Who launched the flat gray stone across the pond,
A stone now manifest and in the air
Barely above the water, gliding on?
Was it the misty void, though folded soft
Within its mystic lair of dark allure,
Who launched the flat gray stone across the pond?
A stone’s gray flight can never last for long,
Its hue in contrast with the liquid mire,
Barely above the water, gliding on.
Do waters ponder, when it lands awash
And splashes up in flight again to soar,
Who launched the flat gray stone across the pond?
Momentum slows for every skimming rock,
Too soon to sleep enfolded in the mere,
Barely above the water, gliding on.
Once it is lost from view, its motion stopped,
Ripples expand and fade; and, no-one’s there
Who launched the flat gray stone across the pond,
Barely above the water, gliding on.
Author notes
to learn more about the villanelle: allpoetry.com/Column/784856/all=1
Written May 12th, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
-
great imagery in this poem. vivid pictures of skipping stones accross ponds come into my head...disturbances of the calm water that flows. i think that ponds probably do wonder who or what disturbed their waters. this was an excellent piece of work.
luv,
*KIM* -
YAY
I must say I love the repetition between the first and last stanza
"Who launched the flat gray stone across the pond,
A stone now manifest and in the air
Barely above the water, gliding on?"
because it brings you back to the naturistic side of this poem. I think this poem takes very complex feelings and twists them into a fantastical place.
I must say I am intrigued by Villanelles, but also hate my sense of rhyme(I am horrid) and my sense of being able to keep with the rules (I discover new words that I like and simply must use them in any place I want, and forget about rules
) I think I will stick to free verse, hehe. Anywho, my point is that you did it so well here that I am simply amazed.
Consider yourself fantastic.
~Rosey. -
good job
Since I write villanelles myself, I was intrigued by this one. I always like to see how other people handle theirs, and what they have to say in the process. Interesting point of view. -
Ever since you submitted that poem of yours, "In the Shade of Suicide," I've been drawn to the villanelle. The aforementioned poem is still my favorite of yours, but I also enjoyed this. Skipping a rock across a pond or river is something that's been passed on for as long as mankind's memory can go back. It's something, though it seems minor and unimportant, that can bring two people closer, in my opinion.
-
I love villanelles.And I had to read this to mark my never having to take geology again after today!(The title reminded me of it)Good poem,nice imagery and rhythm...kudos to you!
-
Ooooh..this was MASSIVELY impressive...the image of a gliding stone across water fantastically vivid as well as wonderfully nostaligic...lol. Huge props for tackling a style most poets would rather piss their pants than attempt, myself included, lol, and the finished product was more graceful than a swan silently crossing water...marvelous write!
-
I can feel myself standing by the water's marge as i read and hear the lapping waves.....I love the magical feel to it though, the solitude and the humbling power of nature!! This is really good! Keep up the good work..Al
-
I really love this poem. It shows a feeling of great depth and sincerity. Your verbs in the context were very vivid and unique. Like the phrase if a tree falls in the woods will anyone hear it! Nice Job!
-
this was good, it took the simple action of throwing a rock across a pond, and rather deeply and exquisitely turned it around into an allegory. The words you used also had so much depth, they were excellent. very well put. good write
-
Very deep. I applaude your skills. I had to read this poem several times before I finally understood. "The true thinker is able to find the hidden meanings within the hidden meanings." Sarutobi Sasuke.
-
At first I didn't quite understand the poem. I knew there was a message but it was unclear to me, but then i read it a few more times and now that i understand it, I think it's fascinating!
-
*drools* beautiful imagery... like something I would write
just the idea that you chose is so enthralling. Couldn't improve the flow if I tried, so no qualms there! Major props, if your other work is this stirring I will definitly read more!
-
I like this poem - you've got some great imagery. Unfortunately i don't have too good a grasp of poetic forms, so ave no idea what a Villanelle is, but even ignoring that, it's a great poem. I don't normally like nature poems, but this one was so well-written that i got into it. Love the fourth stanza - the way you personify the water and give it thoughts and feelinsg - really interesting concept!!! xxxx
-
The way this poem was written, I really liked it. I don't think I've read anything like this. You write like Po. ^^ Its a very very good thing
-
Hey Erin... You create Villanelles like nature creates sunrise's.... The beauty is deeper than words could express, the reader is left in awe at the skill and exceptional structure. I am left humbled... Hugs, Liz
-
lol -- thanks for clarifying.
