Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Giving In To Temptation

~~Giving In To Temptation~~


A stolen moment together
as my eyes sweep over you
my breath catches in my chest
and my heartbeat quickens
I touch you gently with my finger
and a raging torrent of emotion
swells up inside of me
threatening to engulf me
and destroy my sanity
I am beyond all reason and logic
as I slowly bring you to my mouth
and taste you as though for the first time
and then immediately i feel guilty
for I know that you are forbidden
and I ask myself the same old question
why does chocolate always taste so delicious
when I'm trying to lose weight


~~~

Author notes

DAMN!! I've been so very good to this last week and then one moment of weakness today and i undone all my good work Oh well there is always next week
Written July 16th, 2004

In a list

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • CourtJester
    April 23
    Edit | Reply

    beautiful

    I wrongfully predicted a cigarette lol, great write!

  • Apparition
    August 15, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Ah...forever the temptress. And it's chocolate that gives the siren's call. LOL. This was delightfully wicked. I loved it. And the picture...well. I think I gained a pound or two.

  • liquid voices
    July 27, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I love the twist at the end! Now I'm in a mood for chocolate...and I just ate 3 ounces of chocolate chips. You had some delicious descriptions and a lot of emotion over the velvety chocolate.

    ~lqv


  • Almighty Aphrodite gold member
    July 24, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    delicious!

    lol, how ironic! The beginning of this piece sounds so erotic, even with the background a reader's first intuition would say that this piece wasn't about chocolate! Now I'm supposed to be on a diet myself, but I don't know why I try in the first place when I'm constantly cheating with Chips Ahoy, Cheese Nips and Sprite! This piece had me laughing so much that the librarians are now looking at me like I've lost my mind or something... lol! Simply delectable writing! Thank you as always for sharing your impeccable pieces.

    Many blessings,

    Raven Aurora

  • Pari Ali
    July 17, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    tell me about it I stole my kids chocs how low can one get . Lovely descriptions of the melting brown temptress.


  • TheEnigmaOfLife
    July 16, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Ooooi Starlight do I ever know what ya mean about the blasted sweet toothies...Yeppers they are my downfall too!
    I really enjoyed this write of yours. It had me going one way for awhile and then whack...you tricky fellow chocoholic you! Excellent job here!

    ~Nikki~

  • YoLi
    July 16, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    so ture... i have a huge sweet tooth... moer like 20, but anywho... great write

  • redbull311
    July 16, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, damn. I was lookin fastball and ya threw me the off speed stuff, lol. Great job of bluffing throughout! Fun to read!

  • heartbrokengrl
    July 16, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    funny

    wow! i thought this poem had something to do with an affair or so..but then it was about sweets? lol! you caught me there! this has a great rhythm and flow, awesome! great lines btw.
    --maureen


  • Tiphanie
    July 16, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Great

    Damit...now i'm in the mood for sweets oh well:

    my breath catches in my chest
    and my heartbeat quickens
    I touch you gently with my finger
    and a raging torrent of emotion
    swells up inside of me
    threatening to engulf me
    and destroy my sanity

    Great lines.

  • Cheesy Poof
    July 16, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    excellente

    hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! This is great. Yeah, chocolate is way too hard to resist. And the backround matches perfectly. Aw man, I wanna go to See's candy now. That chocolate looks good...So hungry....

  • dryiceburns
    July 16, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    mui excellente

    haha, the end is so unexpected, the beginning could totally apply to something else... it very well expressed what i've been feeling, except i that i should care, but i honestly can't bring myself to... oh, and the true sense of the poem applies to me too, i think i ate about half a chocolate cake today, haha. great write!


  • LadyStarlight
    July 16, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    LOl.. thank you to all that have commented and to those that understand


  • earthlygoddess
    July 16, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    hahaha! This is completely MY LIFE. I can really relate, and it's SO sad! Seconds on the lips forever on the hips.... it just isn't fair! Cute write, good descriptions ---take care -mary/nevaeh


  • TheWeakPersonified
    July 16, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    this is so awesome!hehehe its very kol not what you'd expect by te name but i love it!keep up the good work


  • wattle silver member
    July 16, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow - What a wonderful poem, so well written. I know you wrote this poem just for me thank you.

  • I Divided By I
    July 16, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Hilarious With a Twist of Awesome!!

    Lol, this was a fantastic write. I really thought I was reading a love poem, but then,,,smack!!! Oh well, I guess there`s many people that have passionate love affairs with chocolate to, so it adds up. I have to disagree with shatteredme though. In my humble oppinion, poems with a twist, are the best. And yours are one of the best of the best. I really, really enjoyed reading this, gotta love chocolate, although sometimes ya wish ya didn`t=P. Once again, fantastic poem, keep em coming, sjallabais


  • tinuelena
    July 16, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    i thought it was perfect just the way it was... you know all of us on ap have the sick twisted minds that will think this is about something else until we get to the chocolate lines. it made me smile.

    it's true, too... why can't bean sprouts taste like chocolate and broccoli like ice cream? cruel, cruel world.

    nice write.

    elizabeth

  • lurkmallory
    July 16, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    i must say during the beginning of this poem it was quite exceptional but right at the end....you lost it lol...sorry but it would be great if there were a better ending....other than the last three lines...good work...just dont spoil it when trying to wrap up your thoughts hmm lol...it is funny though...but i wouldnt put so much work into something humerous...very good !

    xxshatteredxx


  • Manda137
    July 16, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    i LoVe iT!

    lol i absolutely love this! i did the same thing this week! thanx so much for writing this!

1 - 20 of 20