Identity

An odd amalgam of contradiction
Contorted through conformity and warped in stained glass
Through the mirror darkly stares the image,
The projection of selves separate and yet altogether linked.

Their weary forms haunt and cast shadows on the present
Lurk in yesterdays half-concealed by memories,
Revealed through reveries for tomorrows that linger in the foreground
Of thoughts betraying hopes and fears.

A body teeters over a brink between what was and what shall be,
Clings desperately to the railing and prays not to fall.
But to plummet is inevitable, and impact may sting less than anticipation
The terrors of “what if” giving way to steady acceptance.
But fate is a bitter word to the tongue singing praises of individualism
And destiny boxes in the strongest of men with barriers unbreakable.

So what hope have I where others have failed?
Where I struggle, my bindings grow tighter still.

And when the walls close in, walls of warped glass,
the mirrors of selves which have not yet come to pass
gawk and stare and their pasts are revealed through me
Even as their forms predict my own destiny.

I cannot succumb to the Sisters’ prophecies,
Not yet, not while my arms have strength to fight them.

I am my own.

But such were the words of those before me,
Those who failed and fell,
Those whose steps faltered on the path.
What weak talisman is individualism?
It cannot ward off the ghosts of selves half-unseen.

Where is my catcher?
Or does a body pass a body without pause?

I am fumbling and falling,
Wind-torn clothing.
“Second star to the right and straight on ‘til morning”
cannot save me. Never, never, never to be free
when time passes on without a pause
inexorably to a future.

And embracing the ground, we meet
At last, the future and I,
Impacting with both a grunt and a sigh,
To fall does not mean to admit defeat.
Or so I tell myself, picking up
and dusting off the un-broken body.

I have survived.

And when over my shoulder I peer,
It is to see images still haunting, though not so near as before—
Not ahead, but behind!
And one foot ahead of the next,
I trudge on.