"Out in the middle of Lake Ontario-o-o..."
Singing as we pedal down Barrie St.
Past the courthouse, past the university,
Speeding past the school
Where Simon Whitfield went as a kid
Zooming through the park
And miraculously crossing King without looking
Dropping bikes and running
Running and undressing both
Shoes, watch, shirt, towel?
"I'm gonna be a triathlete someday!"
You say as you dive off the pier
But I don't hear you
I'm already underwater
Tugging at the weeds
Looking for treasures
On the lake bottom
Ears ringing with
Fifteen-foot pressure
And coming up empty-handed,
Laughing and sputtering
Under the noon summer sun
Author notes
Sort of a backwards triathalon...hehe. I wrote this the day I decided to do a triathlon. Simon Whitfield, for those who don't know, is the guy who placed first in the first ever Olympic triathlon in Sydney in 2000. Needs a better title maybe...any suggestions? Perhaps it needs something else? Please be critical! 
Written July 22nd, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I agree with everyone the imagery is great. That is what a good poem does, it paints a picture for the reader.
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This is wonderful. I love how in the end (although I don't know if you meant to do this)you make the words look like a straight line so you feel yourself going under water as you read it. Very clear imagery. Well done
--hazel -
thanks skydancer! i love creating images with my poetry.
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Thanks for the correction!
~Elsie -
I'm a triathlete, and actually it's spelled triathlon, so this kind of brought back nostalgic memories of seasons past, although I haven't ever done a backwards one, that would be fun, oh well enough of my blabbering good write
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What a bright happy poem, wonderful job. I enjoyed reading it and I didn't have to ponder it for hours to understand it ;o) LOL Sometimes its nice to read something simple and sweet like this.
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This reminded me of something I'd have to read in school as a kid, and then over analyze it. But I won't do that to you.
This was really cute. Alright, so maybe cute isn't the best word, but it is all I've got right now. I did enjoy it though, so woot. I suppose. Go you.
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Wow- wonderful imagery and wonderful idea, I liked this poem a lot and found it quite personal. Thanks for commenting on my work
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What lovely imagery this piece brings out. I myself do not know this place you write of but through your lovely words and imagery I now do!
~Nikki~ -
I know that place! I lived there for two years, and I knew a guy who knew Simon Whitfield (like everyone there didn't). Actually, this guy ran on the same team as Simon Whitfield. It brought back such memories. I love that place.
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