A seed has all its hope contained within,
And all its future so ordained within.
Beneath an ancient oak once, long I slept;
It spoke words to my thoughts maintained within:
“Without appeasing water or sun’s light,
A seed dies with its self constrained within;
“The spreading and the sprawling oaks alike
Grew only from what was ingrained within;
“These ancient oaks atop the grassy hills
Keep all our histories retained within;
“To each that comes of each we each impart
A swelling love of life sustained within;
“By sapling oaks surrounded, when I pass,
In these this essence is regained within;
“And so, when these boughs rot within the grass
A gift becomes of that restrained within;
“Now wake again Zahhar, and take my gift;
A seed from me you have obtained within.”
Author notes
out of 125 ghazals written over a 2.5 year period, this is my favorite -- and it was written nearly a year before i finished with my project of writing ghazals. so the sad truth is, in that year, i don't feel i ever outdid this ghazal.
featured in:
Muse Apprentice Guild: www.muse-apprentice-guild.com/ (Fall 2003 issue)
to learn more about the ghazal: allpoetry.com/Column/784848/all=1
Written July 8th, 2002
In a list
A contest entry
- Contemporary Thought by Muted Delirium.
300 points, ended October 21, 2004, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
lol, i remember that post on your poem "Void". that was some time ago!
glad you could make it by to have a peak at this poem. my knowledge of poetic forms in general isn't all that impressive. what you see when you look through my work are the results of studying a few particular forms very intensively over prolonged periods of time. so, i know the ghazal very well, and i know the villanelle and terzanelle very well.
i also know some general things like couplets, tercets, quatrains, etc, and i have a working knowledge of some of the more popular forms, such as the sonnet, but i know nothing about most of the more obscure forms, and i hear there are a great many of them. this is largely because, when i come into contact with some of those obscure forms, i haven't found the content or the structure interesting enough to excite my interest in that particular form. so, as i said, my focus is fairly narrow, and hence not all that impressive.
this poem "Acorn" turned out pretty well. i've always had a "thing" for the oak. they're impressive trees and quite sagely in appearance when they acquire mass and age over a few centuries. this poem was an attempt to portray some communication between the spirit of the oak and a sensitive human. turned out better than i would have hoped. this poem marked a quantum leap in my progress, too, since the material i came up with after writing this was consistently of a higher caliber than what i was producing before. i love quantum leaps of this sort. makes me feel like all the time and energy i dump into this study might be worth a thing or two. lol
anyway, if you decide to have another look in the near future, i'd like to point you to something a lot more recent, like "Fusion", which is written in a form i invented by combining the villanelle and terzanelle stanzaic structures into a single 38 line structure. "Nadir" has been writing poems using this form and they're turning out pretty well.
alrighty, time to bury my face in this large book on classical rhetoric for a while and see if it has some useful impact on my creative process.
thanks for stoping by.
-
Hi Erin,
I really admire your knowledge of poetic forms. I wish I had the discipline to study poetry as you obviously have. I don't know a ghazal from a hole in the ground, but I know this is excellent. You originally recommended that I read this one under a poem of mine called Void many, many moons ago. I guess I got a little sidetracked. Sorry about that. lol
I hope you're doing well.
Mark -
There's 125 of these?! Wow, that is amazing. As for this one, I must say that I very much enjoyed your wording throughout; When vocabulary is effectively used, and expressed, there's such a great feeling. Good luck!
-
This is really neat- definatly has a Shakesperian ring, as well as a Tolkien ring to it? Yes, very well written, and very much enjoyed. Thank you for entering, and good luck!
-
Cool. Thanks for the brilliant explanation. Keep them coming. I'm learning more and more each day.
~Bezoar -
if you hit the iambic accents in cue, the line you mention should have quite a shakesperian ring to it:
to EACH that COMES of EACH we EACH imPART
now, this is 100% grammatically correct, though idiomatically a little out-dated. here's the break-out of this sentence fragment:
to each new sapling that comes from each mature oak, we each of us impart ...
i was hoping that the content hitherto in the poem would make this clear. if not, that's okay, i actually like this line possibly more than any of the others because this is possibly the most condensed clause i've ever written to date.
-
I love it, but one line bothers me. "To each that comes of each we each impart" It's a tongue twister! Now I love tongue twisters and am actually quite good at reciting them it feels wrong in this poem. But, that is JMHO.
Excellent write. It's a new take on an age old theme.
~Bezoar
-
To write a good Ghazal is quite an accomplishment. So many have failed making their poems come across as being forced. You handled this form in your poem like a consumate pro and I can understand why you would consider this one of your best. Superb work!
-
Hello AS,
The more of these Ghazals I read, the more I come to realize the magnitude of your effort to produce such an amazing number of them.
Given the ancient nature of the form, the archaic tones are not troublesome to this reader, to include the couple of inversions to manage rhyme patterns. You manage to maintain IP throughout which is quite a trick all on its own.
I particularly like the way this one gives a subtle personification to nature, and I suspect this is also a reason for you to allow this particular poem a place of endearment for you.
Most enjoyable and one I shall re-read several times as I am considering revision of my FIRST attempt at this form.
Cheers,
Del -
I don't like the beginning too much, i guess , i dunno, it is something about the two lines together both ending with the same word, but remember i don't know shit so hey, great poem
-
I like how this write developes and the honest facts of life... everything comes from something tiny and insignificant... Great job on this!
-
I liked it much. Very Walt Whitman like, in his dreary connecting of the earth as a detailed work of art. you, as well, have conquered this. Good piece.
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
4 old applause
