*Her life seems to be made
Of empty promises and broken dreams
She's not so perfect..
As perfect as she seems...
So many people admire
What they see on her outside
Her perfect plastic smile
The smile she wears with pride
The honor roll student
With not one detention marked
The happy one with all the friends
Who gives you her whole heart
The pretty one she seems..
The one who makes you roll
With endless jokes and happiness
A soul just made of gold.
None of you look past
All these amazing things..
She hides it all too well,
The truth from being seen.
If you had any clue of her troubles
If you were aware
I know you wouldn't ask..
You wouldn't even care..
It's too much worry to dig within
This girl's poor tattered soul..
So you encourage the nice fake her
Until from inside out she folds.
You don't know of her insecurities
Or the battles with her mind..
You aren't aware of her heartache
That comes from simply being alive.
Have you ever thought of asking her?
If everything was okay?
Maybe someone will..
Before it's just too late..
But until then lets stick with
What you see on her outside
Her perfect plastic smile..
The smile she wears with pride.
*
Author notes
Written July 14th, 2004
A contest entry
- -Hidden Faces- by WandererofSouls.
320 points, ended December 31, 2004, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 42 of 42
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WS: WOW, great poem. as i read it again, i noticed a bunch of new phrases i loved. keep up the good work.
CSI:!!!! Great poem!! As I read it for the second time, I saw it from a new perspective!! It really sounded totally different the second time!! Very cool poem, and good luck in our contest!!~
Edited on Dec 31, 1:57 p.m. because 'b/c WS hit the submit button before it was thoroughly edited. CSI saysl kj'. -
im brand new and entered a poem myself for this contest but this is brilliant! good luck!
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great poem. wish you luck in the contest.
-WS (aka bff ^) -
Wow!! Great poem!! Me and my bff lizz are the ones who own this conest!! Best of luck!!
~
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Wow... *shakes head* There are a lot of people out there that don't look past the smiles of people who seem perfectly happy, but they really aren't. I'm beginning to suspect that my best friend is like that. Maybe I should talk to her tomorrow. Anywho, awesome work and best of luck to you in the contest
Coconut
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wow this was so good, it really kept me reading the whole way through wich is not common with me, i get bored easily. the contrasts between this girl are written very well and are kept very seperate from eachother, yet you seem to clash them together as well(if that makes sense)as far as being fake...i completely get it...barely anyone ever takes the time to get to know me. they either love me or they hate me for no good solid purpose, wich can get so frustrating so i can sort of relate. though things have changed. ivve got some really great friends now ...etc ya im rambling on well anyways great write
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LOL. I use an online dictionary! And hey, I think it's more important to be true to yourself. On occasion, when I'm not "feeling" the writing mojo, I get overly wordy and it ends up sounding horrible. So, stay true and all will be right in the world.
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Topaz would be right in this instance. Although I feel this is a good poem in and of itself, it's not a great poem. I like verbosity, big words, bigger metaphors, and this just didn't have enough for my liking at all. Good thing contests aren't judged by the same person every time, else you might not get the recognition this piece deserves. I like it, but not enough to give it a trophy. (Then again, Zini is judging this round
)
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Your subtle rudeness meets my eyes yet I still favor you. sigh Thank you for your comment *grudgingly gives you a hug*ew..
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If punctuation were pepper, I wouldn't be sneezing much here. A bit of a mixed bag, as far as rhyme goes, one moment it does, the next it doesn't.
It was kept simple with no great sweep of descriptive writing or plunges into detail. I think it is possibly the better for that. It was well spelt and the grammar was good too. Good luck in the contest. As you can see, I am just as honest with friends as strangers
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I think my reaction to this piece is like that gurl. On the outside, I'm going, jezz...can there BE a more plastic poem, swimming in its own generic filth? But in the inside I'm going, oh, GOD, that poor poor gurl (SOB!), and wow, that's a really deep piece, lol. So I guess I'm torn about this one...and on one hand I can go, this could have been SO much more original...subject matter, style, metaphors, yaddayaddayadda...but on the other hand, it could be fucking BRILLIANT cause it's being deliciously snide BECAUSE it's parodying such trite situations! lol But overall, I liked it...especially that last stanza...so I'll shut up now and go into a corner to ponder over its stunning duality.
