Do you happen to be engrossed with these factious blue eyes?
Looking into them, is it your sanctum, or your demise?
Does my beauty intimidate you does it keep you away?
or do you just wonder, for my eyes have led you astray
Do you feel torpid when the beautiful blue shows?
or are you just dumbfounded for the lies have been told
my pretty blue eyes lead boys astray
or is it that they can't stand to look my way?
Answer my question, join my request
or sit and stare waiting like all of the rest...
Author notes
I have read all the rules and I under stnad them
I read paper doll by penumbrapoet
And Addiction by SwiftyBlue I commented on both
Written August 8th, 2004
A contest entry
- For those who have given 100 comments or more! by swiftlyblue.
300 points, ended August 14, 2004, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This is a very cute poem. Surprislingly enough a lot of guys are as shy of girls as girls are to guys. Although some arent shy enough, lol. But amazing poem, it's lovely and has fantastic flow. Awesome rhyming scheme. Keep up the great work!
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This is a beautiful write! I loved the imagery and impeccable flow that you used, the questioning was very effective. Hmm, my eye colour changes a lot lol. I wish you all the luck in the contest, thanks for sharing this wonderful piece. Take care, Kate
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Great job! The flow and rhyme scheme were flawless. Thanks for sharing. You did a great job with this one. Good luck in the contest! Keep up the good work, and thank you for commenting on my poem (that hasn't got a name yet, lol)
God bless you,
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Crosseyed387
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great poem i never read anythink like it before, purely unique and excelent rhyme and rhythem
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excellent!
Wonderfully done!
Some thing you women like to do, tease the young men with your eyes. LOL
Very nice and humorous write!
I like the fun you wove into this! -
I like this poem...it has a good concept...props..keep ur head up...
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Interesting poem. Don't think I have ever read one asking the reading about a certain physical trait before. My opinion...very feline...which probably (just guessing) goes in line with the personality that you display here!
Kat -
I think its your gorgeous blue eyes that lead us astray, AND enchant us....pity us poor folk with normal old brown eyes...for we are nothing
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Excellent!
Thank you for entering my contest with an original piece- I really appreciate you taking the time to give me something new!
I really like the format you used, a very nice use of couplets. The rhyme went well with the rhythm (a professor of mine said that and I loved that- kind of cheesy, but its short, and /that/ I like).
Congrats on being the shortest poem in the contest (something I both enjoy as a reader and appreciate as a judge! ) Good luck!
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