It was a day late last summer,
I went sailing on the bay,
when I left that morning,
it was a calm and peaceful day.
The day was almost over,
time to start heading back,
the wind was blowing stronger,
the sky was turning black.
I was set adrift for hours,
the sails were completely gone.
my shorts soaked with sea water,
my shirt was tattered and torn.
As I drifted near an island,
my boat sank into the bay,
I swam to reach the island,
to survive this fateful day.
It didn't take long to realize,
that I was stuck here all alone,
the hope of being rescued,
sank with my boat, it was gone.
As I gathered up some driftwood,
evening made the sky turn dark,
I forgot how to start a fire,
there wasn't even a tiny spark.
Falling asleep behind a sand dune,
I awoke cranky, hungry and sore,
I thought about my loved ones,
I may not see them anymore.
I watched as several ships sailed by,
they were not out searching for me,
my eyes caught sight of an object,
it was bobbing around in the sea.
With each wave it came closer,
the sunrise made it hard to see,
the tide pushed it unto the beach,
the contents was still a mystery.
It was a large wooden barrel,
with the lid screwed on tight,
I started twisting to the left,
opening as I twisted to the right.
The barrel came to my rescue,
it contained a pair of oars,
I jumped right in the barrel,
started to paddle away from shore,
I tried to paddle out to sea,
before the tide rolled in,
the waves were getting choppy,
then the barrel began to spin.
The barrel filled with water,
then I lost both oars,
used my hands to bale out water,
till my arms got weak and sore.
The barrel sank within an hour,
there was no one to rescue me,
now this barrel is my coffin,
at the bot ton of the sea.
Author notes
Written August 4th, 2004
In a list
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Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Mysterious way..
It remembers the time
what you were feeling
and felt
it was the most wise form
of knowing
and did you not even know?
( all knowledge
of the intimacy of the things
it is immediately a poem.)
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I was so hoping for a rescue here.... sigh.
Lovely presentation.
Your words kept me until the very end. Well done. A pleasure to read this tale, though sad, and excellent story and presentation. ~Pam
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I wasn't expecting the twist that I got reading this one! Your mode of rescue became the vehicle of your demise...so sad. Thank you for entering!
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Thanks for the nice comment Ann. I am glad you enjoyed it. Take care, Sandy
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Oh Sandy, only once I was caught in the bay, but still had the boat, this is really creative, the barrel being the coffin, wow, a good write, and it kept my attention! Excellent write, how did I miss this one, before you submitted it? LOL Best of luck, it good! Ann
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Great job Sandy, I think here and there could use some work bat all in all you've dane a good job, Keep it up.
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This was great! I loved it!! I hope you do good in the contest!! Good luck!!! God bless..
~tonya~ -
Thank you for the nice comment. Don't ever put your poems down, write for your own pleasure. I think the best poems are written with feeling and what ever pops in your mind while writing it. Take care
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Ha ha I enterd the contest but i think this one should get first place.
VERY well done
I mean VERY.
I feel ashamed about mine now. haha oh well
You should still win -
You are defiantely creative and very talented! I love this piece. I don't think melphleg read the contest that this piece was written for. You did an excellent write here!
TD -
The contest was about finding something in a barrel. That's why the oars were in the barrel. It was not meant to be a serious poem. I do appreciate your comments. Take care
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Nice story. I really thought it flowed well; however, for the tragic parts it didn't read serious enough. It needed some hard rhymes or darker imagery to create a sense of sadness.
Also the barrel containing oars was a bit of a stretch. I think it would have been better if you somehow had them made.
Still it was a delightful read. Kept my interest and had some surprises. -
Oh Sandy this poem is great, but such a sad ending. The rhyme is just fantastic, the images everything.
Great write, good luck in the contest
Take care
Elaine
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