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aww thank u very much for your comment
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...Wow. That was a really awesome poem and you definitely deserve to be a finalist. I truly mean this when I say: Good luck in this contest, though I really don't think you need it. That was a truly wonderful piece and it reminds me of a few short version of what I've written that are not yet posted here. It was wonderful. Please do us all the honor of writing more exquisite pieces.
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isnt this a brittany spears song?
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Thanks very much for your applaud and comment
It means alot, I added you to my favorites list too. So I hope we can keep in contact and stuff..thanks again 
-Jenn- -
wow. that's all i have to say. this poem is amazing. i am so speechless. i love every bit of it. you are very talented. I felt like crying when i read it. but thats a good thing. its touching and i loved it. thanx for posting it! great work. i'll be sure to read more
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There can be so much turmoil hidden behind a perfect smile. You have written an exceptional poem about that. Thank you for entering the contest.
~whisper
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This is very sad, yet really quite hopeful too. I agree with fadgindreams, you only speak the truth when people aren't looking. It's the way we all are. Well, me anyway.
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OMG !!!!!!!!!! i love this poem so much. this is so good.. i almost felt like crying b/c its like the way you write.. you can imagine it as yourself.. well i know i could. i felt like i could be that gurl which at times i do feel like that. you have a hidden agenda that ppl dont know about and it truly hurts.. when someone asks you whats wrong and you say "nothing.." but then as they turn around you say "everything..." this poem again is a heartfelt write. i hope you continue you the good work!!!!! i'll be reading ur work more often..
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Excellent !
A sad story told with insight and sensitivity. Well written. Brought tears to my eyes. -
Wow this poem is amazing.Its one of those poems that makes you stand back and think about things and the staring deeper into someone's soul and seeing the real them.This was written beautifully.The rhythm the flow all was amazing.So much depth and such an impacting poem.It takes you into a world no one would ever suspected.I have a feeling alot of people could relate to this.Blessed Be,Tom
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A very emotional write, it is true that all anyone ever sees is the mask, no one ever wants to look underneath to see something they might not understand........... A truly heartfelt write, thanks for sharing
take care
sanity
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wonderful
I have a similar poem on my computer.
This one is an excellent write.
so true
so real
wonderful write
keep it up
thanks for sharing
KEEP WRITING great pieces like this!
-->aref -
Excellent work!
Does anyone ever really know another's true self? I think we all have that deepest part of us that is only known to ourselves... and some are better at hiding what is under the surface than most... some people just don't care to see beyond the surface skin we wear...
AVoiceWithin, I came here as a courtesy after entering your contest... but I stayed to read because I am truly impressed. This poem and others I've read are consistantly well-written and have depth of meaning. They speak to the heart of deep emotional and spiritual pain, love and being.
Very well done. I'm glad to have met you through your poetry and I will certainly make the effort to come back and read again...
Regards and respect to you,
Serenem~Melinda -
Good job
Preach it! WHat a great and very true perception to put into a poem. Your rhyme was awesome it flowed with no stuttering , every line is smooth. All in all a good poem! -
Superb
I love the whole poem, but I think the 8th stanza is the best. I love the descriptions, as well. Nice work!
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omg i love this poem!!!!i love the point of this poem.....its such a good poem!!!i love it sooo much.thanks for entering!!
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Well Done. This is a very impressive write. You described it so well and got me feeling so sorry for those who wear that plastic smile. Which I pull out now and again but not much these days. This is really terrific. You made feel a part of this person life and how much she is hiding her true self from the world through wearing that plastic smile. The flow and rhythm was excellent. I truly enjoyed that piece. Thank you
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I love this.This poem really does show how people can hide whats truely going on inside and no one truely know or even ask if their okay. I love this poem very much.It tells a very good message.Exclent work.Keep it up.
Pleasent Nights /f
Darkangel -
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It's amazing. I love it. I wish I could have finished reading it but I started getting a bit too sad and bleary-eyed. That's ok, though. Maybe it was just because I somewhat feel like her sometimes, because people keep telling me things like how great I am when I'm just kind of like, "What's wrong with you?" I don't know...It seemed to be something like that to me. Maybe I'm wrong, but people read into things what they will.
