Laying my head so gently
upon your chest,
a gigantic smile upon my face.
A soft bed for your fingers,
you lovingly caress my curly locks.
A soft tingle runs down my spine
enveloping my soul
as contentedly, you purr.
Your hand finds home again
upon my warm chest,
and you giggle as you feel
the drum beat faster,
in perfect rhythm with yours.
You, a virtuoso
strum my heartstrings
as we make beautiful music
Together.
Staring deep into your eyes,
My sentiment is mirrored
our Love is the sun
and the rest of the world,
ensnared in our gravity,
spins around us.
I behold you alone
as the rest smile in veneration
left to bask forever
in the light we shine.
Author notes
Written July 21st, 2004
A contest entry
- ~HeLLaKeWL PoEtZ~ Second Group Contest by Lady Christian.
300 points, ended November 14, 2004, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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sigh how romantic!
Just thought I'd drop by and say hi and see some of your new stuff..in love, eh? congrats!!!
Hope you stay happy
Princess -
Wow, this is awesome...very neat...I love the drum beat of the heart and you described him as a virtuoso, good stuff darling, good good stuff!
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I never realized how beautiful your writing was Ark, I think I shall read more when i have the time. The lines You, a virtuoso strum my heartstrings as we make beautiful music Together really, really grabbed me good. I can't figure out which one I like the best for the contest though, lol
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ahhhhhhhh...
the touch of sweet love as it permiates the heart & soul.
yes this reminds me of memories of days past!
I did enjoy this!
Keep penning one one stroke at a time!
Bill -
aww.....this is totally sweet! the title caught my eye, and i'm glad i read it! i'm not usually a fan of love poems, but this is just......yea, so sweet! great write!
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::speechless:: Yeah i really wanted to comemnt but I cant find the right words to describe how this made me feel. Wow. Umm.. Yeah wow
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This was awesome!!!!! I'm not a usually a big fan of poems that don't rhyme, but this was really good...You did a great job!
~surferxchik -
I have to admit that at first I thought I was just going to read through the familiar misty-eyed love poem. But after the line "our love is the sun" that familiarity was rescued by the injection of some genuine creativity. Nice job.
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Awww...this was lovely. Very romantic and filled with beauty that only love can bring to us. I liked the gentle cadance of this piece, it had a nice flow and the imagery was both tender and touching. Very nice write.
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a beautiful piece sweet and loving, the only critique i can offer is i would change strum to strumming but its your poem and is still a great write
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so beautiful.....man...i love this one
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nicely done
i'm not saying this because i'm your sister,but this is fucking awesome!I love the comparisons and metaphors you use in all of your works.This work is good enough to have taken you weeks to think up.How do you just get this stuff off the top of your head?well,thanks for applauding my poem Respect. -
*tears come to eyes* I told you it would happen and you didn't believe me and I'm so glad you've found it... *hugs tightly* good luck my friend
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I'm glad you've found Love my friend. This was a beautiful write. So many wonderful visions and feelings inside of this. I wish you my best. Your friend, Jason
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nice piece...it was a bit too 'mushy' or sentimental or whatever for my taste, but that's just one opinion and in any case the poem is beautiful and makes you feel 'all warm and fuzzy inside'. or...whatever lol. anyhoo, nifty work ^.^
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Beautiful desc. and emotion in it... this was deffinatly a sweet poem, i wish i could have a guy like that *cries* hahaha, good write
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*mouth drops open* wow.. this was so SWEET. and BEAUTIFUL. I loved it so much. This is SO me and my wonderful boyfriend Kevin. Made me think of him... awww........You did a freakin awesome job. Rock ON. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Amanda~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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this leaves one touching those memories & echoes of the heart and soul...whistling almost in breeze......never wanting to let go.
this is how I see this.
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill -
well written
oh ark,this is beauteous,i really enjoyed it!! i knew your dry spell would end,and when it did,look what fantastic poetry flows from your head!!! how wonderful,i'm so proud of you!! this was a very romantic and captivating poem,keep up the great work,as always you shine like the star you truly are,hugs nbf=night blooming flower
and 
for you!!!!!
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This is really cool it could have so many meanings that it cant really be pinpointed. My favorite is:
Staring deep into your eyes,
My sentiment is mirrored
our Love is the sun
and the rest of the world,
ensnared in our gravity,
spins around us.
I love your use of the sun and space as the proximity of your love... that is really awsume and the whole sun then... Dragonia -
frikin awesome. what can i say. frikin awesome. at first i thought you were gonna have sex. but then no. so good. no. heheee. very good
Adding your comment:
1 - 21 of 21
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