Laughter, chatting,
The room seems so cheery
Oh what a party
How can anything seem dreary?
I'm here with my buds
The best anyone can have
Without them here
Things wouldn't be so fab.
"Hey, want a soda?"
Says my closest friend with a smile.
"Oh sure, why not."
I reply, not having any for a while.
The laughter, the chatting;
It suddenly starts to fade.
I can't even hear up close
The things that are said.
Spinning, my heart sinks.
What is going on?
I knew that soda was funny.
My evening's now gone wrong.
Sitting down, I close my eyes,
Hoping this awkwardness will stop.
I feel arms grasp around me,
Then suddenly I'm dropped.
Unable to move, I look around,
Trying to see who is here.
Finding your face, I'm silent with shock
As now I'm drained of my fear.
My friend, it's you!
That soda you gave me was bad.
I try to tell you this
But numbness takes over my head.
Suddenly confused, I'm lifted up.
My legs and arms, I can't move them!
My friend, what are you doing?
The fear expanding upon me again.
My eyes close, I am totally immobile.
I feel myself move this way and that.
But moving on my own, I am not.
Molded like your clay, or a doll at that.
A breeze brushes against me
As my shirt is quickly lifted.
Roughly, hands snatch at my undergarments
The mood in the room now shifted.
Silently I scream, beg, and plea.
These things, my dear friend,
That you are now doing to me...
Oh please let it end!
Frozen in horror, my thoughts collide.
Finally, I gave up my inner pleas.
I scold myself surely
This could have been avoided with ease!
Fingers press, reach around all over me.
Feeling me up, down, everywhere.
Naked, cold and now ashamed
I know I never should have come here.
Suddenly, a sharp pain occurs
I want to scream out and cry.
The heat of your body now inside me
Just makes me want to die.
Faster, you press on and on
Grunting with your own lustful desire.
You continue even harder and deeper,
My innards seem as if they're on fire!
You shudder, oh my old dear friend.
You grunt and you moan.
After what seems like an eternity
I get the feeling you're now done.
Left to lay there the rest of the night
You up and just leave me.
Slowly my mind drifts and I sleep
Haunted by such immorality.
Oh, my dear friend, you see
How I wish this was something I won't remember.
This is what can happen while accepting
Drinks and things from not even a stranger.
Author notes
I realize that in writing this piece the way I felt best may not have been the most decent choice. Several issues have come to my attention, such that as the way I rhymed and how such a dramatic piece can have a "sing/song" tone to it with the rhyming.
I understand that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and each and every one of your critiques are taken into consideration.
My reasoning for adding the rhyming to this piece was to lighten the burden of actually drawing out this occurrance. I realize a freestyle or story version may have made my point more clearer but for that I'd have to bring myself to more details about this occurrance which I am not even over myself. This happened just a month and a half ago.
This happening was very traumatic for myself and being 'lectured' about the way I wrote it does not help any. I only wrote this as a warning or a word of caution for those who may fall into this situation.
I'm not saying that in critiquing this piece, those of you who did, are in the wrong by doing so. I appreciate the time and effort put into reading this piece and coming up with ideas to make it better.
But it's only made dealing with this issue even worse. I thought I could push the situation aside by making this poem more "sing/song"ish but it seems that because of that, several people have issues with it. I wrote this piece this way for my own benefit.
If you'd like for me to draw out the rape scene as it happened then I will. If you're wanting it to be more depressing and less "sing/song"ish then I will. But it is hard to pull details such as that out of my occurrance to make this piece more dramatic or powerful. Either way my point got across.
I am sorry if I may sound "hostile" about this, but really, this issue has become worse since I wrote it, may as well delete this and say "good luck" to those of you who could have learned this lesson through me but ended up with it the hard way.
Written July 12th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Heart-wrenching
DON'T YOU DARE CHANGE THIS!! DON'T YOU DARE!! I can't believe you would think that. I didn't read any of te comments up there, but if anybody said that they should be shot. Seriously, you have the right to express yourself anyway you damn well please. Okay, enough ranting...
Thank you so much for your comment on Tragic, it really means a lot to me. I didn't know the guy who raped me, but I do now. It was about almost 2 years ago... Anyway, this piece holds so much emotion, so many different feelings. But of course, you know this. I can't say anything more than that I know that I don't know you, but I feel a certain pride that you posted this. Thank you.
~Love Kal~ -
Thank you for your kind comment Black Lace. Thank you for understanding that there is obviously a reason I wrote this in rhyming form. As I told those who disliked it, I wrote it this way to take away the negtativity because who really wants to read a gory detailed piece on date rape? That's just sick. The point in writing this wasn't to go into detail but was to get a good point across. Thank you again for understanding and for enjoying my poem.
-Serenity-
Edited on Aug 23, 10:16 because 'dang typo'. -
I love a write that takes you right into the story with them. This one seems to do that. Don't worry about the rhym, some like it and some don't. Do what feels good to you.
