here sprouted most unusually
from traveling seed
amid faint shade
of standing rock
alone
the scorching sun blazed brilliantly
lands stretching arid
to horizon
dismal expanse
my home
somewhere beneath the dry cracked ground
were my roots allayed
and so i grew
discovering
within
weary travelers one by one
in times preceding
have ventured past
and still unseen
my life
amid drear desolation vast
days long scalding dread
nights freezing pain
my heart took shape
growing
long seasons in succession passed
moon cycles swimming
resilience strong
through withered look
formed true
endlessly looking unto sky
forever reaching
comfort brooded
brewing slowly
soft peace
in great expanse of nothingness
my buds developed
and so they bloomed
for none to see
save god
Author notes
this was written in the middle of 2001. i just realized today that i have all these lists created for sharing various types of poems. this is a non-metrical, but syllabically consistent piece where each cinquain shares the same syllabic structure. hence, a "symetrical" piece of free verse.
In a list
A contest entry
- ~*Beauty*~ by AMoonOnMyWings.
350 points, ended October 24, 2004, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
-
I am fed...
When I need to just soak in kindred sounds...Bravo Z!
-
-
This poem is among the favorites of a scholastic friend of mine. I'm glad this piece resonated with you.
It's one of the best poems from my pre-study years.
-
-
Amazing piece Zahhar..you speak of beauty that many of us probably never seen..I enjoy your words..
Ruby
-
I have often come across such a bloom in the desert, an unexpected splash of color against the backdrop of ochre, gray and tan of rock and sand, conspicuous alongside the faded green of the usual vegetation.
This first person account from the rose's point of view advises that beauty exists even if unseen and unappreciated by those who pass by. We exist and have worth even if only known by ourselves and God.
Perhaps there's a lesson for postings here. There are thousands of desert roses that may never be seen. Once in awhile we stumble across one that stands out due to a coincidence of light or position for the reader who strolls these meandering trails. Even one which is never seen is not worth less for failing to have been noticed in this vast landscape.
-
people seem to like this poem for some reason. it's an older write that came to me on inspiration some years ago.
so you want me to write you a poem? i can't promise anything, but the only way that's likely to happen is if you make some effort to get to know me. i'm self-distancing by nature, so it could require time and effort. -
Great poem Erin, alot of people I know refer to me as Rose in their poetry, that's why I had to look. It's a beautiful poem, even though it's not about me. Could you write one for me, about me? As if you knew me, right? Thanks, see ya later, Catie
-
Robbwindow: take two tylenol, a hot bath, and an attitude adjustment. should help the headache quite a bit.
-
average
I am sure this is good as all the rest say so, anyway I think its time for me to log off I must have a head ache or something cause this is the secound negative feeling I've experienced in the past two minutes sorry. -
The ending is really good, the rest of it was a little bit hard to understand, but worth looking back over. The imagery in this one is really good. Thanks for entering the contest
~MOONZ -
I was enjoying your line breaks :-))... and i love the 5-line stanza's... use that often myself.
I see a lot of talent in your work, very nice stuff.
~ Wendy -
don't forget that this is put in one of my "free verse" lists. it's written in cinquains, but cinquains really are just stanzas consisting of five lines. you'll find in your poetry encyclopedia that a certain woman popularized the style of cinquain that you mentioned (i forget her name...).
-
Loved the personification of a rose. When I read the title it immediately made me think of my mother's dishes.
I do have one question however. I thought that cinquains began with two syllables and either work their way down from from eight by twos or up from two by twos until eight then ending with a two. So am I wrong? I'll have to look it up in my new book. Something tells me that you know a bit more about it than I do.
~Bezoar
Edited on Sep 03, 7:49 p.m. because ''. -
I can always count on your work to pull me in and make me think, thus taking my thoughts away from where they were previously if only for a short time. Thank you! This is wonderful and exactly what I would expect to read from your pen.
-
A wonderful write which I enjoyed reading a lot
It's got so much emotion and so much sadness within it. A deep poem which meant a lot, keep up the good work and thanks for commenting on my poem
-
Amazing
Wow. A survivor who has fought for her life and endured hardship, only to discover that the fruits of her labor cannot be shared with another mortal being. Intense, deep, and meaningful. Well done - I'm sure this poem will touch other people as deeply as it has touched me. -
A wonderful poem- I liked it a lot This is really beautiful, thanks for commenting on my poem and great write with an unusual format which fits the subject matter beautifully
-
excellent
this is inspirational...a rose grew and survive in the desert...a fighter and a survivor.
Thanx for sharing this write.
Thanx for your comment.
Best Wishes
Di -
I see beauty within this. We only have to stop and 'see' what is around us. Beauty doesn't have to mean perfect. Strenght within itself makes the imperfect perfect. I don't know if that makes any sense, but that is what I took away from this poem.
~Willow~ -
I've read this poem at least 4 times to comprehend the exact meaning of it. Among all the imageries there is a great deal of sadness. Loneliness and melancholy show very strongly in this poem. The intensity of your words makes from this poem a vivid paint of words.
A free verse poem with a very good structure, I would call it a half free verse form
Mari
Edited on Jul 25, 4:59 p.m. because ''.
Adding your comment:
1 - 19 of 19
