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Summer Love. (tanka)





summer love
I did not see it leave

my heart
withers this autumn
with the leaves







Andrew Hide
28~07~2004

Author notes


Written July 29th, 2004

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • ColinSJones
    December 15, 2004
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    yes sometimes it is hard to notice when summer ends and autumn begins


  • SuZyCuE
    December 14, 2004
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    This is great. I love the double meaning of this, also I love this style of poetry. You are very talented :-)

  • StrmDncr
    September 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Oh my... That is sad. But never fear, spring will follow the winter and love will bloom again...
    Well Done, My Friend.

    I've been away so long I feel like I lost my grove but I'm working on it. Slow but sure... Hopefully my skills with sharpen in time... Talk to you soon..
    Hugs
    Pat


  • August 7, 2004
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    This is simple but just SO effective... the idea of your heart withering with the leaves reminds me of the Muller poem about the heart freezing and thawing with the river in winter. Love those kind of ideas and you've dealt with them in a really nice way here.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Damian.


  • xmissingxsockx
    August 1, 2004
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    Beautiful!

    I absolutely love this! I can definitely relate to this, the end of a summer love is tough. Great job!


  • SusanL
    July 30, 2004
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    yep. And I like the way you set it out as well. this just works. A very vivid image indeed.
    Susan

  • Pari Ali
    July 30, 2004
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    I agree with tina this is perfect! it says so much good job!


  • July 29, 2004
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    Sweet!

    Dear Andrew,

    I love the mood of your tanka. The flow from season to season is not unlike love, or summer love. Haha! I've had a couple of those already.

    On a more serious note, I am intrigued how you seperated the first two lines from the second three. Is this a different style of tanka? I have only read 5 liners without stanza breaks.

    With warm thoughts,

    larisa

  • Billbard silver member
    July 29, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Andrew.An excellent Tanka indeed.I can see the withered heart and withered leaves.You are definitely a master in the art of Japanese poetry.Bill


  • Ava Noire silver member
    July 29, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    sigh.

    Did you write this describing MY life? It really pinches an already raw nerve. This is perfect. I wouldn't dare change a thing. Seriously...it's good.


  • BillS2
    July 29, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Lovely

    Hi Andrew:
    Nice play on words with a wonderful message. We all must face that time in our lives and the Summer Love, doesn't have to refer to the months of the year, can be the seasons of our lives. Thanks for sharing this lovely write. Bill


  • Gaffer
    July 29, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Wow I love the last two lines. Expression is really portrayed strongly, a difficult task in a few short lines! Nice rhyme/repetition; it's a nice touch. I love the parallel between the ending of a season and the ending of a relationship. I really like it.

1 - 12 of 12