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I applaud the statemenmt you are trying to make with the poem. I hope that it helps some people, but I am not a fan of rhyming poetry, and when it is a subject this serious, I think it takes away from the message... gives it a sing/songy sound when read out loud.
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Wow...what a touching write. This poem spoke volumes to me. Even though an experience like this has never happened to me, the way you write, it almost seems if it has. It was very powerful. It is very important that we raise awareness about these types of things.
The lines that spoke to me the loudest howver were these:
"Suddenly, a sharp pain occurs
I want to scream out and cry.
The heat of your body now inside me
Just makes me want to die."
as they seem so real
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Good write, keep it up.
your pal Dent -
I give you so much credit for writing this. I'm sorry you had to deal with this and I think you need to know that you are so far from alone. Your words scream out to many, hopefully they will listen. I agree with Catressa. You have no idea how this impacts the rest of your life dear. GOod writing but do talk this out in real life also.
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First off as you can see your not alone, second see yourself as this A SURVIVOR,not a victim. When you go through something like this, it tears at you from the inside out. You need to talk to someone in your life not just us on the computer, a trusted friend, parent, counselor. Someone. SILENT VICTIMS : One of the most startling aspects of sex crimes is how many go unreported. The most common reasons given by women for not reporting these crimes are the belief that it is a private or personal matter and the fear of reprisal from the assailant.Somewhere in America, a woman is raped every 2 minutes, according to the U.S. Department of Justice. And Aaron is right, 85% of them know their assailant. Sad thing is Survivors of rape often manifest long-term symptoms of chronic headaches,18, fatigue20, sleep disturbance20, recurrent nausea,20 decreased appetite,21 eating disorders,22 menstrual pain,18 sexual dysfunction,23 and suicide attempts.21 In a longitudinal study, sexual assault was found to increase the odds of substance abuse by a factor of 2.5.24 .Fight the Odds hon, get help, Don't allow this person to still have power over you. Take back you and your rights to a peaceful existence. Should you need A FRIEND, EAR, or shoulder, I am here, This was a very sad distraught write, Catressa
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Left to lay there the rest of the night
You up and just leave me.
Slowly my mind drifts and I sleep
Haunted by such immorality.
Oh, my dear friend, you see
How I wish this was something I won't remember.
This is what can happen while accepting
Drinks and things from not even a stranger.
That was so sad....85 percent of rapes occur from somebody the girl knows...and people forget about that. It's really a disgusting thing, this date rape drug it's like you can't even trust your own friends. Very well written I'm sorry this happened to you sweetheart.. gives her a huge hug....not your fault, that asshole needs to be in jail.....very sad write babe. -
A universe of stars
Rape of any kind is one of the worst things one human being can do to another. You brought out the emotions so well, I had to cry. Though never date raped, I can relate to several rapes in my life (yeah, I was lucky (???) to have it happen more than once. The challenges to overcome the resulting fears, shame and the feeling that it is your fault can overwhelm one. I had counseling, friends and so forth to assist me to turn it all around. That and my sense of humor is warped enough to force me to make the incidents into an anecdote. Two of the rapes occured in '90 on my birthday...Sheesh. Oh well, life does go on. Love this piece. Very powerful!!!
Rose
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excells beyond words
this was an excellent write,it flowed well and i saw it as absolutely perfect!! plus,it has a very powerful warning in it!! trust noone,not even a friend,because sometimes a friend turns out to be your greatest enemy!!i'm glad i'm a geek and never party,cause if some creep raped me,i'd kill them,i wouldn't cry,i wouldn't go into a shell,i'd go insane and kill them!!! i hate rapists,they are the lowest form of scum on this earth!! i'm glad you brought this to light,you may have just saved many women from falling victim to rape!! that makes you a wonderful caring person,and i really respect you for writing this!! you opened my eyes,but i never trusted anybody to begin with so..lol anyways,very impressive job,don't change a thing,hugs poetic janis and 
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This is great... Sad thing to talk about, very true, and it happens a lot, but this is a great poem about it... Great write...
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Wow... I hope everyone takes this to heart and heeds your warning... I'm glad you were saved from this and didn't have to experience it. I'm also glad that you decided to write about this and get the message out to everyone.
Good write.
Elizabeth -
Intense
Very nice write with a lot of emotion. This happens all too often and it almost always goes unspoken of. The imagery was superb and left nothing to the mind. There was so much feeling in this it truly was like it was written by a survivor. The sad truth is that often you do remember. These days there are too many people too anxious to try anything to get what they want. Great write with a great message, I hope a lot of people read it and listen to the message within.
Victoria Lin
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Excellent piece of work. Keep it up. You write very well.
--Victoria -
My friend was "ruffied" three weeks ago at a huge gathering and it wasn't from the hand of a friend...
The moments that ensued were horrendous as the victim fell to the ground, cried and went into what was seemingly a state of shock...
To make matters more interesting, it was a MAN who drank from a drink not his own...
Nice job with the visuals,
J+P
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