... for Juline ...
Her voice like golden harps of heaven rang,
As on a bench we sat within the night;
For me, for me alone her heart she sang.
To lucid resonance from mystic tang
Her depths of beauty shone transcendent light;
Her voice like golden harps of heaven rang.
Within my chest a soft celestial pang
Lay cradled twixt deep longing and delight;
For me, for me alone her heart she sang.
Angelic sweetness round us seemed to hang;
Divinely wrought with chords of richness bright
Her voice like golden harps of heaven rang.
Tremendous joys from depths inside me sprang;
My heart, in rapture, soared to starry height;
For me, for me alone her heart she sang.
As if emerging from an ageless pang,
I woke to living there before her sight;
Her voice like golden harps of heaven rang;
For me, for me alone her heart she sang.
Author notes
to learn more about the villanelle: allpoetry.com/Column/784856/all=1
Written July 29th, 2001
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Beautiful!
This reminds me of a crush I had...in the...um...5th grade! Now I remember...I would think really romantic stuff about him and then I realized he was an ass... not saying that this was the end of your piece i was just saying..lol such is life though...I have read this before...I think on mochinet.com .....I think I read about Juline in one of the angel letters also ...not sure if that is the same person...lol....I want to write one of these but i am afraid to start...because i know it is going to end up crappy...lol...oh well maybe i will get the guts one of these days....hope you are having a nice holiday...I am playing chess over the site right now and it is kind of funny...I am jumping up every other IM to move a piece on my board...lol
KAY
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My question at this point would be the better way to manage rhyming. Almost, the quickest response from most readers would be - oh, it rhymes.... and the rhymes are forced or feel like a 'wooden leg'.... pity there are a few left in the world that appreciate rhymes and actually seek poems that do rhyme....
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lovely
Lovely, lovely. At first I found your refrains a little stilted, but as the poem moved on, they were perfect for the mood you created, and, in answer to my earlier question on the first villanelle of yours that I read, I see you have managed to move the action on, in the last verse. Wow! Breaking the assumptions while keeping to the rules, that takes great talent. -
i enjoyed writing this one. this predates even the first ghazal (there are #125 ghazals). i wrote this before i had decided on my course of action regarding my self-education in poetry and poetics. this was also one of two poems (the other one was "Your Loss") written to demonstrate that i was capable of writing something other than free-verse when an english teacher told me i couldn't write good free verse until i have mastered poetic forms. of course, this was just her oppinion, but i still felt compelled to demonstrate that my work in free verse started well after i had spent time working with structured poetry. oddly enough, i became quite interested in structured poetry once again after this. i also wrote "Fragments" (in the terzanelles list--by far more ambitious and by far less successful than the first two villanelles) before i started the ghazal project.
about three and a half years have passed since i wrote this villanelle. i've spent this entire time deeply engrossed in the study of poetry and poetics. i feel like i've learned a lot and that i've developed as a poet, but i also feel like it's worthless knowledge and development because i can't seem to get one tiny little poem into a university published broadback periodical. this is driving me crazy... -
oh.... Sigh......
that is really lovely. It is a song, the words have a melody to them. sometimes when you mix hard and soft end sounds it can be jarring but here they play well together.
i love writting and readng villanelles and am glad I have finally ventred forth to read yours...
I think one more before I venture forth...
Susan -
very good
Another excellent poem. Seems I have a lot of villanelle catching up to do.
Thanks,
John -
Wow. This is a most powerful write. My favourite lines have got to be: "I woke to living there before her sight;
Her voice like golden harps of heaven rang;"
Fantastic in its ability to make the reader reach for the next verse, desperate to know what happens next. Excellent indeed.
Absinthe
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I really enjoy reading villanelles, you have many of them posted on your page, and I have to say that you have written wonderful ones!
Mari
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Again I see another perfect piece of prose from you. You have must have studied this form intensly. I noticed that these are all dedications to friends. I hope that they have all framed them...for these are frame worthy.
Mayhaps, I could try one and run it past you?
~ Willow ~ -
Divine
Puts a song in your heart and a tune on your lips.
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