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Ben

I once had a dog

and his name was Ben.

His pedigree, I don't know;

He came from a shelter,

one stormy old night;

All frightened and terribly ill.

He shook and he shivered;

He sneezed many times;

The doctor, he looked up his nose.

He checked him all over

and then said, he's fine.

He's fit from his head to his toes

Then Ben and me went out to tea;

To good old Auntie Mae's.

She put on a spread;

All cream cakes and bread

and hot chocolate, washing it down.

So the moral you see,

is just look at me;

A dog,

and tea





Author notes

A whimsey for my Granddaughter Abbie
Written August 1st, 2004

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 26 of 26

  • PurpleSky
    August 6, 2004
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    lol this was very cute and had a wonderful flow to it. I definatly enjoyed reading this. thank you for entering


  • cutiepie gold member
    August 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    thank you

  • I left ap
    August 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    nice write i enjoyed reading it , although i dont think you should space between every line


  • cutiepie gold member
    August 2, 2004
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    Yes I agree, but if I hadn't spaced it , it would have been tiny I am glad you enjoyed it, thank you for your comments .


  • Thathom
    August 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    It's very sweet. More of a story than a poem.
    But its sweet


  • cutiepie gold member
    August 2, 2004
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    Thank you , yes I find after writing heavier stuff, this comes as a little light relief and gives the brain a rest


  • cutiepie gold member
    August 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I am glad you enjoyed the poem, Ben is a lovely name, I am glad your b/friend shares it with the poem

  • cutiepie gold member
    August 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you NBF for the kind comments .

  • cutiepie gold member
    August 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    You are too kind Thank you .

  • cutiepie gold member
    August 2, 2004
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    Thank you It is fun writing for children

  • cutiepie gold member
    August 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Aw.....Thanks

  • cutiepie gold member
    August 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you so much, I am glad you enjoyed it

  • Muted Delirium
    August 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    This was adorable! It was so light, and quaint as well. A nice break from other poems I've read lately Keep up the good work


  • MissMandiDoll
    August 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    This was so cute i hope your grandaughter reads it soon she'll really like it i'm really sure.I had to look at this your write caught my eye right away because of the name i was like that's my boyfriends name i got to read it.Lol.It was just so cute though.I as you can see loved reading it.
    Hugs.
    Mandi


  • Thoughtful Seeker
    August 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    excellent penning

    what a great write,i reallt enjoyed this,i saw nothing wrong with it and everything right!! no miss spelled words,and the flow to this poem was sheer perfection!!! keep up the great work!!! NBF=night blooming flower


  • August 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    oh! i always love your work! it's excellent, makes me giggle, and puts a nice big smile on my face.
    great work!

  • DistantMemory
    August 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Aww, thats so nice!!! I hope she likes it because it seems like such a great poem.


  • August 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    very sweet and very cute. I like it a lot


  • inyourbloodstream
    August 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    How sweet Great write

  • Purplerose
    August 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Great

    This was a really cute poem, really nicely written, good work, great write, good job! Keep up the good work cutiepie!
    -mia

  • cutiepie gold member
    August 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, I am glad it tickled your fancy hehe


  • cutiepie gold member
    August 1, 2004
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    Thank you Not everybodys cup of tea I know, but it releaves the stresses in life


  • wattle silver member
    August 1, 2004
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    Ms Cutie, You have been busy today. Nice feel good poem. I like thank you
    Edited on Aug 01, 6:50 p.m. because ''.


  • procrastinater
    August 1, 2004
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    cute

  • cutiepie gold member
    August 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you I probably enjoyed writing it as much as she will reading it .


  • LoveBetterDays
    August 1, 2004
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    Great whimsey for your dear Abbie.. Cute, very cute.. I hope she likes it.

1 - 26 of 26