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Freeze

Could someone please
Freeze this moment in time?
I wish to feel your lips
Gently grazing mine

Could you freeze our bodies
But not our souls?
So for eternity
I could feel your heartbeat
Close to my own

Brush the hair from my face
Trace the lines of my skin
Feel my curves, feel my depth
Sing my sweet song within

Touch me now and hold me true
So forever I shall be one with you
For a moment in time we're one body
A lifetime we're one soul

The time is to be spent with you
As we grow old and gray
So every moment I'll think of you
But only if you'll stay

Author notes

Uhm, this has got weird rhyming and meter - but this kid (in his away msg) said \
Written August 3rd, 2004

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • josh-13
    November 17, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Awww, " wierd mushy tingly feelings" damn them. This was an awesome poem, I've felt this way before, This poem is awesome and inspiring, Your such a good poet. I'm glad to have came across your stuff. josh


  • forgotten dream
    September 14, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    wow. this is just a great piece. such a warm, sweet, loving piece. i enjoyed reading this, and the idea of freezing a wonderful moment in time is something i can definitely relate too. great job <33


  • poetry within
    September 12, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    i love the part where you say as we grow old and gray,i love the sensual and romatic side of this poem it was filled wiht passion and love,everything needed to make an excellent love poem blossom into a beautiful rose,for all to adore.


  • mendee86
    September 1, 2004
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    Aww, you always know how to make me smile - for you know how much I cherish your opinion!! Thanks!


  • macandrew
    September 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Had to come back and re-read this one. Hope they allow me to applaud again.

    John

  • David Berry
    August 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    The rhyming was a little weak, but i can tell thats not really the...gist of the poem? what ever. it was wonderfully written. it was easy to read and flowed quite well. i shall give you a big round of applause


  • macandrew
    August 3, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    very good

    Wonderfully written. As we grow older these early memories do come back clearly. My wife and I were talking this weekend about our first evening spent together three years ago. The tender moments still very clear in both our minds.

    A wonderful write.
    John

1 - 7 of 7