickey the Mouth" as well. Hilarious poem here, keep it up!
Renae. -
I thought it was hysterical. I can't think of a better end!
BWAH HA HA HA HA HA **cyber-laughs**
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haha that's awesome.. very funny stuff, man
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lol they say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but yet the highest form of intelligence. YOU've done well to capture it in this very bright poem!!!
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very inspiring work.
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I love the ending! I thought it was perfect; you are right, exaggeration adds to comedy. I am glad that you went with your gut- the image of a gravestone with an attitude is the perfect "the end" for Mickey. Your rhyme scheme was very well done... it did not seem forced at all. All of your words and insults flowed very well together. I was thoroughly amused.
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lol no way!!! this thing is awesome! Seriously well written I have to applaud this theres no way I could applaud anything else.
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Excellent
Brought I smile to my lips. -
lol ... I was bored and read it...
Edited on Aug 10, 5:11 p.m. because ''. -
well i dont know this was funny but is it true cuz im the most sarcastic person i have ever met ad i have yet to have any thing close to that happen to me but then again i havent had to face off goliath hehehe sarcasm is great though i mean in the sence that you can state what you want to say in a comicle way without having to be seriouse becasue when your to serious then your gonna get mad and whats the fun in that?
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lol this was really funny! you did really good on this piece. great job. that poor guy, but i guess he deserved it huh? lol anyways great job
~mikki -
Lol- I liked this a lot, Mickey seemed an interesting person, did you create him or did you actually know him? A great poem, good luck in the contest
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Funny
Lol.... I really had a good laugh at this, poor Micky
Great write, well done
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this is great!loved it, alot of ppl are like that to that's the funniest part!great write loved every bit of Mickey the Mouth
Brooke -
omg Mark this is hilarious!!...i have met a few mickies in my time i can tell you!! ... a great fun write (with a strangely unresting moral behind it ) ...thanks so much for making me laugh....hugs...leanne xxx
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This is so funny I love it.
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EXCELLENT
AHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!! Thats so great! Keep up the awesome work, man!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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lol this was cute and amusing the way you ended it was classic how perfect. reminds me of my grandpa
you did an awsome job on this story and I hope you place well in the contest. good luck to you and thanks for sharing this humorous write 
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Well, this is certainly a different piece in it's very own way. I was confused at the beginning of this, for it seemed to abstract for me...but that's what drew me to it. By the end I am pretty sure that i got the jist of it. While reading this I could see that you put a lot of time and energy into it. I also would like to just say that this was a beautiful write, there was some great imagery in this, but it was a joy to read. Overall I thoroughly enjoyed this. Please keep writing,and thanks a ton for sharing. ..
~Liadan -
quite funny.... i should show this to my little sister... she could learn something from the late mickey the mouth... she runs her mouth like that but no one's told her not to sooo.... yea thats that.... but back to the story, it was pretty funny and at the same time educational.... well written, thanks for sharing...
-Legend -
delightfuly funny and I can see your talent shining ...no sarcasm intended..lol...good luck in the contest.. freda
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hahaha, *excellent*, and i loved the ending! nicely done! kept me entertained to the end, didn't seem too choppy or anything. definately appreciated this after my day today.
Edited on Aug 10, 3:03 p.m. because 'error'. -
This was hilarious! Very nice work! The title was almost a turn-off so I was delightfully surprised at the piece! Wonderful! The meter was a little off or so I think...But the wording and clever come-backs made this a truly fantastic poem! It take alot of skill to write something like this!
In Grace and Goodness,
-Everyones Dead -
LOL
Whoa!! What a creative bit of poetry, pretty funny to read, perfect lenth to me, i like having something to read, this was great, keep'em coming
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Ha... Mickey had it bad.. I had the mouth AND the size..hehe - in my case, I'd mouth 'em, pound 'em!!..then sit on 'em..(1-2-3!!)HAR HAR... till one day I did it to Railroad Rhonda.. she had a railroad mouth for years.. I gave her the ole one-two..but, made the mistake of trying to finish her off with the big sit on... and forgot it was summertime.. Baggies were in fashion and underwear wasn't... (Shucks...having kids is over-rated anyways). Loved your poem - looking for more... well done.
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Creative. It's cool that you could pull that same phyme scheme for so long. But then again, it seems like more than you need. I don't like the bar fight to death deal, but it's funny otherwise. Very creative.
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Wow, this is a very clever and intelligent poem. And funny! It's definately a unique and original piece. And the rhyming in it is very well written. I especially like the last two lines.
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You're welcome, my Friend...& thank you!!! Yes, YOU!!! Jocular!!! & yes, m'dear one, confusion reigns supreme...Mariza GG didn't answer you, 'silly goose'! or, in your case, 'gander'??? hehehe...You so funny!!! You soooo cool!!! LOL... I'll be talkin' to ya!!! hehehe...Wanda
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Hey Wanda,
Jocular? Moi? Thanks!
Mark
(Who didn't answer me? I'm confused.)
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You still didn't tell me what you meant, silly goose! In fact, you gave me a new one to decipher! lol
Thanks for the idea about sketch-writing. If you know anyone who's hiring in Antwerp, please let me know. I need a vacation and I'd love to see Belgium again!
Mark -
AND SHE STILL DIDN'T ANSWER YA!!! LOL!!! Ohhh, my Friend!!! This is hilarious!!! I expected it to be...but OMG!!! Not quite this full of frivolity ~ jocularity ~ bizarre stretch o'humor!!! Bravo, Mark...just Bravo.....Wanda
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Your funny stories make (let) me laugh to death. Kapot lachen is an expression used here in Antwerp, mostely by young guys. Nu, laat me lachen nog eens!
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Funny you should mention that. Why, just the other day, I was saying to a friend, "jou grappige verhalen laten me kapot lachen." (By the way, what does it mean? lol)
Thanks!
Mark -
Mickey the Mouth...lol...big mouth is only giood for one thing, to get flies inside Mark, have you ever thought on changing from job and become a sketches writer? and I mean that, your humor is so very good and quite intelligent! Of course I know your talent isn't limited to humor, far from it, but as we say here in Antwerp, jou grappige verhalen laten me kapot lachen!!!
Hugs of melting chocolate (here feels like hell so hot it is!)
Mari
Edited on Aug 09, 4:06 p.m. because ''.
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