here they come again
its pouring down with rain
but they have still came
there they are,
those men thatdestroy our homes
we dread each day
we fear that,
one day there will be nothing left
of where we live
they come with chainsaws
and they chop down the trees where someone lived
i want to do something about it
but i am afraid that if i try those men will kill me
i do wish it would stop!
Author notes
this is a pathetic poem i had to think for 20 minutes if i shud add this poem but like....bka bla bla it is pathetic fullstop
Written July 11th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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this isnt pathetic it is good and i can totally relate to this...i wish the men with chainsaws would stop too,.
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thanx pinky you always make my day when you comment on my poems and i hope people in the group do read it and realise thanx
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This poem is NOT pathetic. This poem actually has a meaning. It is making people realise how much we are killing nature. You should actually be happy about writing this poem as you are creating awarness of Poachers and trees being cut down. Thanx for sharing this
I hope some other people in the Nature group will read this
pinkwhite xxx -
I think this poem really reminds me a lot of the (disney?) movie Fern Gully. It came out several years ago, I believe. You're poem describes a bit of what fern gully was like.
You should be proud of the work that you have done so far. (Are you really only 10 years old??) If so, that is more than enough of a reason to be proud, because it will really boost your confidence to continue to write poems of all sorts. And not that I wish you to go through rough times, but sometimes, the trials and tribulations in life will provide great inspiration for poetry. You are young now, but as you go through life, I hope your happy times outnumber the sad times but I hope you will be able to write about either!! Good luck!
And thank you for reading my story! I hope it has helped you somewhat in your endeavors to write poetry! -
Brilliant poem! I love Nature and I understand this poem. I hate people/poachers that kill animals and their habitat. I am going to appluad this. Oh yeah, I think you should change the colour of the font, its just that the writing is yellow and it is really hard to read it. keep up the spectacular work
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NatureGirl ~ -
This was a good write, I have some Critism though, There are a few Spelling errors and it doesn't Seem to Flow Right. I think of, when you go down to the next line you are supposed to Pause, these two lines
those men that,
destroy our homes
Its kinda like you saying 'Those men that, destroy our homes' See, the Comma shouldn't be there. Oh, and Don't Forget to Capitlize Important things, I should Always be capitlized ^_^ Other then those Three Crit things the poem was good, keep up the good work -
am sorry about this poem i think it is the worst i have done so far!
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