You hide so solemn and secret behind, the confines you've created so discretely inside.
I'm reaching out, reaching for you.
Waiting for the moment to pull you through.
You simply stare, thoughtless and idle, the foundation flawless, it's purpose to beguile.
Stones begin to give, break into the outside.
What are you waiting for? It's time to decide.
A single stone shifts slightly aside, only enough for my hand to reach inside.
Take my hand I'll pull you through.
It's time to decide, I'll be waiting for you.
Author notes
Written July 22nd, 2004
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Bravo!
This would make a good basis for a song/ballad. I liked it, think its pretty well written. Keep it up Phed!! -
Stupendous
Compelling indeed, coaxing someone from behind the walls they create to keep people out is no easy feat. To take your hand would mean exposing themself fully and risking the judgement they feared when they created the wall.
Tread softly, it is me that you walk upon...I don't know if I created that or if I read it somewhere in a book. This poem makes me think of it either way.
Wonderful!! -
Very good piece. I just had to read it a few times, and it became more and more compelling each time. The flow and visuals are excellent. You make the mind seem like a prison, trapping the person inside themselves. I would also like to give you credit for word usage. Congrats.
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excellent
very good piece again...
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