-DafT-
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Aw
Im so sorry about your friend..I hope you've gotten through it okay..It happens to the best of us huh..I didnt mean to make you cry! But I'm so glad you liked it, thank you so much Have a great day!
~Jenn~ -
Speechless
This poem really touched me. I used to have a friends who always wanted to be perfect and go far in life. She was number one in my class in middle school. No one knew that she was depressed because she could hide it so well. She committed suicide three months later nad no one knew of her depression until the police checked her wrist. This poem made me cry because not only did it remind of her but it was so beautiful. I'm speechless. -
Wow this was REALLY amazing. It is kinda how I feel except I am not engaged or pregnant or cut myself even though I feel like I have scars in the inside and stuff. I can relate to this...I am a girl who makes the honor roll, and makes everyone else happy with my smiles and stuff but I hide SOOO much that people don't know. A smile is a really good guard from what you really feel, it keeps you safe in a way I guess. This part really related to me..."You don't know of her insecurities Or the battles with her mind.. You aren't aware of her heartache That comes from simply being alive." That is REALLY good...I really enjoy reading your writings keep it up your a very talented girl. GREAT JOB...peace and love *brandi*
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Thanks so much Boe It's so great because it's seeming like SO many people can relate to it..I never though id get so much positive feedback! OH and I saw that you joined my group!!!! That's so great!! Ur the only one so far..HaHa..so if you could try to get some people you know in it..I don't know what we're gonna do yet..I'll think of somthing..I've been So busy with the adopt a poet stuff..I have everyone A-K..I gotta match u up 2! anyway have a great nite
~Jenn~ -
Damn!!! This was amazing!!!! My jaw just dropped as a I read this. I am speechless. I can relate with this piece so much. Good luck in the contest Jenn!
---BOE--- -
This is absolutely amazing,and made me do some deep thinking about others around me and even myself.I wish you very much luck in this contest.The words you have written here makes my little poem seem so selfish and trivial. Jacki
Edited on Jul 15, 9:26 p.m. because 'never learned to spell'. -
Wow i like how it kinda changes on you, that awesome! i really like the meaning of this poem. i know what your talking about!!But your poem is really good very well writin! i like it alot. Your a great poet. keep up the great work. thanks for enter the contest! GOOD LUCK!!! and check out some of my poems!
always~
Whitney aka Different -
Hey thanks SO much for your encouragement on my poetry..I always think its sucky but then I get amazing comments from you guys and it really lifts me up. thanks so much. I'm sorry ur goin through similiar things kay. It seems like alot of us are huh? You know I was thinking of maybe makin a group here at AP for ppl like us..maybe you and me can lead it or sumthin lol i dunno ill look into it 2nite and get back to ya have a great nite..
-(JeNn)- -
I'm sure you know from reading my stuff how this just described me..cept im not pregnant.. It's a great write hun. No one EVER looks past tha smile on your face to see your true inside.. and once someone does, most of the time they shrug it off cuz they dont want to be part of your "mess" You stated everything so well. I wish I could write like you do. Lately I havent been able to write anything worth posting. Keep up the good work. ANd great write. If u ever need to talk IM me sumtime I remember u said u have yahoo.. Im seczybabygurl..
<3KaY -
10/10
wow this is really well written.Love the flow to it and how well you could understand it.Well good job again and keep up the wonderful work!
sadie -
Besides the suicide and cuts, and baby parts...you've perfectly described my friend Jessie who died last year. She was so beautiful, and tried to be so perfect, thats all anyone ever wanted. But truth is, the last year of her life, she wasnt the happiest, but she had to pretend, often as I do. Its sad, and this poem just made me break down. Thanks for sharing, good work, LaLa
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You have no idea how much this poem hit home. For me anyways. I am honour roll student, and I don't have a specific clique of my own. I just sort of drift everywhere. I have gone through quite a few depressing times for different reasons, and well it was like you read my mind when you wrote this. (Except I'm not pregnant, or engaged...)I noticed that this was in the eprsonal category. If you are going through this, then I wish you the best of luck in getting through it. If it is about a friend, then I wish her luck as well. Very nice write, the rhyming was flawless.
-morgana
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