Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Dino pup

I do like that Spiderman;
Batman and Robin too.
Beetle-juice and Lone Ranger;
Betty boop is nice too.

But I sit here in my red car;
Alone and fed up with,
the fact that I have no-one;
To want to play with.

Now Jonny's got a orange cat;
And Luke has a horse.
Marianne has a creepy snake,;
And that makes it worse!

I just want a play mate,
who's blue and so tall;
A "rapter in blue "
so my toys, they dont take .

I have this small puppy,
he's growing a lot;
And when he is big,
he'll be my Dino pup.

Author notes

Hello, my name is Lynne and I am "Grannie" to 18 Granchildren.
I live in Ireland and I have asked all the faeries here to wave a magic spell to help you get well. Lots of love,
Written July 30th, 2004

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 40 of 40

  • cutiepie gold member
    September 29, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you and you are most welcome


  • veritas
    September 29, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    thank you for entering. I like the whimsical silliness of it.

  • ScReamAwAyFeaR
    August 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    humm......interesting..... well it flowed good... and rymed...but hey it was cute..
    loves
    me


  • Huntress silver member
    July 31, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    This is such a cute poem. It should go in a childrens book. Very good. Huntress


  • leo2
    July 31, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Small animals and toys and super heroes ought to please a child. It was pleasant for me to read as well.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long


  • cutiepie gold member
    July 31, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you


  • cutiepie gold member
    July 31, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    mmmm..... I see what you mean it was not intended .


  • cutiepie gold member
    July 31, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you


  • cutiepie gold member
    July 31, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you Crystal for your kind words and yes I will do just that


  • Wildequill
    July 31, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    A Maypole dance through the colours of any childs mind..flaring images - flashes and splashes, creative dashes to dreamland. Good writing.


  • July 31, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, very cute poem! And definitely simple enough for a child to understand, but it still has enough meaning that an adult would enjoy it too. Very nicely done!

  • Ladybug1962
    July 31, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    good job

    Cute poem, loved the way you set it up. However it seemed like you changed thoughts in mid poem? Not sure could just be tired eyes on my part.
    But I sit here in my red car
    alone and fed up, with
    the fact that I have no-one
    to want to play with.

    I still feel this way as an adult lol!


  • Dropp Deadd
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    it's a really cute poem!!!It's so sweet!
    great work!keep it up....awwww...so cute

  • -Aquarius-
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Aww that's cute. And yes, children ARE hard to please, helping run a daycare can teach anyone who was unsure that it's true! They do like stories though, and when you include the characters that you have, it definately keeps their attention. Might wanna change the to in the second line to "too" as I'm pretty sure that's what you meant. Once again, very cute,
    Crystal


  • cutiepie gold member
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you , I sometimes think that children are the hardest pleased. They can be harsh critics


  • Soft rayne
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    good

    I agree, a very cute poem, and I think it'swonderful that kids want to read. Good job!


  • cutiepie gold member
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you


  • loved-up
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    nice poem - really cute - perfect for a little kid xx


  • melphleg gold member
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Now a days is Scooby Doo (from our era), Rugrats, Sponge Bob and my favorite - Veggie Tales


  • cutiepie gold member
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Aw jeeze, they were the only one's I could remember hehe

  • melphleg gold member
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Cute and sweet. Definately simplistic enough for a child to understand. Kids today may know spiderman and batman, but I'm not sure they know the lone ranger, or beetle juice and betty boop
    Edited on Jul 30, 4:24 p.m. because 'forgot one'.


  • cutiepie gold member
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Great name for a dog " Troll" was he a dashund? lol


  • cutiepie gold member
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    well maybe with a touch of blue face paint it could happen? lol

  • cutiepie gold member
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Rofl! copywrite allowances? if I knew how to do it I would add some mighty dinosaurs and a blue "Dino pup"for effect but I kinda like the green dragon

  • cutiepie gold member
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks most children when asked want a red car I really enjoyed letting a little of the youngster in me come out to play Thanks for the opportunity


  • angel of your love
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    This is a really cool poem. I like how you kinda added everything that my son likes, the red car, well that is almost weird since i drive a red car...lol...and using other kids names was a nice touch...

    Thank you for entering my contest....
    Best of luck to you.
    Tammy
    Great work.


  • powerslave
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    That was a sweet write. Reminds of when i got my dog. When I went to get him I thought "hmm, that looks dog a bit like a troll". So I named him that. But yeah, great poem!

  • dancingpuppet
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, come on, this is great....a perfect poem to a little kid from his mommy. He must adore you. Great poem...


  • plinkyponk
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    every kid loves having a dog pity they dont come in blue- the dog not the kid.

  • Silver Fox
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I am sure that with a few pictures and maybe some copyright allowances you could make this one just spiffy.

  • cutiepie gold member
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Done & dusted thank you. I'm not good with capitals, commas and the like so I am always grateful for reminders .

  • cutiepie gold member
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you Miranda it was an enjoyable exercise even though I had forgotten the names of children's characters Except harry Potter !who did'nt apply


  • cutiepie gold member
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    you are right...I am a little out of touch as my youngest is 23

  • Diseased Mind
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    this is so cool! I like the dino pup thing at the end. It reminds me of this thing in a book I'm reading. This kid wants a pony but all he's got is a puppy so he calls it a pony-puppy and tries to get it to eat hay and stuff. it's hilarious. But back to your poem. I love how you named characters that are well known and it's just a really good poem. There's only one thing: I think you should capitalize "luke" in the 2nd line of the 3rd stanza.


  • MirandaNicole
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    This is really cute. I never have been able to write children's poems, so I give you lots of credit for being able to do what I can't. Well written, though it did seem a little forced in places. Thanks for sharing. Keep it up. Good luck in the contest.

    ~Miranda


  • Fantine
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting. There are some grammer issues her though. The subject seemed a little forced....It was a great idea.


  • Fangs
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    A dino pup, wonderful. I have a small kitten, named Tiger.
    Its nice how you in the first verse added spiderman, batman and robin and betty boop.


  • UnchartedPoet
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Cute.....your son should have no problem....good job


  • July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    oh! so, so cute!
    wonderful! i love it so much....you should write many children's stories..for grownups! i'm trying to write children's books, but mine are too grown up.
    this is wonderful!


  • procrastinater
    July 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    kinda cute, I'm more into deep poems and stuff, but you embraced your intended audience, so great job

1 - 40 of 40