There's no drunks in Heaven,
so don't bring any beer,
you get sent straight to hell,
if caught drinking up here.
No cussing or swearing,
that's rule number two,
so don't say God dam it,
Satan's waiting for you.
God doesn't want fighting,
don't throw any blows,
If you knock someone out,
you're sent down below.
Don't bother the Angels,
they will fly and sing too,
so don't try to kiss one,
she may fall for you.
You'll both leave together,
and you won't be back,
you'll be living together.
down in Hell in a shack.
God does not like stealing,
so if you've stolen before,
empty out your pockets,
when you walk in the door.
Heaven is a smoke free place,
there's no cigarettes up here,
so if you can't quit smoking,
go to hell, don't smoke here.
You don't need a gun in Heaven,
shoot a bullet made of lead,
you can't kill anyone here,
they've been declared dead.
God is really not a mean man,,
he wants Heaven free of sin,
if you follow all his rules,
life everlasting will begin.
Author notes
Written July 28th, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
heheh, this is funny! I would do well as I don't smoke and I don't swear and I have never stole anything ( apart from a little choccie bar from the cupboard in the kitchen, but shhh, don't tell my mum) lol, This is so good I wanna fart! er.. I don't know why I said that.. oh well, thanx for sharing
pinkwhite xxx -
Oh bleedin heck! I guess I know where I am going then if this is true. LOL Then again, I s'pose you wouldn't have to wait to light ya smke down there
-
This is very cute. I really liked this! Very unique! Wow, I have some huge competition in this contest I can see. The rhyming was wonderful and it all flowed together quite nicely. Thanks for sharing. Good luck in the contest and keep up the excellent writing. Take it easy now and be true to yourself.
<3
Alison -
I have my views of spirituality and though they don't quite equal yours, the poem was still very enjoyable, good humor, good flow, and just all together beautiful... only thing is - 'there's no cigarettes up hear'... I think you meant 'here' and not 'hear'. Sorry, I have that English teacher in me! Thanks so much for entering!
-
Wonderful poem- I liked it a lot, it shows that living without simple sins is no sacrafice faced to the everlasting life within Heaven. I loved the faith within this and the joy. Thanks for commenting on my poem
-
What! No beer? Come on now, a long island iced tea would go perfect while sitting on a lawm chair in paradise. Perhaps the heaven is accompanied by the feelings you get from drinking, but they are hardly the cause of problems. None the less an entertaining write, I quite fancy the idea of hooking up with an angel and running away, but that too, is probably just me.
Rock On -
EXCELLENT!!!!!!!
From MoonChild55,
Hi Sandygram!!! I just got done writing you a long reply but I think I did it wrong!!! I went to my page and replied to you at the bottom of the poems...in Add a Comment. So Let Me tell you, I LOVED your poem,"There's no Beer in Heaven." It was so true that we as God's people sometimes think that we can live like hell and then when we die we expect to go to heaven. Your poem reaches out with a little humor and alot of guidance to all...saved or unsaved. Keep up the goodwork and continue to praise God's Name!!!!! -
really good. Yes no guns please that is against Heaven's rules isn't it?
-
Sandra, I am sure God will also love this poem
I added some American questions lol, and I have been getting told off by the Brits lol, tried to make it as fair as possible -
Thanks so much for the comment. I hope God isn't made at me for laughing at Heaven. If he is blame it on Poetic Bscape, she told me to write some humorous poems. I have a good sense of humor but the fummy poems don't come as easy as the poems about love God or something patrotic. Hey, that quiz is great but there are some Bnglish terms I don't understand. Don't forget there are some Yankees from the USA in your club. Well Cheerio!
-
Oh I am glad I have my place booked in heaven, it sure sounds like my kinda place
I loved this, made me smile, You have such a wonderful talent Sandra.
Thank you for adding this poem to Kindred Reading
Take care because I care
Elaine
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
4 old applause
