I've been told not to turn away
From the path laid out for me
But it's so hard, you know
There's always something in my way
On my own
It carried me away, the darkness
I have no strength to get through
Because it's so hard, I know
To take the deepest breath
On my own
Should I dare to believe?
Let the darkness cover me?
Don't let it be so hard to grow
And be the best I can be
On my own
Author notes
Written on 22nd July 2004 at 01:35 GMT
"To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when stars shine brightest."
In a list
- written for contests • next in list
- the art of depression • next in list
- 11-20 • next in list
- rhyme: none • next in list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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No, not really, you basically re-said what I thought it was about to begin with. I realized it was no longer a contest poem also and didn't bother to edit.
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Your comment made me think you were reading a completely different poem to the one I had written. The conclusion of the poem was saying that I had to be positive and become the best I could be, by not letting the darkness overcome. And this isn't a contest poem. Originally it was, like a year ago, but not now. Thank you for your brutal honesty, but I think you needed to look a bit closely in future.
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Blah, this one seems too cliche for me. Woe is me life is hard I don't know what I am going to do with myself!! :/ I don't like it, I wish you the best of luck with the contest though.
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I liked the last four lines a lot. Especially the last one. It's a really really good poem. Good luck on your other poems and don't forget to keep up the good work!
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This was a beautiful poem exploring the choice to move away from the darkness - never an easy choice. Your imagery is strong and the conflict is played out well. Good job!
- Anne -
Thanx a lot. I may take up that offer some time. You inspired me to set up my own contest. Because writing for your contest helped me, I thought I would see if other people had poems that would give me the same help. Let's hope I get some response. Thanx again.
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This is wonderful. You did such a good job relating it to the quote. I am glad that this helped you. My father is bp too. So I know what it must be like for you. Thank you for entering and good luck. (And if you'd ever like to talk feel free to im me. My sn are on my author page)
Jessica
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