Refreshing is this sight that does unfold
Rooting deep within a withering chill
A frigid finger lay the ground with cold
Enveloping all the lands, dale and hill
Seeking refuge from the crunchy white pack
Trekking east to meet dawn’s rays of warm light
A camper’s load rests heavy on the back
Each knee-deep step taken a mortal fight
Splendid flakes of moisture’s design gather
Upon brow and shoulder alike of each
As beaded sweat doth begin to lather
And in front a crystalline sea of beach
Forward, onward the summit does beckon
Perhaps our minds is what calls I reckon
Seeking summits peak upon the grade high
Chilling thoughts of dangers despair hang on
As limbs search for firm holds and not to fly
Searching thoughts focused upon the goal zone
Marveling at natures sheer beauty shown
Looking downward upon the flat lands grid
Seeking treasures few will have ever known
Higher my body strains to reach full bid
Cloud cover in tufts of white lace pass by
Enshrouding the view down below my feet
Sitting at the crest where mountain meets sky
Blinded by the beauty that my eyes meet
Shadows cast long upon the end of day
The glorious sun fades from gold to gray
Author notes
The peek in the title was spelled that way on purpose. My first try at a double sonnet, and I think a sonnet for that matter. Hope you enjoy as I had a fun time writing it, or attempting it anyways.....lol. 
Written July 15th, 2004
A contest entry
- BATTLE OF THE SEXES (Males Only) by Onyx Dragon.
300 points, ended July 23, 2004, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Thanx SubastioN, Im glad that you enjoyed this write, taking in all the scenary and feeling the frigid temps....lol. Thanx for leaving a great comment and take care.
No one is around to play ball with. All this week they are gone to the camp meeting, so it will deffinately be after this week and weekend. Have you contacted the ones from many and practiced with them? -
I rally liked this poem it was great. It reminded me of mt everset and like i was there or something. But my mind wonders when the basketball day will come? Hahaha well gtg take care.
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Thanx FifthDove, It was a challenge for me I can promise you. I had alot of fun with and I appreciate you stopping in to have a read. Thank you and take care.
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This is great - perfect!!!!
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Thank you Tess Falen, I appreciate your double worded comment....lol, flawless.....lol. No really I appreciate you having a read through this one. I thought why not, it would surely load my cart a little more but you only live once and I want to get all the livin in that I can before I have to convince them to let me in the pearly gates......lol Thanx and take care of yourself.
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lol. battle of the sexes? what an odd idea. Pretty cool though. This poem was excellent and I enjoyed reading it a lot. It's rare for me to read poems this long and it's even rarer if they are written in a fixed form. The rhyming was pulled of flawlessly and there were no rhythm flaws that are too obvious. Nice write.
Almost there,
TF -
Thank you Barbara, I appreciate you looking back over this one....lol. I really enjoyed trying this new to me style out and seeing if I could do it. It took me a little while and my eyes where crossed on more than one occasion counting syllables but I was very happy with the outcome of it. Thanx for the luck as it always comes in handy sooner or later....lol. Take care.
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LMBO...I see out of the two of us which one has the imagination, and my, my what an imagination it is. I thought it would be a noble and glorious deed to best the frigid alps and marvel at the splendor after the journey was complete. I also see that you enjoy going down on the mountian instead of up.....lol. To each their own I always say.....hehehehe. Thank you for the lovely and hillarious comment galfalfa, I really appreciate it and I appreciate you. Take care of yourself and mums the word.....lol.
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I could have sworn I commented on this
Beautiful entry with wonderful imagery and emotional depth to it.
Thank you for entering and good luck with the contest
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I've experienced frost bite so i say - there are much better ways of straining one's body and breaking out into a sweat ..you've an imagination haven't you? Have a rousing game of Let's Pretend with your mate - honey, tonight i'll be the mountain climber and you'll me by next conquest - but as for climbing? nah..i'll begin at your peaks, then slide down on my ass to your valley I'm a nature lover and this sure is a beauty of a write...very impressive! Bravo!
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Thank you Onyx Dragon, I do appreciate your comment on this write. I am still looking up info on this style so that I can learn a little more about it. I appreciate you and hope that you have a grand day. Take care.
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You did a beautiful job on this and it's flawless from what I can see. Comments must be short
sorry about that but I do think it was wonderfully done. BEST OF LUCK! 
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Always pack extra socks man, I cant stress that enough. And even if you dont use them on your feet they make most excellent hand puppets, get you one of those sharpies and your never alone.......lol. Thanx for stopping in and having a read through this write. I am going to have to do some research on this style and see just what all I messed up. I appreciate the applause and the cold review. Take care.
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Whoa Ham! Duuuuude! I got frostbite on my toes just reading it
-LongRoad -
Thank you kjack for writing such a nice comment. I always appreciate your opinions on my writes. I am glad that you enjoyed the climb with me, its always nice to take a friend to the top with you to see the sights. Take care of yourself.
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This is so amazing. It almost felt like I was there in with the crystalline flakes falling upon my face. I even got a chill when I read it. Absolutely beautiful. Thanks for sharing your talents.
becca
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Thank you Nicolette, I appreciate your kind comment on this write. Yes I think this was the first one I have written. I have a new respect for writers that write sonnets I can tell you. It was tougher than I thought it was going to be, but it was fun, I think I have a long way to go like the climber I wrote about but once you get to the peak and get to see the view it makes it all worth while. I shall probably write another or two of this form, but not for a few days......lol. Thanx for reading and take care.
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What a beautiful peek at nature's beauty you've given us in this sonnet - I marvel with you at nature's sheer beauty! You did an excellent job - and this is your first try??? You should keep on doing this, my friend - you're good at it! Good luck in the contest!
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Thanx AngelDeAmor, I appreciate you reading through this. I know I have counted the syllables in this write at least a hundred times and yet I missed one. I think I got it fixed now, and I really appreciate you pointing that out so I could get it squared away. I think the hardest thing for me was to trying to keep it from sounding choppy with the limited count of syllables. It was a challenge for me and I enjoyed it.
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Thank you Desire, the only reason I didnt pop any brain cells is becuase I dont have any left after my teenage years.....lol. I appreciate you having a read through this. Take care.
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This was pretty good. Only one problem that I saw... in the sixth line of the first Sonnet. That line only had nine syllables. Other than that, it was a great attempt. I just recently made my first attempt at a Sonnet as well. It's not as easy as it looks. Good luck.
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YOU did a fine job on this write and I would have popped a brain cell trying to get this piece done~
Bravo to you and loved the imagery
Magnificent
Best wishes to you~
and much love~Desire
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Thank you Queen, I appreciate your comment on this. I think I need more work on sonnets becuase this was not as easy as other writes I have written. I still wasnt satisfied with how it felt but tommorow is the deadline and I didnt want to miss it again. It sounds kinda choppy to me, but I think this could be a really trying form of poetry for me. If it doesnt make me crazy I can only get better..........lol. Thank you for commenting on it I really appreciate your input and value your opinion. Take care.
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This is so good Hammer. Great descriptions. This turned out beautifully, Good luck to you in the contest. Queen
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