Time paused for us.
I wanted say so many things
but nothing came out of my mouth
and my lips wouldn’t move.
The silky curve of a muscle moving
underneath your warm skin.
The soft glimmer of my ring.
Your eyes pleading with me
to give up.
Air pressure nailing me down
and moisture licking my brow.
I couldn’t breathe in our vacuum.
I had the time to love you
the worth of an eternity
during that one moment.
Until it passed.
~¤~
Author notes
Written August 8th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Good
Deep and strong feeling you experienced
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So beautiful. Congrats on such a great write!
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Amazing how an eternity can be wrapped in just one brief moment, or one pause in breathing, or in one short but forever glance....you describe such a moment wonderfully, giving it depth and passion....
However, I disagree with that this piece is "sad" ...although the moment passes and the connotation is that it's lost, that one moment can continnue forever and ever, and those feelings within that moment can continue to warm just as long....
Excellent work... -
Wow this poem is beautiful. The poem itself is like a moment, and I love the sense of calm you have achieved by this - with the 1st and last lines being separate. This poem seems so real and so happy, yet sad. It's one of my favourite poems on this site, and I've read quite a few!
Welldone
xoxoxox -
once again you have amazed me with both your words and this graphic...wonderful imagery...i am really impressed! blessed be!
anyonita -
written very well, and it was also a little sad. Keep up the good work, and never stop writing...
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good
wow i really like this poem... it was really well written.... -
Jen
So much passion and emotion this, intertwined with the warmest images
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Karen
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i really enjoyed this. a time capsule, a moment frozen in time where there is so much that fills your mind and life with such hope and passion, till it slips away. beautiful images and the style was refreshing, unlike any i've read lately. take care, now
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this is very touching, sad, mournful and beautiful. it has great flow andis easy to understand. i absolutely love it, it just reminds me of moments with my boyfriend....sigh....this is such abeautiful poem!
~Ash~ -
beautiful. and not confusing at all. touching, sad, mournful... and beautiful. a v. successful piece.
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Hmmm... Nice. I liked it. I was a little confused. But then I think I'm all clear on it now after reading it again. Good work!
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