If bricks could tell, if mortar told
Of eras past and ages old,
What kinds of things would we then learn
Which would be lost with seasons turn?
All time's enigmas would unfold
If bricks could tell, if mortar told.
Each link, each clue to us they'd yield,
Until the riddles are revealed.
Dear moments lost would then be found;
No more in yesterdays be bound,
If bricks could tell, if mortar told
No longer all their secrets hold.
Then time would have no lasting waste,
For mem'ries would not be erased
And ne'er be locked in limbo's cold,
If bricks could tell, if mortar told.
Author notes
This has been a labour of love/hate! I loved the whole idea behind what I was writing, but it soon turned to hate as I struggled to form the last stanza! But I've finally done it, and it's staying like that now! Dari xxx
P.s, thankyou to kirbysman for help with punctuation!!!
Written July 12th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Inspirations by bewareofcarrots.
333 points, ended July 29, 2004, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
-
Oh, this IS extremely well done throughout. A most difficult form at best to pull off well... a nice job here....
-
wow
wowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwow
-
Excellent!
Beautiful sentiment, succintly told!
-
Great piece, I loved the inspiration behind this. The rhyme was great and I liked the use of repetition. Congrats on the silver.
Pozo
-
wow.....this is really really good. and i don't usually think that about poetry. but this is really really good. just....idk, the epic phrasing of it is perfect, perfect rhyme & time unlike so many poets on this site that can't do the whole meter thing......idk, it's just amazing and bittersweet and wonderfully heroic.
-
Amaaaaazing!
Haha, sorry I'm in a really weird mood and I read this and had to comment, and I'm sorry if my comment is extremely shallow, but im... shall we say, happy-go-lucky right, now. Like, I would love to skip in circles singing this poem. I love the repetition and the imagery, and most importantly, the absence of cliche. Of course, an absence of cliche makes it good on the spot, but I can tell a lot of work went into this, and I could never get something like this out of my head and onto paper.
A lovely write!
But its funny, because im in a horrible mood. -
trying to dig out memories from'eras past and ages old 'from mortar and bricks, with the smooth flow of words and a feeling of nostalgia is really beautiful....
-
I usually hate form and rhyme but this was brilliant. Amazing work... just amazing.
-
wow, I am completely awestruck!! That is an awesome peice!!
"If bricks could tell, if mortar told"
That line is so powerfuland the fact that you repeat it all throughout your poem adds strength to the rest of it!!! an absolutely brilliant peice!!
-
Very nice poe,m. I think it was fine and what is imnportant is the message in the poem. Some poems don't even use punctation and the poem won a silver so congrats on your trophy.
-
Wonderful
I loved the form here! I might have to try it out myself!
But your wording and imagery were superb! Such a mellow, yet haunting piece. Lovely job, and congrats on the trophy! You deserved it! 
-
Veeery beautiful.
-
Lovely flow
I have thought the same very often but never expressed it in verse. this flows so sweetly it was a pleasure to read especially aloud Well Done!
-
I absolutely loved this. The thought of old buildings and houses being able to tell us their stories has always been intriguing to me. I loved the repetition of the title in each stanza. As for your last stanza and your struggle to form it, well dear poet, it is the icing on the cake and you did a superb job with it. This is a most beautiful poem. Your friend in Poetry, Mysty Rain
-
wonderfully written quatern. I myself loved it. Hey, the best ones are the ones that turn to hate when we become frustrated. Thx for sharing. -Inc."
-
Awesome structure, great poem so well deserved trophy
-
Hmm, hard to read against the background unfortunately
Great repetition, and I enjoyed the theme and the image that the repetated line evoked. So much history! Perhaps arrange into more seperate stanas. Also, I always complain about disliking centered poems Great work!
-
This is a pretty snazzy poem. I enjoyed the rhyme scheme and your use of the phrase "if bricks could tell, if mortar told" by progressing it through the lines is a neat idea.
The thing that caught me about this poem is the idea of what could brick and mortar tell us if only they could speak. But, really, isnt us that needs to learn thier language? We can already learn so much from the composistion, the age, the placement, the weathering, etc of bricks and buildings, all it takes is our imagination to supply the words. I could see this poem above the desk of some archeologist or historian, as an inspriation to their skilled imagination. Excellent poem.
-
beautiful wite well earned trophy....freda
-
Excellent write! The flow and rhyme were flawless. I'm sure we would learn quite a lot if truly the walls could talk! Enjoyed reading!
-
Very nice, Darianna! You did a great job here, I enjoyed reading it - you're good!
~ becky
-
This one is WONDERFUL!!!! If not the best, then one of the 3 best. You have a knack, lady. Great job. Dad
-
Oh my dear this is so beautiful! I truly think this is the best yet!
M -
Excellent
Hi,
This was absolutely perfect my friend! The flow was smooth as silk on satin and the phrasing was just beautiful indeed. The imagery was wonderful and the descriptions were perfect. Thanks for sharing this wonderful form with me. This is a masterpiece
--Johnny -
nice. i liked it a lot. all original. loved the backround. goes with the poem.
thanks 4 the coment.
keep up the great work. bye bye
Noor.. -
perfect
Woaaa, heheheh, Thats So cool Mo, oh man.. I think your "poetical" ideas in that poem about if bricks could tell are way better than the ones i came up with on msn
, Thats such a excellent poem its unreal, especially this bit
"If bricks could tell, if mortar told
No longer all their secrets hold."
...How Good is that !!
Oh man
Such an original idea too,
Im well impressed
Nice write Mo
, I love it
And the Wallpaper u chose for it, mann..too good
Edited on Jul 16, 10:04 because 'Cant spell'.
-
oh honey, you did an EXCELLENT job on this piece! Very talented, unique thing to write about as well and I must say it was definately a descriptive and enjoyable read. Well done
-
Darianna, this was brilliant, very original obviously, I like it ALOTTT!!!
-
this is the first quatern i have read and understood - more powewr to that elbow hunny!
i really like the transition from verse to verse - the rhyme is professional too
well done
elaine
-
ahhhhhhhh! seriously, this is so amazing!
usually i don't like rhyming poems and poems with meter... i'm such a freeverse girl... but this was a masterpiece. i'm astonished. well done.
elizabeth -
i get that socioty learns nothing on past ages and that if we could unlock some great history we'd all be smarter. Actually i get nothing but this is my friends point of view, sorry
-
i feel like i am just staring at a brick wall here. oh hang on lol i am. i like it - i have the urge to take up the building trade. fights urge with a big stick. it is a good poem.
-
I love it I love it I love it!
... did I mention I love it? I think it's very well written.
Adding your comment:
1 - 33 of 33