-
Nice read
Not bad at all, keep up the good work! -
It's not that I don't like the poem. Okay now I read over it, and it's just kinda over my head...like its deeper than my thinking at the moment. I'm sorry if I came off sounding rude or stupid or something. I just don't really understand much of the nature poems on this site. I meant the structure threw me off when I began to read it..its not a bad sturcute, just different than what I am used to...
XoXo
NiKKi -
preciousdork: so let me get this straight: you didn't read this poem, but you don't like it because it's a nature poem, but you like nature, and this poem's structure threw you off because you didn't actually read it. have i missed anything?
-
I bet if you launched me across the pond, I would die.
Let's test this theory. -
Sorry, frankly I didn't really read this. I didnt want to waste your points so Im commenting...I'm not into nature poems, even tho I love nature...The structure threw me off too, sorry!
XoXo
NiKKi -
DeBracey: there are only so many words in our english language to use in describing and defining things (this process is called selection according to the theories of semiotics). i chose "Ephemeral" as the title for this piece because the skipping stone is the allegory i chose for describing the tumultuous human life-span, which is pretty ephemeral when compared to the life of other things, like the earth, the stars, the galaxies, etc.
i don't generally have a problem with other people titling their work in a way that's similar or even the same as mine, except maybe in the case of syntagms (which are basically phrases, which gets into the theory of combination where semiotics is concerned--can you guess what i've been reading lately?). for example, if you titled your poem, "The Phantom of Wheeler Camp", or "The Lotus Tree", i might be a little distressed, but i'm just entertained and intrigued by the coincidences where one-word titles are concerned.
Edited on Dec 10, 1:29 because ''. -
Wow, what a beautiful villanelle! I hadn't expected to read a poem about skipping rocks, so that was a pleasant surprise...I'm glad that's exactly what I did find. Lovely words, the descriptions were just beautiful, and you followed the form perfectly. Wonderful job! Keep penning!
-
The theme of skimming stones is one that seems to be popular at the moment. The 'prosody' of the non-rhyming rhymes interests me. Sometimes exact technical rhyme and meter is like an architect's drawing as opposed to an artist's elevation- the former technically perfect but dead, the latter may not conform to the set square, but apears to the eye to be a truer picture. So it is with this poem. I have a contest entry (villanelle/definition form) with a similar title, 'Ephemera'. The subject is different- I did not know you had a villanelle with this title. Would you like me to change the title of my poem? I am happy to do so.
-
oh, i love the villanelle. i find it to be a difficult form for me to work with but that only makes it all the more appealing to me. this is a gorgeous poem. i was especially taken by the beautiful phrasing throughout the piece. of course i see a rich metaphor and with metaphors i always wonder if i, myself, inject too much into a write but for me they are there. many people do not use a rhythm or meter with villanelles but i find they are most beautiful with a beat. that could just be me though as i love iambic meter. (i even find it looming in my head for no apparent reason). i enjoyed this work immensely and will study it for further insight into this wonderful form.
-
Wonderful.. I think by reading this piece, you have just answered my questions. I've been writing them backward. (sorta)
I love the imagery you have put into this poem. It comes across fresh before my eyes.
See ya around.
-
this is, short, and perfect... and ripples from the poem inself spread, making me wonder, that every human life is like a stone just skimming the water's surface, that being the mysteries and secrets of eternity, and we all die, "Too soon to sleep enfolded in the mere,". and, "momentum slows for every skimming rock"- it's like, we all value our own lives, eternity slows for us, and the question of who launched the rock is, is there a God? is there a purpose? why are we here?
and all not written in a stuffy or judgemental way-- just, pond-ering. -
Wow, I agree with crisstiena, a real poem, and a real poet, at last!!! I am jealous, all i could do is vent, you write beautiful poetry, i have to add you to my favorites, your a rare!!!
-
PS I'll read yours if you'll read mine. C.
-
Bravo
At last a real poem! This is wonderful stuff.
Adding your comment:
1 - 31 of 31
27 old applause
